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Just need to talk to my friends ,(172)

Lorita
Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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Hi,

Thought it might be time for 172.

It's been a very cool day for a change.

Hope everyone's aches and pains are better. Seems like I've felt better today.  .  Did dishes and a few other things..  Enjoy your evening.

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  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,678
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    Good morning

    64F, 18C.  Got a little over an inch of rain yesterday evening.  Thankful for that.  They mowed my yard before it rained so that worked out good.  

    Got a little work done with my plants too.  Going to try and rest today.  Seems I’m so slow at getting things done. 

    Hope each one has a peaceful day.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Glad you got some rain, Sara, to help your plants grow.  Supposed to have a lot of rain here the next few days.

    It's very cool here this morning.  Drove down to see the babies.  Saw the new baby walking around with mom close by..  Everyone seemed fine.

    Jack called- so manycomplaints.

  • telinde
    telinde Member Posts: 195
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    Good morning.  Sunshine and warmer today.  We’ve had snow, sleet and rain, along with terrible wind this past week. The high mountains got up to two feet of snow. I can’t believe we are still in a moderate drought. Luckily nothing froze here.  We had freezing temps for two days.  Crazy weather this spring. 

    I’m packing up today to go to my granddaughter’s high school graduation. She’s the one who shows steers.  I’m excited to spend the week with them and enjoy the excitement and chaos.  I always love that.  

    Sara, I’m thinking of you dealing with your Mom. That has to be frustrating and difficult on most days.  Glad you haven’t managed to get lost on the hospital roof yet. Lol

    Lorita, good you’re feeling better. I got my covid booster last week. No reactions.  My arm was really sore the first night, but was gone by morning.  I wonder if Jack doesn’t have a lot to talk about so is telling you every little thing that isn’t perfect. Hopefully he will settle in and start enjoying himself. It sounds like a nice place, and he really needs to be there.  

    Awe, another little calf.  They are so cute and so full of life.  I hope you are enjoying having your house fixed up and the air conditioning working. Now, hope you get your new computer working, and you will be set for summer.  The guy started my swamp cooler, but I haven’t needed it yet.  

    Barbra, glad your surgery is behind you and hope you are feeling better.  Seems like the older I get, the more my body wants to break down. Must be normal, but we don’t have to like it. 

    Ron, enjoy your company and happy birthday to Lou 

    Zetta, did you get bad weather this week?  A lot of our storms come from the northwest. 

    Jo, Happy Birthday this week.  Celebrate and have a special day. 

    Judith, I love apple crisp but haven’t made it for a very long time. My recipe is from the good ole Betty Crocker cookbook.  I love oatmeal and brown sugar. It is delicious with the apples. 

    Beth, your flower gardens are so pretty. They look like an art piece. I keep mine simple so I don’t have so much work.  

    I guess I better get my suitcase packed and go gas up the car. Have a good week and enjoy today.  Joan

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Joan, have fun on your trip - know you will.  Doesn't seem possible your  GD is graduating.

    It's cold &cloudy here this morning but will be hot again soon.

    Be safe on your trip.

  • BethL
    BethL Member Posts: 838
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    Joan, enjoy your trip and congratulations to your granddaughter! 

    Lorita, so glad Zelda found a loving home. She deserves it. 
    Joan, I saw that Ken Caryl area of CO had 8" of snow! I do love CO but I do not love snow in May. I live in IA and we get plenty of winter, believe me. It was cool this a.m., just 44 degrees. 

    Sara, I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with your mom. You have helped her a lot, but in some things she likely doesn't want or doesn't feel she needs your help. Does she still drive? 

    Barbara, I am sorry you  have been so ill and I hope your recovery from now on will be quick. 

    I planted sunflowers yesterday and nasturtiums. I think I've got everything planted now that I plan to. No place for cucumbers this year, sorry to say. 

    Judith, apple crisp sounds good. I eat apples (raw) almost every day. Yesterday I made a rhubarb dessert. Boy, was it ever good. 

    Enjoy your weekend everyone!

    Beth

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    Hoping everyone is having a good weekend. I did not catch up on everything happening on the porch the last couple of weeks, but it sounds like so many interesting updates as always.

