Early onset VD/Alzhiemer’s

riverqueen

Hi all, glad I found this community. I haven’t met anyone I can relate to about my situation and it would be nice to have someone to talk to that understands.

I brought my mother to the hospital the day before her 59th birthday because she was barely able to walk, could only move one eye, stroke-like symptoms. When she woke up after being admitted, she thought my brother and I were her siblings… she hadn’t shown signs of dementia prior to this- it was an overnight change. her memory slowly improved over her 3 day stay, but she was stage 4. However, due to her age, the hospital discharged her and said there was nothing wrong with her.

Three neurologists later, she was diagnosed with EO VD in Dec. 2022. I have been handling 100% of her care myself this entire time… I’m 28. I have a brother but he is only 24 and does not the capacity to handle the situation. Our closest family lives about 1000 miles away and will come visit once or twice a year, but that is all.

It’s very lonely and my mom is declining rapidly. It’s so difficult for me to be patient with her… she lives in a retirement community in independent living. I go check on her every day. I applied for SSD for her in Jan. 2023 and they haven’t reached a decision yet, but she can’t afford AL or a sitter… I know she will need AL soon, and I’m worried about finances. It’s very stressful and it’s starting to affect my physical health. She is turning 61 next week, and every program in my area for seniors is age 65 and up. I’ve even asked some if they’ll make an exception in this case, but they refused.

Are there any other resources for her? She will need full time care soon. I’m scared.

kblau

is it possible this can qualify her for Medicaid?

M1

Welcome to the forum, im sorry you have so much on your plate at such a young age. Have you consulted an attorney about her SSDI status and Medicaid qualifications? Sounds like it might be well worth it at this point, that kind of delay is uncalled for. You can find certified elder law attorneys at nelf.org. it also might be worth a call to your local Alzheimer's Association chapter and Council on Aging to see if they know of other resources she might be eligible for.

Hang in there, This forum can be tremendous support. She is fortunate to have you in her corner.

mabelgirl

I am sorry you are in this situation. You are, in my lowly opinion, too young to be taking on this challenge. You have a life to live and your mom would want you to live it. Please research resources to help you through this. As mentioned above elder services such as area agency on aging or your county elder affairs office. Inform yourself google things like familial law, elder services , long term care assistance, etc .. I couldn’t afford an elder attorney and thus I had to do a lot of researching and asking. I’m older and retired thus had time to do so.

Prayers that God sends you some help.

Emily 123

riverqueen,

Agree with what the others have said. Your mom's early disease will likely count as a disability and she'd be eligible for Medicaid.

Your mother's healthcare provider can write a referral for a social worker, as well. They would, hopefully, help start you on the right track for getting your mom's care needs met and help you navigate the system. They may even be able to work as a care manager for her.

https://www.helpstartshere.org/serving-clients-in-a-geriatric-case-manager-or-private-fiduciary-role/