Memory Care to Skilled nursing journey

My DH had a fall 3 weeks ago at his MCF and they transported him to the hospital. I didn't want him to go because I knew most likely he wouldn't be able to return to the memory care unit. I know how these things work. Well, they've said he is not going to be able to come back there. So I'm looking at skilled nursing now. I did hire a Care Manager to help with this process. And I do recommend that to anyone feeling overwhelmed with the process. My elder care Atty recommended someone. You have so much to think about number one of course, your family member. When my husband's in the hospital, he has what's called hospital delirium, it's frightening to see, and that's why I always hate the thought of him having to go there. They're trying to get his behaviors under control and adjusting his meds to help with some of these. I do agree that if for no other reason this trip to the hospital has really helped take a hard look at the medication he was on. I do see some positive improvements. However, it is very hard to even get into a skilled nursing facility. If you have some aggressive behaviors, no matter what the cause, it seems like a real catch 22, as one of the many symptoms of Alzheimer's can be forms of aggression. He also is labeled as needing 1 on 1 assistance now, as the hospital is fearful of him falling based on what happened at the memory care unit.

So that really puts him in a spot of, as they say, not being very appealing to skilled nursing facilities, apparently they can be very picky.

I will say even memory care units who say they are geared towards patients with alzheimer's really only want the patients who are very complacent and just do as they are told, nothing really out of the ordinary. My husband was a bit more high maintenance then they were use to, and it was more than they could handle, I believe. We have one good thing in our favor, financially we are appealing because we have long term care insurance..go figure.

I see him declining verbally, while in the hospital and worry if it's from the new meds, progression of the disease, the delirium or something else..this is as exhausting as when I was his full time care giver, sadly. I naively thought when he went to memory care my role would shift back to wife, partner and confidant In some form. It's really tough. I was having another sleepless night (430 a.m. now) ruminating over if I'm doing all i can and thought, hey, I'll reach out to my support group..you always know the right things to say 👍 Thanks in advance.