    Happy to say the weekend has been great. Not perfect, but good more than not. After a very challenging week, so I am thankful for that! Yesterday was a sit and watch movies between naps, with DH. (After a very exhausting Friday. Will post about it soon. Involves firefighters and as usual they were amazingly helpful, just in time.) Today, I cut the grass, the shrubs, and the outdoor extension cord lol. That last one wasn't planned, but oh well. At least I was done.

    Sayra - you mentioned feeling slow, but I see you accomplishing so much and it seems to be at a sustainable pace. It is one thing I admire about you. When I fill my plate so full and then seem to be running to catch up with myself, nothing works well at all. Sometimes taking a break from the rat race is just what the Dr. ordered. I really need to schedule in some "down time". Your volunteer role seems really fulfilling. Nice to contribute part time. Thanks for the morning greeting for all of us. It did start my day off very peacefully. I appreciate that!

    Lorita - I hope your computer gets up and running soon. Congrats on another new baby! The last I read, you were going to grab a sledge hammer and try to fix whatever is sharp out in the yard. I said to myself, I should stop complaining about my aches and can't-do's, and be more like Lorita (and Nike...just do it!). Also, I saw the ducks cross the street in Memphis, going to breakfast at the Peabody Hotel. Traffic stops at a certain time for that tradition. (Maybe still?)

    Storycrafter - Loved your "May" poem. Made me smile. So true! Whatever happened to May just "bringing May flowers...?) 

    BethL- Your garden made me smile too. Beautiful! It looks like something out of the garden shows...Make my Garden Perfect, which we have been watching on Hulu sometimes.

    Jmlarue - I appreciate all the vicarious joys you all are sharing, since life is on lockdown for the most part at my house, with DH not wanting to go out (together anyway). Or not wanting to come back when I have been able to get him into the car a few times recently. Yikes! So, your island home sounds delightful. I had snowbird dreams at one point too, but we will have to see.

    Rescue - Dustbunnies sound so cute, but I sneeze my head off with allergies from flowers which I love, and dust which of course I don't. I need to dust! I had hoped to get help with that in DH's space at least, but am masking up and doing it when he is in a different room since HHA's are either scarce or confirmed but awol, sigh.

    Day - Congratulations! belatedly, on your promotion and brand new schedule. Sounds like your plans came through as you wanted. I'm so happy that is the case. I think I need to seek remote work since CG help seems unpredictable and I can't commit to being onsite on time, for sure.

    Zetta - Glad you are feeling less tired. I have been, but half of it is mental exhaustion I think.

    Barbara - Joining the chorus wishing you full recovery quickly. I admire you for courage to take care of yourself and especially am thinking what would I do if I needed surgery in the eyelid area. I'm a total chicken in that regard!

    Telinde - All 4 seasons in one week - kind of amazing. Has your weather always been that way? And congrats on your HS grad grand! I hope your week together with family is terrific.

    Jo C and Ron (Lou) - Happy Birthday week, and I hope it is full of enjoyable moments for you and your LOs! Jo you give so much to our forum mates every day and Ron, your care of your DW is an inspiration. Makes me keep my chin up when things get a little rocky here with DH.

    Jfkoc - apple crisp. I really love it Your power of suggestion got me. So, since I was out of apples, flour, and sugar (yes...) I found a box of brownie mix in the cabinet and a bag of walnuts. Mmm...so DH and I just had brownies for dessert. I got my exercise in, doing yardwork so no guilty conscience here.

    Wishing everyone a peaceful rest of the weekend and a very nice week to come. 

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,678
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    Good morning

    So nice to hear from everyone.

    50F, 10 C.  Was a cold dark day yesterday.  Had one pound of stew meat left so fixed that and froze a lot of it.  Will make a quick and easy supper after work.

    Happy Birthday JoC.

    Lorita hope you are able to get a computer up an working soon.  

    Beth my mom has never driven.  That is one area I won’t have to deal with.  Doesn’t it feel good when everything  get planted?  I have a way to go yet.  It seems to be hot or cold and a lot of strong wind.  Wind is so hard on new plants.

    Joan hope you have a nice trip and get to enjoy the time with your family.

    Take care everyone

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Happy Birthday. Jo!!  Ice cream and caKe later today on the porch.


