Delusions

anita26

I am struggling with my mom. She has had mental health issues since her 20’s- diagnosed with schizophrenia in the 60’s. Who knows if that’s accurate, she refused to get any updated diagnosing since. Now she has AD mild stage diagnosed in 2019. She is taking Seroquel for the paranoid delusions and I thought they were helping but recently they have gotten worse again. I am her only caregiver and it is exhausting. She has rescued a cat unbeknownst to me and had it living in her closet for days because she thought neighbors were going to kill and eat the animal. She won’t let me put him back outside because he will be killed. So, now we have another cat who has a contagious disease and I’m trying to find a home for him despite her barricading her door and trying to keep me away.

I just don’t know what to do. We’ve upped her Seroquel dosage so I’m hoping that helps but she is so unreasonable and it’s hard to live with her. I’m kind of at my wits end. She is emotionally abusive and even claimed I physically harmed her yesterday.

Two weeks ago, she claimed I had some guy over late at night who stole her purse and had her credit cards. So, she started texting me at work to give her credit cards back. Later, I found her purse in a bathroom cabinet.

I don’t currently have any caregiver support. I have a call in for home care because I can’t afford assisted living. I guess I just wondered if anyone else was dealing with this or had tips on what I can do to make life easier for both of us? I don’t know what to do except cry. I have cancer and a full time job on top of all of this.

Carrie2023

anita26,

Sorry to hear all this, but you are not alone. This sounds so much like my life right now! Mom just started the Seroquel and for the past 2 nights...it has been wonderful (I hope it continues). She has made the same types of claims against me. I am the enemy because I won't let her live alone. Please consider speaking with an elder care attorney, I am awaiting a call back to get in to see someone now. Because my mom does not have money - except SS - and she has no assets, we can't afford to put her in a memory care facility. I want to apply for medicaid and that's the big reason for the elder care attorney. Medicaid is the most used resource for nursing home care. I'm sure you would love to have your mom live with you forever, but it sounds like you are struggling; especially with your own health. You have to take care of yourself first or you won't be able to help your mom. Soon enough, your mom may not be able to stay home alone, so please consider getting things in order now - for your sake. Take care, Carrie

anita26

Yeah I already did talk to an elder law attorney, unfortunately because my mom has an inheritance she doesn’t qualify for Medicaid yet so I put her on a wait list. The money has to run out first which is why I’m trying to get caregivers in the home first. She won’t go to a nursing home anyway. I don’t know how people get their parents to agree to that.

Rizzy

I’m mentally worn out as well, I feel your pain. My moms a narcissist and now has dementia. She lies always has. Had the police at my house after making up all kinda things. Told me she’s been done with me since I was 8 years old, I’ve been nothing but trouble. My husband has blood cancer, getting rdy to start chemo but the prognosis isn’t good. Last thing she said to me is he’s been nothing but trouble, I hope he dies. I’m just at a loss. Her dr is NO help. I’m at my wits end, she’s making my life just well not hardly worth living.

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espeery

My mother is currently living alone. She is very paranoid, thinks everyone is stealing things, out to get her etc. She will call us all hours of the night. The other day there were well over 50 calls to myself, the home phone, my sister, aunt, etc. I'm her primary care giver. I do not have the space for her to live with me, I still have kids at home, the youngest is 8. I'm struggling g with boundaries and sticking with them. She's still safe and dresses appropriately, but is such a nuisance to everyone, especially when she becomes paranoid.

prettyferalthing

First I have to say that I am so happy to have been able to find people also experiencing so much of this and learning to navigate it. It's so isolating and exhausting, but as nice as that is, boy do I wish none of us had to.

I'm dealing with both denial + anosognosia, as well as paranoia, delusions and hallucinations with my narcissistic mom. She was previously in assisted living but managed to convince her support worker to set up a new cognitive assessment. She must have been having a very good day because she managed (just barely) to convince the assessor that she is able to manage or at least to understand her finances to a degree where she could maybe manage them with help. The reassessment cost her her placement in the facility and because she had been deemed capable, she was going to be placed in a shelter. I allowed her to move in with me ONLY IF she agreed to work with me to find a new assisted living facility. She agreed that it was the best environment for her, while she doesn't believe she's experiencing symptoms now (she is), she knows that the disease will progress and her care needs will increase. She promised that she was happy to find somewhere as long as she liked it.

Fast forward 2 months and she is now convinced that she went to another assessment where she was told she doesn't have Alzheimer's and her diagnosis was in error. She also believes the dean of her former university was driving around, hours from the university, trying to find her and they bumped into each other (on my front porch - where she doesn't sit alone or ever). She says he asked her to attend an alumni gala with him, promised to come pick her up, and was pleading with her to come instruct at the university because they need people as smart as her to teach.

She keeps asking why everyone wants to take away her as POA legal right to make her own choices and saying she will DIE if we put her in a box. Meanwhile I am putting as many supports in place for her as I can and contacting lawyers asking for advice. I am terrified to exercise her POA in case it isn't valid. I need confirmation of its validity because we couldn't get her to make one until she was doing it to avoid having a court appointed govt trustee - which is the situation she was in previously. I am more afraid of HER contesting it than anyone else, not because she doesn't want me as her power of attorney, she is happy that she has made me POA and says there is no reason for anyone to contest the POA, she KNOWS who she wants and it's me. But, if she disagrees with something I do, she will attempt to undo it by saying that she wasn't capable of signing it. At one point she believed she had decided to sell her house and contracted a real estate agent, she called me worried and wanting to stop the sale; attacking the validity of the contract on the basis that she could not legally agree to it was her plan. That this could result in criminal charges against me would NOT occur to, OR bother her. It also would not occur to her that this would result in her having a court appointed trustee assigned to her AGAIN because NO WAY would my siblings be willing to deal with her.

🤦 Good luck to me convincing her she needs assisted living now.