Just need to talk to my friends (194)

Today was Pi Day, we went to San Diego to eat chicken pot pie, then visited several areas of San Diego. This statue commemorates Victory over Japan @Times Square in 1945, the original photo was in LIFE Magazine.

This statue composition reflects Bob Hope entertaining the troops, there is also sound of Bob Hope's voice telling jokes.

Iris

6 am with Heavy rains here. Lots of lightning. Tornado warnings in Scottsboro so hopefully both of DH’s brothers are safe. I hate this weather. We have to get on the road shortly as I have a lung scan this morning. DH will drive us.

I fixed a good supper last night: baked glazed salmon, asparagus, baby red potatoes and onions. Stuffed mini cherry peppers and fresh sugar snap peas. Finished up the rest of the chocolate cake so later today I’ll make something sweet. Not sure what I have a taste for.

DH got 4 acres mowed yesterday before the rain. The front of my house has a small pasture that I’m thinking about fencing but DH says no.. I’d really like to have a small shelter closer to the house so any pregnant mamas and their babies would be right out the front door. Again, DH says no.

Well I gotta get dressed and out the door to my test. Have a safe day everyone

@JeriLynn66 Good luck with your scan today.

@Iris L. We celebrate Pi Day here as well. It's Scientists Day as well as DH's birthday which is fitting as he is a happily retired scientist who basically reads all day. He wanted hamburgers, so we did that, chocolate cake from Costco (phoning it in here) and amazon gift cards for more books.

I enjoyed your pictures. My son and DH sometimes watch EarthCam/San Diago on YouTube where they can watch the ships and air traffic.

@Mint I'm thinking about a lock box for mom now, too. I need to make that happen.

I make my store-bought Greek yogurt with dark cherries and top with my homemade granola. It's like dessert for breakfast but healthier. Calcium, protein, antioxidants, some healthy fat and fiber and I'm good until late afternoon.

@Lorita That weather sounds terrifying. I am glad things have passed. I have never seen hail as large as you are describing. That said, I once got stuck driving home from work for an hour during a hailstorm in my old Fiero. They have a plastic body. By the time I got home my eye was twitching.

@David1946 The apple bread sounds delicious. Does your wife use cubed, sliced or pureed apples for her bread? My mom used to sometimes sub out applesauce for part of the bananas when she made banana bread.

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We've been enjoying a glorious false-spring of late, but today brings showers and a change to more seasonal weather. I need to catch up on some cleaning as next week I'm out of the house for a couple of half-day appointments on Monday, Tuesday and Friday.

I think I've uncracked the code to a shorter appointment for mom's AMD injections-- take the last appointment of the day. If you take the 1pm appointment, you don't get out until a little after 4pm. They do a vision exam, and then take pressures and then dilate wait and do imaging first and then she gets the injections. If you get the 3pm appointment, they get all that done in about an hour so you're on your way home a little after 4pm.

Next Friday is mom's nuclear stress test. We were told to set aside 4-5 hours for this. She's supposed to eat a light breakfast without caffeine 4 hours before and bring a snack and caffeinated beverage along with her. I'm trying to decide whether I stay with her or if it's OK to leave. I have a hunch she might "fail" at some point-- she's much more winded than she's been even 3 months ago. If it doesn't go well, they'll stop the test and move onto other options.

HB

Love all the photos...keep'em coming.

No bad weather here...I sent it over to Lorita.

Who and how can get into the lock box???

9a zoom with the new meseum exhibit...O'keeffee/Cunningham. The Santa Fe museum was so helpful in putting this together.

"Well found out there was some bad storm damage in the northwestern part of our county. I would have still been up at the time. Mom didn’t notice anything either as we talked about that this morning." @Mint My daughter told me 6 fatalities reported somewhere near her.. she didn't say where.

Stopped by the ALF to make sure they had my FIL shower yesterday. I specifically instructed them on what to say, do and to call me if he refused because if I talk to him on the phone: he will comply. So the tech tells me they set him up and left him in there ALONE only to come back and find he had left the water on, didn't get in the shower but had soaked three towels by trying to get water up off the floor. So THEN they put him in the shower and scrubbed him, helped him get dressed. The little Tech tells me "you know he would do better in memory care, why isn't he there"? Well DUH!!!! Because your Director of Nursing scored him 25/30 on the mini-mental exam. (which is complete BS)

Since the move to ALF from Independent, he has declined. Although adapted well. Still goes to first floor to eat in the dining room at dinner, to the Library. Eats breakfast and lunch on his floor. Visits with his "girlfriend". But enough changes that I was thinking we had dipped a toe in Stage 6. Well today, there was no doubt. He cannot remember the steps to wash himself (big change), there was feces smeared on the toilet seat (poor hygiene) and used toilet paper on the vanity.

Today, he couldn't call my name. That's also a first. I was showing him pictures of the animals, the kids and grands, the pond. When he saw a picture of me, he said 'You're Michael's"... Michael was his son, my deceased husband. So, at least he knows WHO I am, maybe it's just an off day. Gut feeling: No. Makes me angry because I specifically questioned the DON on the mini-mental score. I dread the thought of moving him again, but if I have to - he has a friend in memory care there.