    Took down trash, then stopped by lot and broke off a lot of poke stalks.  Hate those.  Drove up and saw new baby.  Toad fed and Penny left baby It down while she ate,  ttthen hurried back to him.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,768
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     Now it's a craving!

    • 4medium tart cooking apples, sliced (4 cups)
    • 3/4cup packed brown sugar
    • 1/2cup Gold Medal™ all-purpose flour
    • 1/2cup quick-cooking or old-fashioned oats
    • 1/3cup butter, softened
    • 3/4teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • 3/4teaspoon ground nutmeg
    Brownies...Ok, you all know I barely cook and I do not bake so here is the recipe for really good brownies. Gheradille (sp) brownie mix but replace liquid with strong coffee.

    Had Cox out Thursday. They had to come back Saturday and redo everything done which had left us with no TV or land line. Took hhim 2 hours to screw everything up and only 15 minutes to straighten it out. 

    Raining again. Things could not be any greener. This has to be the wettest spring ever.
  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Judith, glad you got things fixed. Hate when  things get out of order.

    Thanks for the recipe- sounds  so good. Maybe I'll try it since I have apples.

    Kats from the shelter called yesterday. The couple who adopted Zelda drove from Lincoln, Neb. To get her. Fell in love with her when they saw her picture on Boxer Rescue.  They have a Boxer who is four and goes everywhere with them so Zelda will, too and she'll have a companion.  Good outcome all around.

    I think I finally have this tablet set up. Called our phone company and got Andrew in Texas who helped me.  Everything is so complicated no wonder I don't like change.

    Raining here and pretty chilly.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Jo, hope your birthday was a good one. 

    When do the avocado trees bloom and what do the blooms look like?  I bought one the other day and it was $3.50 or more but it's a good one.  Have any of you ever tried the frozen ones?  I know the store where I shop doesn't have them.

    Been a very quiet, lazy day.  Also very cool and cloudy until the sun came out for a few minutes late in the day.  Supposed to be rainy tomorrow and Wednesday.

    Been trying to decide on a case for the new tablet - too many options.  I think I'll like it when I get used to it.

    Dry eyes are really bothering me even with the humidifier.  I had the LR ceiling fan on two or three days and shouldn't have. With it on and your eyes closed the air still gets in.

    I have four frozen pie crusts,- why I don't know.  Trying to figure out how to cut them so I can make smaller pies with pie filling like fried pies but baked.  Any ideas?

    Not sure I can stay awake for Barney Miller st 11- wish he was on earlier.  Need to get the TV in the bedroom hooked up the right way so I can watch it.

    Judith, did you get your Caladiums planted?  I'm going to wait until after the rain.

    I'll stop for now - hope all of you and your fur babies are all right.  Mine are all asleep.  The new baby is really a cutie.  There's five little, bitty ones but old enough to be away from their moms for a little while,,- except the new one.

    Sleep well.  See you tomorrow.

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,678
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    Good morning

    46F, 8C.  Giving a sunny day.  Hope I can get a little more done after I get off work.  

    Yesterday was cool.  Got a little more mulch yesterday and got about half of it put down.  Going to start planting everything out now.  Still giving some cool nights but at some point things need in the ground.

    Lorita so glad you got your tablet up.

    Have never tried frozen avocado.  Think I would just cut the pie crust in half , think I have done that before.  Also have a small pie plate.  Put my crust in it, cut off the outer excess then make. Lattice top with what I cut off.

    Cannot tolerate ceiling fans due to it drying my eyes.  When using  a regular fan aim it at my feet.  Find that very cooling and doesn’t dry my eyes.

    Guess I had better get moving.

    Take care everyone 

  • BethL
    BethL Member Posts: 838
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    Lorita, I have dry eyes too. I used to use Restasis but when my insurance changed it became too expensive. Now I use Systane Balance. Systane Complete is good too and for me, easier to locate.  So glad you got your new tablet working! I've missed your newsy posts.

    Chilly and cool past couple of days. Rain expected tonight. Everything is so green. Looks beautiful. 

    Hope all are well. Take care.

    Beth

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Morning,

    Rainy morning.  Had half an inch during night so things are muddy again.  Much more expected this afternoon.

