Mom thinks I’m wearing a mask

PurpleFinch

Hi all! For the past few months my mom has made comments about how I am not her daughter although I look like her. She has made comments about me wearing such a good mask because I look so much like her daughter. She also says that her daughter hates her and does not want to be around her so I cannot be her daughter when I visit. I was hoping this was just a phase that would last a few weeks as some of her other behaviors/unusual thoughts. However, it just seems to be getting worse. She did not want to be alone with me when I visited her this week because I wasn’t her “real” daughter… has anyone else experienced this with their LO?

terei

Not recognizing loved ones is very very common for PWD. I would just go along with her delusion ‘well, I am visiting in her place this week’ and change the subject.

annmariev

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67371/mom-thinks-i-m-wearing-a-mask

It’s so hard..& emotionally draining

Have you tried to recall pleasant times or an event you shared with your mom ? Photos?

my greatest fear is when my mom does not know me ..I have been her primary caregiver

terei

This is not uncommon. The best course is to just say that daughter is away (vacation) + you are helping out while she is gone. Use any excuse for her absence that she will accept.

Ci2Ci

Yup. I had to move my mother to SNF-MC because she started more and more to have this imposter syndrome, even thinking that I was a kidnapper. It became dangerous for us both, and others. (She once had an episode of this while I was driving at high speed on interstate, and thus tried to escape the car --> grab the steering wheel / gear shift --> knock me unconscious with her cane.)

Consider that in your mother's mind, you are likely a teenager or younger. So, your adult appearance does not match your mother's expectation of you. If you can be content to be your mother's "longtime friend" (try to alter your appearance if need be???), if she will accept that explanation, probably the best path forward. Resort to phone visits, if it gets dangerous for her/you/others.

My mother now has lost about the last 40 years of memory -- now stuck in ~1980. (I try to determine her timeline right away so that I know how to play along.) However, she can think that I am a teenager while at the same time knowing that she is 88 years old. It seem also sometimes thinking that I am a teenager while discussing my life as an adult. Competing/conflated facts. Dementia defying logic.

SusanB-dil

Also agreeing with what's posted. My mom thinks I am her younger sister. Due to family resemblance, she has mistaken me for her. She will say 'HI T, how are things...' umm, well, ok... I can only go with 'Oh, just fine, how are you today?' The first time that happened was a shock. I got used to it, especially since we never were close, and she's nicer to me now that I am 'sis'. Go figure.

MIL isn't sure how I fit in these days. She screamed at us one night... 'You're not HER, and you are not even his...' as she pointed to her son, my DH. When it happened again, a bit different way, we realized she knows I am not DH first wife, who passed away Feb 2000. She has also asked "WHAT are YOU doing here??" I came up with: 'I'm here to help L a bit, is that ok' she answered 'I GUESS!'

'this' is truly bizarre. Some days more than others.