Help With Checking for Dementia

Thank you, yes, we’re in the process of looking into it, but my husband is about to get out of a turnaround with his operations job (14 days on 1 day off for 2 months) so I’ve been trying to check in on them every other day or so while he is unable. Unfortunately, I’ve heard some not so good things about those few facilities we have here so I’m not feeling great about it. We’ve been highly disappointed with the care they’re getting at the AL facility. We need to get her approved for disability before trying to get her approved for Medicaid. She should be approved, but if not, we simply don’t have the money to pay out of pocket for MC. The only reason they’ve been able to live in this facility is because both of their social security checks go completely to the home. We’re paying out of pocket for essentials so it’s already becoming hard with finances. My fil should be approved and placed in a nursing home with Medicaid, but not sure how it’ll work out for my mil. I’ll tell my husband about contacting an elder care attorney, but not sure how much that costs. As far as testing goes, what can we ask the doctor to do? PET scan vs MRI? I’ve heard also about a short question test versus long question test.

That’s a good idea for written orders, I was actually wondering if they can write it in a file if they have one for them. I wasn’t sure how that all works. I did tell my husband recently, with all the “balls” the facility has been dropping lately, that we should get the director involved so she’s aware of the carelessness and can hold the workers accountable. My in-law’s have a spiral notebook on their kitchen counter that everyone is supposed to be filling out daily for meds, catheter empties, meals given, etc. but many have not been doing it for much of the day so we can never be sure my fil has eaten because we can’t trust my mil’s word because she’ll forget or lie unknowingly. We understand it’s not her fault, but still not trustworthy. So that’s the current situation.

Yes, my husband has been paying on both his parent’s funerals ahead of time recently. So that’s taking a big chunk. I’m worried about the $8k that he used for them to pay off his little sister’s car. His mom had wrecked it a couple of times and it was in bad shape. My sil couldn’t afford (she’s early 20’s) to get it fixed and then she found out she was pregnant last February so my husband thought it only right for them to pay to get it fixed. He did ask his mom and dad first, which they agreed. Just not sure it’ll pass for Medicaid criteria. He’s also been using it for medical exepenses, which are ongoing especially with her starting the process to get a diagnoses for dementia. So he said there’s not much left, I think maybe $20k or so (started with around $50k), but with paying off the funeral costs, it’ll probably go quickly. He already has POA, but he should definitely find out those things. Thankfully, she’s still in somewhat okay state of mind to where she’ll do whatever my husband asks is needed for their care. So he can still get her to sign things if he sees fit.