    Went out and gave Tom his medicine in a little canned food.  Didn't eat quite all of it but guess he will.  He seems okay no sneezing or coughing.  I looked for Penny and baby, then saw two moms and babies coming up one was Penny.  Baby was hanging back so she'd stop and look back bat him and he'd catch up.  They are so cute.

    Sara, glad you're going to get your seeds planted.  Then you can set back and watch them grow.  Fascinating that one little seed can make a plant that has fruits or vegetables on it.  Still need to get my bulbs planted.  The  Gerbera daisies didn't come up this year.

    Beth and Sara, it's amazing that so many people have dry eyes.  I read the older you get the worse it is.  I tried wearing contacts when I was in my twenties but even then didn't have enough tears.  Thanks, Beth for the tip on Systane.  I had a box of individual vials of Systane and it helped.  I usually use Refresh and GenTeal eye gel at night.

    Weatherman just said some areas west of us have had up to 6" of rain - that in areas that flooded a couple of weeks ago.

    Thanks, Sara, for the idea about pies.  Daddy used to make fried pies from biscuits.  He'd roll a biscuit out, put in filling, close it up and fry it.  I was never very good at it.  I need to make Judith's apple crisp first.

    I'll stop for now. Glad the tablet is working. Spent some time yesterday trying to decide on a cover- got a voucher for one with the tablet.

    Enjoy your day.  Sandy, last night there was a news story that reminded me of you.  A bear was fooling with a bird feeder near a house, then broke through a nearby window and got into the house so be careful of those bears.  Talk with you soon.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,768
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    you got a new computer and a new tablet????

    my bulb are still in the box ...someone moved the box and now the bottom is wet...they need to get into a dry situation and I too will wait for the soil to dry out.

    rain, rain, rain...it is like a jungle out there

    has everyone checked their Jif ? Ours was bad.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Judith, the tablet is a 10" Amazon Fire, similar to mg old one.  I bought the laptop some months ago not yet set up and don't feel like getting it done right now.

    II's raining off and on here.  It's so green, the air seems green.  It all pretty chilly, too.  But I prefer this to hot weather.

    Are you going to soak your bulbs for a couple of hours before you plant them?  Ground will probably be wet enough.

    Did you get your second booster?  Seems like you did.  I'll get mine next week.

    How's Winda? Tell her hi for me.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Judith, hope you hadn't eaten any of the peanut butter.  I use store brands and Natural so didn't have to worry this time.

    If you all want to see something sweet watch the YouTube video of someone returning a baby sloth to its mother.  Must have fallen out of the tree.

    Now there's water collecting under the crispers in the refrigerator- really getting tired of things going wrong.

    And now we have Monkey pox!!

    Still raining.

  • ronald71111
    ronald71111 Member Posts: 1,214
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    Jo., happy birthday a day late! I hope your day was a calm relaxing one. Not sure yet what we will do for Lou's birthday; except for eating out.

    Family has all left now and once again it's just Lou and I. I look forward to family and am excited when they arrive, than when they leave I'm glad to have things back to normal, after a couple of days I'll wish they were back. 

    Speaking of the second booster shot; I thought I would get mine last week but the nurse said since I had the harmone shot that day to wait until the middle of June when I see my primary care. Rain was supposed to be heavy all day but now they are saying its tonight before it moves in.

    The big family reunion in Florida this September is still being planned. They found a beach front property with seven rooms available that CV each family could rent for either 3 days are a week. Major setback for Lou and I is no pets allowed. Littlebit will be over 17 years old and has never been left with anyone and I will not start leaving him now. I wouldn't even go but I was part of the main reason they started the planning with my Birthday being three generations sharing the same date; my niece in Florida, her son and myself was all born the 24th of September.  When I was in Vietnam they sent me a picture of my niece celebrating her first Birthday and holding my picture. 

    I'm a windbag today and haven't given anyone on the front porch time to talk so I'll shut up for now.

    Stay safe everyone!

    Ron

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Ron, nice that you enjoyed the visit.   One.of our neighbors who is now deceased once told me that she enjoyed n her kids visiting but was always glad to see their taillights disappear around the corner.  Same with us but we always missed them.

    Don't blame you for not wanting to leave Little Bit.  At his age he would not understand why.  But a shame to not go and celebrate birthdays together.

    I guess the rain we're having today is what you'll get tomorrow.  For so long western Oklahoma hasn't had rain and now that the wheat is ready to harvest they're getting rain.  Worst time for rain.  But we take what we get.

