Conservatorship Process

danfordks · July 8

Father is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and is prone to shopping sprees, scams, and donating money, but doesn’t pay his taxes, bills, and maxes out credit cards.

He’s in debt $500k, but denies any problem with his actions or Alzheimer’s diagnosis from his neurologist.

Would like first hand experience with establishing a conservatorship from the process to experience with an attorney.

SusanB-dil · July 8

Oh, my! welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

There are CLEC lawyers (specialty - for elder care) can probably best guide you. Have you taken away the credit cards? IF he must have a card, maybe one that is either expired, or is actually a major-brand gift-card.

Your dad has anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather, he is totally oblivious that anything at all is wrong. What they think is their reality. Everybody else is just trying to make their life miserable.

If he will not sign over for DPOA, sometimes a CLEC lawyer may be able to even help getting them to sign. It is worth a shot. Maybe tell him that you are doing this together and the lawyer said it is in your best interest (not his) to go ahead and sign 'for the future'.

H1235 · July 8

In my experience the bar is set pretty low for signing a DPOA. Trying to convince him the necessity of this because of is dementia probably won’t work. Many here suggest that getting legal matters handled is just something that needs to be done since they are getting older. I would avoid any and all discussion of symptoms in the days leading up to the elder law appointment. A DPOA does not legally take the person’s ability to make legal decisions away. My mom liked this and assumed she would still be making decisions for herself. Because mom didn’t drive and doesn’t know how to use a computer it made it easier for me to eventually end all her access to her money. A letter signed by two doctors stated she was not capable of making decisions for herself and this helped convince my sibling this was the right thing to do. This letter was signed just a couple of months after she signed the DPOA and other legal documents. There was really no change in her symptoms during that time. If you have already tried this route with no luck, I’m afraid I have no experience with conservatorship. I wish you luck. It’s my understanding this can be very costly, time consuming and frustrating.

danfordks · July 29

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/276879#Comment_276879

Thank you for taking time to respond to this. My father was in finance so any talk of it, he belittles us. My mom allowed him to have al access without sharing financial access online or by phone with being the primary. She’s screwed and just wants to die so he can be stripped food and shelter. She feels unsafe when he demands to make her pay bills and social services in California (orange county) have been notified but nothing besides her leaving town for her mental wellbeing and then being notified that she’s reported for elderly abuse because she left. I sent him a grocery delivery and when she returned, she grabbed an eggo waffle from the fridge and he cornered her in the kitchen stating that’s my waffle bitch.

danfordks · July 29

there are o credit cards after $200k he spent and including her credit cards. Because his career was in business and finance, his reasoning is we don’t have the, and I quote,”the intelligence to financially survive without him.” Going to the neurologist is the best we do to gently get someone not close to him helping what he should do. His response to this is they’re letting me know before things go south so let him do his thing.

towhee · July 29

Your first step is to talk to a lawyer. You can find elder law specialists by checking nelf.org or naela.org. You can also try for info from Area Agencies on Aging in California or senior centers. You could call the help line listed at the bottom of the page for general info and support. If you put the terms California and conservatorship in the search box at top of page or just conservatorship or guardianship you will get past discussions of the topic. Might be helpful.

The process differs from state to state but I think the general outlines are the same. It has been too long since I went thru it on a different state to give any specifics. A DPOA is much easier and cheaper but it might not be possible for you. Talk to a lawyer. A good approach is not how much money PWD is losing but what the loss is doing to their safety and health, homeless, etc.

If your father is a danger to your mother talk to the doctor, there may be medications that can help and you need to talk to someone about how it works in California when you need to send someone to the emergency department because they are a danger to themselves or others.

You cannot reason with a person with dementia. Trying to win an argument is futile. Also, anosognosia is real and common.

Are there any other notable deficits besides financial bad judgement? Short term memory loss, things he can no longer do?

I am a little confused by some portions of your post "stripped food and shelter"?

Conservatorship Process

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