I was hoping he would just go to sleep one evening and not have to get so far along. He's 98 and has always said he was going to live to 100.

Sorry for rambling on so long..

Yes Lorita sometimes it can be a problem for them to get into house. Does anyone beside you carry a key to your house?

The fatalities were not in our county. The EMA Director just talked about two houses on one road. One of the houses was damaged to the point that they cannot live in it, a car was turned over and a camper was destroyed. The house across the street had siding missing and she said she thought she’d heard that some windows were blown out. I don’t listen to the news, so I’m not sure where they were. I just listen to our local news and it doesn’t tell very much usually. I could see a huge row of pine trees were blown down in the footage. This occurred about a half an hour north and west of me. Did hear someone at grocery store talking about damage from the storm.

Hope things settle down for your FIL a little Jerilynn. 98 is getting up there and I know what you mean.

Great David.

Ron sorry I don’t know much about endoscopies. Maybe someone else does.

They dilated the esophagus January when they went down looking for the nodule the second time. Last I heard wa what the pet scan was picking up could have been the wrap from fundilmacation due to my achalasia. They are still concerned about other findings. What I was told was the dr would be using a smaller scope this time where he could see more.

Ron

Good morning early risers.

@Lorita The lock boxes were shared as an option by Kevcoy the other day after he heard his area was served by Smart911. In those places 911 dispatch has your information (code, and special needs residents might have and even number of pets) and can let first responders know. Smart911 isn't universally available; my county has it but my friend in Philadelphia doesn't. I suppose you could inform local LE and EMS, if you installed it.

@David1946 It sounds like you're happy with your hearing aids. DH trialed a pair in Costco and hated that the world is noisy. I've made a deal that he can opt out of hearing aids and accept the risks involved so long as I can use his hearing glitches as material to amuse my friends. FTR, he still tells stories about his mom's terrible hearing.

@Mint I talked mom into a lock box yesterday. We both have Smart911 available where we live. FWIW, I think the model you chose is the one recommended by the NYT Wirecutter crew. I trust their recommendations as a rule.

@JeriLynn66 GRRR, on that DON. A MMSE is a quick'n'dirty snapshot that shouldn't override the concerns of family in a situation where they're asking for a higher level of care based on their knowledge of the PWD. Some 6-9 months before dad died when he was solidly stage 6, I took him to his geripsych for a med check-- we wanted more Seroquel to deal with delusions, aggression and agitation. Dad not only gave an Oscar-worthy showtiming performance in the office-- peppering his act with quips in Yiddish for his Israeli doctor (Dad's not Jewish) -- he managed to score a 25 on the MMSE. I didn't get the Seroquel. The doctor complimented him on his score and dad bragged all the way back to the valet stand about being "off the charts". Then, while my back was turned, he toddled off and got into some random little old lady's car. I will never forget the look on her face. Serial subtraction is not the best predicter of ADLs.

Pleasant here today. It's still a little warm and I have little to do today. The post office, the grocery store, laundry and a little gardening.

HB

Looking for advice from my front porch friends!

This does not happen all the time, but last night was the worse. When I get her ready for the bed, she always uses the bathroom. Last night she wanted to sit without pulling her drawers down, I finally got them pulled down. After she finished she wanted to pull them up without cleaning herself, I stopped her and she started slapping out at my hands and ended up digging her nails into my arm. I got her in bed and me being on blood thinner, I spent the next half hour cleaning and wrapping my arm where I don't bleed all over the bed. I believe the days I have trouble with her she doesn't realize it's me. I honestly feel like in her mind she thinks it's someone she doesn't know trying to do something to her. She's never talked about any abuse in all of our years together, but I wonder now how her childhood was.

Memory care is not a option!!

Ron

@ronald71111 I'm so sorry. How awful for you both.

It's very possible that nothing traumatic happened in Lou's past, she is probably reacting out of confusion at a time of day when she doesn't consistently recognize you as her doting husband. Think about how awful it would be to not recognize your spouse and feel like you're being assaulted.

One of the gentlemen in our IRL support group had the same situation with his dear wife. Initially it was only once in a while and in the evenings. His DIL who lived down the street would come assist him; she was an RN and could sweet talk her MIL into letting her help. Over time it became more often and he hired a bedtime HHA to come get his wife ready for bed as the DIL had 3 young kids to get ready for bed and school the next day. Eventually she couldn't recall him as her husband or even helper and he chose MC because she was so frightened of him at random times. Once in the care of the ladies in MC, she was able relax and enjoy his daily visits.

That said, I agree with @Lorita around curating her TV viewing. Dad used my mom's guilty pleasure crime dramas and become confused that he'd been the victim in whatever show he watched. It made him very fearful. Somedays he'd tell me all about having been raped, kidnapped or murdered by bad people the night before. He could recall what he'd had for breakfast, but he could still tell me about how scared he was.