    Hope you and Lou are all right.  Good to see your post.

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,916
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    Hello everyone and thank you very much for your Happy Birthday wishes.   It was a quiet day which is golden.  I spent a lot of time getting birthday phone calls and emails with special online wishes, some very funny, and it was all delightful.    I did not want a birthday cake, it is just my DH and me, so he got some cheesecake . . . I haven't had that in a year or two.  It was SO good.  I mean; really, really good and I nearly licked the graham cracker crumbs off the plate!  I am low maintenance and easily pleased, so that was perfect.  Another year older . . . it makes me giggle; I am now a white haired old broad but inside I feel no different than I did at 40.  Go figure; the outside is, well . . . . it just is; you all know what I mean.  Gravity be dratted!

    Dear gentleman Ron, Lou has a birthday on the 28th as I recall.  Lovely that family came to visit, I know what you mean Ron.  Lovely planning and preparing for the visit and SO happy to have them all . . . for me, it was usually a full family with multiple grands for two to three weeks AND the rest of the extended family arriving at intervals.  And like you, when they did leave, it was both my DH and myself collapsing on the sofa in the family room and staying there for two days to recoup; boy were we tired.  But, then we missed them all over again.  Sure wish they lived closer, but out of state is out of state.  And now, all grands are grown and scattered about - of course, all out of state.  Ah well, that is life.  I can well understand your not wanting to leave Littlebit at 17 years old; I would be in the same predicament.  That is very elderly for a little doggie and she has not been without you; it is quite traumatic for them and it is very loving of you to understand that and keep her safe.

     Joan, have a wonderful time on your trip - hope it is an absolute joy for you and knowing you I am sure it will be.  You are a wonderful grandmother; the family is blessed to have you.

     No Lorita, I would never eat a frozen avocado and they do not do well with freezing; if you Google "does freezing affect avocados," you will find a lot of input and some photos.  Buying commercially frozen avocado does nothing for them - the commercial products have additives and they do not taste anything like an avocado.  I have tried many and my input is, "ick." The freezing actually changes the texture and nothing much good comes of it.  Also, the commercially processed stuff is not as healthy and can affect the good stuff in the fruit.  I stick to the fresh avocados; they ripen off the tree.  We buy them year round, being in California, it is far easier to get good avocados I would imagine than it is further  into the states.  Like peaches, we do not get the good tree ripened southern peaches out here . . . sure wish we did.

     As for what avocado trees look like when blooming:  here is a link -

     https://californiaavocado.com/seasonal-updates/californias-avocado-flowers-in-bloom/

    If planting an avocado tree do use Google and look up pollination and cross pollination for avocado trees or, "how to get my avocado tree to produce fruit."  It is not an overnight process, it takes a looooong time to get a successful tree.  Love those avocados and they are very healthy for us. 

    So; Judith, did the Neurologist know what is causing the neuropathy and was he/she able to prescribe something to help?  I am so sorry that you are having to experience that, it is a heavier burden than most people understand.   Our son whose neuropathy was caused by an abrupt onset of AncaVasculitis was prescribed several meds to help his vessels - he was on Lyrica, Pregabalin, and Gabapentin.  It took time before he could begin tapering the meds off and they were the only thing initially causing relief from the intense pain; then the intense numbness and lack of feeling and disability. He is now off all meds and back to normal - it was a long haul and he was awesome in how he worked hard at it.   He has been back working full time for quite awhile, and pushes himself for his health with exercise and healthy foods - far better at it all than his Mom; he is of course a lot younger than his Mom.  That return to function because of vasculitis may well be different from other causes of neuropathy; each causative factor will have its own treatment approach and it does take a good Neurologist that specializes in such treatment within his/her practice, so it is really good you have sought that out.

    I received an email a couple of weeks ago and forgot to mention it.  Some of you may recall, Mimi, a Peer Volunteer; she was awesome.  Mimi has passed away and she was a woman of much strength and great experience in her life.  It was very sad to learn about her passing, she was lovely in many ways.

