Sobering development

jfkoc

M1...get the 6-8 inch wheels so you can really walk outside. Do you Netflix? Better call Saul.....lots of episodes.

mommyandme (m&m)

So glad you got home. Hope you’re feeling better every day!

M1

Judith I started breaking bad and never got that far, maybe time to revisit and follow it with Saul. Basically just being told to be patient and live through it.

saw my partner briefly today, she looked awful, had fallen again, black and blue and very confused. I feel so bad for not being there. Hate feeling so helpless on so many fronts.

jfkoc

Not having "control" is really hard to live with. When our body betrays us? Ugh!!! I am dealing with a concussion on top of some balance issues. Nothing serious just having to be very careful and to pace myself. It is truly annoying and frustrating.

I did not like Breaking Bad. Loved Better Call Saul. Give it a try. The older brother character is unexplainable.

Your visiting will not stop your partner from falling which is sad. Your visits became periods of happy finally for both of you. Without them more sadness. Sometimes it is next to impossible to find the pony in the room. all I can suggest is acceptance and diversion.

Please continue to update often. Sharing/chating here can help.

-Judith

Iris L.

When I was on bed rest I was too ill for entertainment such as TV or puzzles. I slept! Sleep is important because healing occurs while we sleep. Don't hesitate to sleep. Soon you will be out of bed and back to visiting.

Iris

Marta

Any update from the visit with your internist?

M1

Hi Marta, not a lot, just to live through it, more or less. No idea how long it will take for the shortness of breath to resolve.

I went to see my partner briefly yesterday after the appointment--it was close by--and she looked awful. Had fallen again, black and blue. Turns out her kidney function is worsening, which makes managing her pain medications all the harder, and she is anemic. We may be on a steep downward slide here. I am desperate to be there. Change is afoot--I am not going to go back to work, which is sad in a way, but will free me up a lot. I just need to be by her side as much as I can, as soon as I can.

Ed1937

I'm sorry your career is ending. That has to be hard, but you know what is best all around. And I'm sorry she appears to be progressing. I know that's hard to witness. I'm hoping the shortness of breath is short lived, but please don't overdo it trying to visit her. You have to be your first concern now. Prayers still on the menu.

Caro_Lynne

Thanks for the update M1. Being short of breath must be difficult and scary; I can only imagine. Sorry to hear about your partner; may God be with her and you. In my opinion your decision to stop working is what you need to do, for yourself and your partner. Have faith that things will be as they were meant to be.

mrahope

I've been following your progress and wishing you well. So many tough things going on all at once: your illness, partner's decline and loss of your career position. Even breathing is hard...my heart just goes out to you. I don't actually know what this is like, except that I know your "heart" (the psychological one) is in the right place and that has to count in your favor. Convalescence can be a hard, irritating road, but there is no other way. Please allow yourself to do only what you can. Praying for your continued recovery.

toolbeltexpert

M1 I am so sorry, I really understand not being there. Take care of you. Sorry to hear about the falls your dw has had. We all hate to hear this.

ButterflyWings

(((M1)))

Rocky2

M1, I'm sorry that you have so many changes to deal with simultaneously. As you know, my DW and I are also working through many rapid and impactful events. I trust that your retirement will afford you needed time to rest and, as your health allows, to attend to your partner.

Rest and heal. Prayers continue for you both.

Tom

Elshack

M 1, Does your dear companion qualify for hospice? My DH is in memory care and has been on hospice since Jan. They give him a shower 2x a week and memory care does 1x a week. The hospice workers really know how to deal with dementia patients. A Nurse checks him out 1x a week and a social worker sees him every couple of weeks. They help to alleviate some of the load of the memory care staff. I can identify with how dejected and helpless you feel when you see and /or hear that she has fallen again. My DH had fallen at least 10 times and had horrible bruises on his arms etc. They would call me to tell me he had fallen and would do that even if it was 1:30 in the morning. I asked them to please wait until 8:30 since there was nothing I could do about it and would just be up all night worrying. Thankfully and miraculously he has not fallen in the past 2 months.

I hope and pray you can take care of yourself and try to rest. Of course since you are an MD you know how important that is. It is very difficult to live a day at a time but if I don't follow that mantra, I can get very anxious worrying about what will happen in the future. Know there are alot of people on this site that are thinking about you and care for you. You have always been so supportive to others. I pray for you to feel better.

M1

Elshack i am considering asking for a hospice assessment. I think it's probably time. This week may tell. Thank you for all the support.

Denise1847

Hi M1,

Sending prayers your way for strength and comfort.

MN Chickadee

The last 6 months of my mother's decline from Alz were a flurry of health challenges for my dad as well, complicating everything for both of them. When it rains it pours. Doesn't sound like she could tolerate iron infusions or even more appointments with specialists. I'm terribly sorry this is all happening at once. I hope you are able to spend some time with her this week.

Marta

Dear M1: keep putting your troubles here and we’ll help you carry them.

Beachfan

So true, Marta! I have a little framed saying, “Before you go to bed each night, give all your troubles to God. He’ll be up all night anyway.” Thinking of you, M1, praying for you and your DW. You have had a long, hard road. It’s just not fair.

Joydean

M1, praying you are getting a little better and getting some rest. Praying for you dear partner too.. you are always so helpful and kind to others hoping you will be kind to yourself now. So sorry about the falls your partner is having. Hospice might be the right help she needs for now. God’s blessings for both of you and honestly for all of us on this horrible journey.

Jeff86

How very overwhelming, M1. The sponge is full—cannot absorb more! Wish there were tangible steps we could take to help you. What we can do is walk this road beside you. Know we are holding you and your partner in our hearts as you deal with a plate that is beyond full.

Jo C.

Dear M1, so much of too much and I am truly sorry for all that is coming down on you all at once. You have much insight and knowledge due to your profession, but that does not make it easier for one's feelings or energy level. It may a positive for Hospice to assess your Partner for possible services. She is still very high functioning and whether she fits admission criteria or not would be left to be seen. Not all Hospices are equal for who is accepted into service. If one does not accept, a different Hospice may do so. This is something that other Members have described on the Forums.

It certainly would be good to have extra eyes, ears and hands in a one on one sort of dynamic focusing solely on the quality of life and care for your Partner as their mission.

Many times a Hospice will accept a person into service even if it is a bit "iffy" for admission criteria, at least for the first certification period and then reassess. (The first certification period is for 90 days, the second is also for 90 days, followed by unlimited certification periods of 60 days.)

If there is anything any of us can do to be of assistance in any way, please let us know. We are here, we are listening, we are keeping up with your Posts, and we care.

J.

White Crane

Dear M1, i’m so sorry your partner is declining. It sounds like this is a good time to call in hospice for assessment. I know it’s hard especially with your own health problems. If hospice comes on board they will offer a lot of assistance for her. I’m hoping you can get some rest. Praying for your breathing to get better. Prayers and hugs.

Brenda