New here.

Welcome. Sorry about your Mom. Many spouses and family members are in denial about the disease. The truth is too painful for them. I would tell your Dad that dementia is a progressive disease of the brain and there is no cure. Many PWDs want to go home even if they are living in the same home for a long time. Anxiety causes them to say they want to go home. Home to them is a feeling not a physical place. What I found helped was redirecting or distracting my DH. I would visit at mealtime and only stayed about an hour. When I left I didn’t say goodbye, I just quietly left. I told the nurse I was leaving and she would take him ice cream to distract him. You might have your Dad read the book “The 36 Hour Day” before you have the discussion about your Mom. You can also show him a chart of the 7 stages of dementia that lists the behaviors in each stage. You can Google it.

My husband sometimes asked if he would get better. I would say something like ‘well you are on some medication right now, and that is really helping us manage things, so we will keep up with that. Right now, we look for ways to appreciate what we have and being here together.’

Your dad may never understand that she won’t get better. Perhaps he can see that somewhere in her she knows she is loved, and he and you are doing the best you can for her.