    What did the vet say was wrong with the cat, Tom, Lorita?  Poor wee thing, and he now trusts you which is really something after all the time he spent avoiding humans.  Sorry to hear Jack is having negatives - he is now past the initial "honeymoon" period of being relieved of near starvation and lack of care and sees things in a different light.   Sure hopes he does not have negative feelings about selling his house.  Perhaps he will begin to settle down a little bit now that he is settled in at the ALF.   You have done all you can do and thensome. 

    Geeze, this is turning into another novel, time for me to get going and let someone else have some space.  Ron; you are never too long in your Posts and we really enjoy hearing from you.  We shall meet again on the Front Porch to exchange more thoughts, recipes, and those bits and pieces we usually do.

     J.

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,916
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    Someone sent this to me, and I thought if any of you are looking for a new hobby or a new "recipe" for chocolate, this may be a suggestion:

     https://www.tiktok.com/@amauryguichon/video/7098347638273199402?_t=8SYVnPFsQ3e&_r=1

    It is all edible . . . . he is a chocolatier and an artiste . . .

     J.

      

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Jo, glad your birthday was good.  Funny that we grow older physically but hopefully stay mentally younger if we're lucky.  I don't feel almost 80 until I sit too long or try to do something I used to do easily.  Today I've sat too much watching TV, listening to the rain and dozing.

    Thank you so much for the link about avocados. It was very interesting.  The blooms remind me of something I've seen but not an avocado bloom.  Never saw one of those trees.  I think I have mentioned that many years ago Charles and I started an avocado tree from a seed.  It grew to be about 5' tall with two branches that looked like it had arms.  We put it outside in the summer and brought it inside in the winter - until we didn't one year.

    Went out to the barn to see if the girls were all right and most of them were still in there out of the rain.  It's stopped now so they're probably out grazing.

    I called Jack today to tell him about Zelda and he was happy to hear it.  He says he misses her and thinks of her a lot.  What good company she would have been to him when he was still home.

    He's settling in somewhat. He goes for his meals, cones back to his apartment and takes naps.  At least he's safe.

    I've found a new game show that I enjoy --America Says.  I'm not smart enough to play some of them,- like Jeopardy- can't think of the answers fast enough.

    Hope you all have a nice evening and sleep well.

  • dayn2nite2
    dayn2nite2 Member Posts: 1,132
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    I'm so happy that Zelda has found a forever home.  

    I'm enjoying the new role and it's definitely different - about half email and half phone, all problem-solving.


  • JoeD
    JoeD Member Posts: 2
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    How do other caregivers cope with lack of companionship and NO intimacy?  I am not a young male but I do miss true companionship and physical intimacy. Like I read the person that once was is no more. The jibberish word salad is worse than ever. No conversation No intimacy is really straining my feelings and yes my longing for intimacy.  I find myself wanting the end to come but worrying that I’m not doing enough.
  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,916
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    Hello Joe; I see by your Profile that in 2015 you were married for 50 years, so today that would be a marriage of 57 years.  I also see that your wife was diagnosed in 2015 and already had problems prior to the formal diagnosis, so that is quite a bit of time with at least seven years of dementia progession.   I am very sorry for what is happening and can understand the deep feelings of loss you are experiencing, it can be a deeply lonely place to find oneself.  There is a lot of ongoing grief of loss and feelings of emptiness with an ongoing long dementia experience. 

    Many Members have shared their feelings of grief and loss and deep loneliness; some of them, while loving their spouse, have permitted themselves to go outside their home to establish new friendships and even personal relationships.  Others have adapted to their situations and make connections through old friends, church, or other small groups which helps them to balance their life in a small way.

    It sounds as though your wife may be being cared for at home?  I do not know if you have assistance or not, but as dementia progresses, the intimacy whether physical and/or of ability to communicate and share becomes significantly compromised; and that is a difficult place to be.

    I do wonder if you have or can afford help in the home.  This may lead to your being able to get a bit of time to establish communications/connections and perhaps can get you out to different social groups that perhaps you may have an interest in such as a hiking group; a book reading group; a church group; going out for coffee or to eat groups, etc., you get the idea.  Being able to establish some social contacts may begin to "unthaw" the frozen dynamics you have been experiencing and making friends can open up the conversations and actually begin to establish becoming closer to some people for those personal conversations that has been lacking.