HB

I checked on smart 911 is not in our area. The reason I went to the lock shop I went to is because even though it cost me a little bit more I trust them. They’ve been there many years I’ve used them. They always do good quality work, so I thought they’ll have good quality lockboxes. He told me the next county east of us. The fire department would actually supply it for my mom and they have a key to all of them. That’s great but we’re not in that county.

If there’s anyone out there who needs hearing aids and they’re still working, they might want to check with their state disability . I am aware of this, because my sister had to get hearing aids several years ago, her hearing disability was interfering with her work. So when she went to the clinic, they told her that they would be able to get her help from disability and they did.

David, I think you were supposed to be going for your test sometime soon if I remember right?

Ron scratches can get you into trouble sometimes like a kidney stone can. Know it seems minor, but some times things that are minor become major. Do you have a plan B in place? Im saying this kindly and gently to a fellow porch rocker, but feel it is something we all need to think about, as you know what happened to me last May 5th.

All of us need to think about these things. If tomorrow you landed up unresponsive in ICU is there a system in place for you and your LO? Does someone who would have to take responsibility for LO know that plan or would they have to figure out something for themselves. Would they have the power to do what they need to do. If you don’t recover mentally as they prepared my family for, or you don’t recover physically is there a plan of action that you have that your POA is aware of and could put in place for you and your LO? It is very stressful time for POA already. My sisters were afraid of losing their sister, but the world don’t stop they had to keep dealing with everything.

Do you use a medical alert system, that you could use if you need help and the only one with you is LO? My mom still has no trouble using the phone, but I would not trust her at all if something happened to me and we were there alone. She would not make good decisions more than likely. If you had a cardiac arrest or fell and couldn't get up would LO call 911? Last summer when I got those 10 yellow jacket stings picking blueberries at her house. My first thought was I have to get out of here and get on the road so that if something happens to me the person that finds me may have some clue hopefully of what to do. Know my mom could well make a very poor decision, and some wouldn’t be able to make any decision. I don’t expect anyone to answer any of these questions. This is totally your decision and privacy. It’s just that I would like for all of us to think about them for ourselves, LO and family or POA because they’re very important. It can happen so quickly. I was ok, 2 hours later i became unresponsive for around 4 &1/2 days.

My siblings made all my decisions for 41/2 days it could have been the rest of my life. I thought I had all my ducks in a row for them, but it turns out I didn’t. The bank wouldn’t allow my sister to access my safety deposit box, that would’ve been very important if I hadn’t of woke up. So as quickly as I could once I got out of the hospital my sister and I went back to the attorney, which a CELA. We then went directly to bank, and made sure that we now had a system in place that they would accept. Different banks have different requirements, so you need to make sure that whatever you do have in place that the bank that they would have to deal with accepts that. They very gladly will look it over and let you know, sometimes they even have to have their lawyers Look at it.

It is a good idea Also for whoever would have to take over paying your bills and stuff to be introduced to your system so that it’s not totally strange to them when they have to try to deal with your bills cause bills keep coming whether you’re aware or not. My sisters had a little issue with that, but they did get all my and mom’s bills paid. But then my sister came and helped me and we have a very well organized system for me and my mom. Laugh out loud now Sometimes I have trouble finding something I need to find, I know where it used to be. Anyway, this is just things for all of us to think about. I’ve kind of been there and done that already a little bit.

My mom has no one named as her sub for me if something happens to me. That is a bad thing, but not one that I believe that my mom would do anything about so I don’t ask her. She didn’t even like it that I got the lockbox but it’s kind of out of sight out of mind so that didn’t last too long.. She doesn’t want to deal with anything, which is rather challenging.

I need to get myself a medical alert system. Im thinking about an apple watch, we’ll see. There was a thread recently where people seemed happy with them.

Just some thoughts hope they help someone. If you are someone’s POA also gives you some things to checkout and be aware of.

This discussion came up again today for my DH and I now that he has retired. We are about to update all his documents. (He didn't have anything in place before I came along) Also, I routinely go over with my daughters about what is located where. I even send pictures by text message (most recently of my newly chosen funeral attire and shoes, lol). Since they will become POA for my father in law if something happens to me.. I just don't want to leave them in the mess I was in when my husband passed away. The Tech at the facility said yesterday "it's so sweet of you to take care of your father in law". Well, he doesn't have any living relatives, so who else will do it? DUH... (yes, I'm still so aggravated with them)

So the girls are coming for lunch tomorrow. I got a really pretty pot roast to go with potatoes, carrots. I cheated again and bought Angel Food Cake and will serve that with strawberries and cream. Also got plain cupcakes with white frosting for the great granddaughter to cover in colored sugar or sprinkles. I'm gonna put on a pot of "pocket beans" (giant white lima beans) this afternoon. Supposed to be pretty so I imagine DH will have the little one out on the golf cart with her new "pasture boots". The really cold weather returns Monday night with lows in the 28 degree range.

Back to work on gathering tax documents.. later Gator!