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Guardian-family angry at my decisions

Losingmom23
Losingmom23 Member Posts: 4
Second Anniversary First Comment
Member
in Caring for a Parent

I have been a guardian for 5 years. We make very difficult decisions daily. Family members always think it is their right to tell me my decisions are wrong. I always ask prior for professional advice. My person has not asked for their wedding ring. I have been told to not give valuables to your loved one. Yet family members are literally yelling at me telling me I'm wrong. Help and suggestions

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  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 581
    250 Likes 500 Comments 100 Care Reactions Second Anniversary
    Member

    Is this your family too? Or are you a non-related guardian? In either case, its wise not to give the PWD costly or sentimentally valuable jewelry. Too easy for it to be lost. Does the rest of the family understand how impaired the PWD is?

    Sometimes you just can't win when you are the decision maker. If you were to give the wedding ring to your PWD and it was lost, guess who would be blamed? Hang in there and do what you feel is safest for your person.

  • Colacho10
    Colacho10 Member Posts: 47
    10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    You are in a challenging spot. Your job as a guardian is to prevent loss and distress, and risking a valuable sentimental item is irresponsible, no matter how much family members argue.

    Just don't argue with them or over-explain. Tell them that you must follow the professional advice to secure valuables to protect your person. And don't feel guilty over nothing, you are doing your job

  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 590
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Lost or stolen for sure. Someone on here, their spouse just threw away a Bose speaker, in the trash can and out the door. If she is asking for it, what is often done is to find several similar pieces of costume jewelry rings. If she is not asking for it do not upset the applecart. To those upset people, say how upset do you think LO would have been if that ring was lost, she had wanted her family to keep it and pass it down. What we did with all items like that was to take a picture, make an inventory list, and let everyone know what was there and generally the safe location where it was kept.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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