    If you have old friends or close relatives that have slipped into the background; that too can be someting to re-establish to make that personal connection.  If it is a more or less close sort of romantic connection you are missing, that would be a different sort of dynamic.  We have one Member here who has made honest connections on a dating site and has established open communications with women who understand his plight and are openly communicating with him.    Other Members permit themselves to go out to dinner with a person other than their spouse and some have established closer relationships with another who understands the dynamics.

    It can also be helpful as some Members have shared, to get some counseling to help one through the rough terrain and re-establish themselves and begin to find a way to meet their needs again.  It can be very comforting and give a good framework from which to begin to move forward for oneself.

    I would also suggest putting this important Post on the open Spousal/Partner Forum where it will not be lost in a social Thread such as this one; you will get much more input from other spouses that way and you deserve to be heard.

    You are important in all of what is happening too; I so hope you do not feel guilty for having a need to begin to reach out beyond where you are now caught in a sort of limbo - it is good that you are beginning to reach out for some experiential input and I send warmest thoughts your way. Let us know how you are doing, we will be thinking of you and we truly do care.

    J.

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,916
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Good morning Front Porch friends; I was going through some Yahoo information this morning after I logged off my email site, and found the following regarding how incorrectly cooking kidney beans can cause them to be toxic and make one very ill.  Some have mentioned using a slow cooker when cooking beans and evidently this cannot be safely done with kidney beans.

    I have never cooked kidney beans from scratch so little did I know that how one chooses to cook them can cause them to be toxic.  Some of you will know this, others may not, so here is a link on how to cook kidney beans so they are not toxic:

    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/kidney-beans-toxic-not-cooked-185604692.html

    Geeze, if it isn't one thing . . .

    J.

  • loveskitties
    loveskitties Member Posts: 1,078
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    I am heart broken over the shooting at the elementary school in Texas...those poor little children and their selfless teachers who tried to protect them.

    I have great grand children in elementary school here in Virginia.  Their doors are always locked.  Outsiders can only access one door, and that is after showing ID to camera and stating business need to enter.  I am so grateful for their safety rules.  

    It is impossible to understand why any person would want to kill these little ones.

    May God watch over these newest angels.

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,678
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    I’m a little behind today.

    Marie my heart is saddened too again. 

    Lorita sorry your gerbera  daisies haven’t come up.  

    My aunt made fried pies with biscuit dough.

    My zinnia seeds have already popped up.  Ground must be fairly warm. I planted basil and fennel seed direct too.  Have not done them before.  Be interesting to see what happens.

    Yes Jack and Zelda both are much better off even if he complains.  He knows his next meal will be there.  Realize though it’s hard losing your personal freedom.  

    Take care everyone.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,319
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    Member

    HI,

    I agree, Marie, it's so hard to understand why someone would or could do something like  that.  Their mind is just not right.  I don't know what this world is coming to.  Almost to the point that you don't feel safe getting out of your house.

    Sara,, where are you this morning?  I look forward to your early morning posts.  Are you enjoying your volunteer work and being back into a hospital setting?

    Another rainy morning.  It began just before I went out to feed to from.  While I was out Toad came to feed the girls.  So guess he's feeling better.  Before he cane I noticed the girls heading to the feeding area so they knew what day it is.

    Really didn't want to get up so stayed in bed until 7:10, then I was still  reluctant.  GPs stayed in, went out and are back in asleep.

    Still not feeling on top of the world - feel like I have a bug.  Not sure I should take the booster when I don't feel too well.

    Zetta, hope things are well with you.  Are Molly and Sammy enjoying the cool weather? You did have snow, didn't you?

    I'm using the new tablet and it sometimes changes words so if you all see a weird word,  please disregard it.  It just changed Zetta to Extra and Sara to Data.

    Haven't heard from Sarah in a couple of days.  She wants to have the surgery but Todd is not sure she should. Her quality of life is so poor now that she just wants to have the surgery and hope for a good outcome.  I think I agree with her.  Such a hard decision.  Life can be so hard - we all know that!

    I'll stop and be back later.



  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,678
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Lorita I went over to my mom’s early.  Took her groceries, put out the rest of her lobelia, weeded and trimmed on bed around house.  I’m so busy right now.  Got a few more things planted at my house too.

    I do like being back in hospital setting.  This time of year is always busy for me.  Work tomorrow.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more