New to this forum. Diagnosed over 4 years ago

Grammellow

Not sure if this is the place to introduce myself; but I had Encephalitis twice - from West Nile Virus and Powassan Virus AND Lyme Disease 7 times. Dr. told me the viruses started this ball rolling. I was doing well, dealing with changes in my life, except not driving. I haven't accepted that well. I've been going between being fine with everything and even joking about funny things I say and do.... to days when I can't cope. Currently, I'm severely depressed (taking three antidepressants). Dr. Wanted to add a fourth and I said no. I take several other meds for autoimmune disorders stemming from Lupus which made me blind. I have a hard time not feeling sorry for myself and I really want to die. My most depressing concern is that I have lost all my friends and family. I'm between stages four and five, yet everyone I know (EXCEPT MY HUSBAND) tells me there is nothing wrong with me. I dread being around anyone for that reason, yet I am very lonely. I live in the middle of nowhere and can't find any sort of transportation except one transport company that charges $350 to pick me up, drive me to an appointment, and bring me back home. That doesn't include grocery shopping or a walk in the park or anything. I've hinted to friends that I'm hating going nowhere. They don'[t offer to help me out - people whom I have done things for and helped for five decades. i DID ASK two of my closest friends to give me rides, both of them said they would have to check their calendars and get back to me. Neither of them did. Is this normal to lose all your friends and have your family shun you? The diagnosis is bad enough with the fear, not sleeping, falling down and all that goes with Alzheimer's but to lose all contact with humans was very unexpected and my heart is broken. I can't make new friends, since I never leave my house. I order anything I need from Amazon. I need encouragement. I pray, I mail 60 hand made cards a month with encouraging stories or poems or jokes, I text everyone I know on their birthdays to wish them a happy day. I went to a therapist twice and she quit. I will have to wait a year to see someone new. And my neurologist also quit. I got an appointment with a new one ... for a year from September. IT'S BECOMING NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO TAKE ALL THIS IN STRIDE. I keep a journal in which I write everyday 3 things that happened and I enjoyed or appreciated. Trying to be positive. I read books that encourage peace and gratitude, etc. I watch uplifting TV shows. I cant go for walks, since I have no one to walk with and I get lost if I go alone. I had a dog that was my life. He helped me to stay upbeat - but he died from a disease caused by a tick bite. My husband refuses to allow me to get another one, since he doesn't want to "be stuck with it" when I move to a nursing home. He is not supportive at all, he rarely speaks to me - in denial I guess. He still works full time at 75 years old, so I only see him when he eats supper. He stares at his plate and won't answer when I ask him about his day, etc. and he yells at me when I accidentally leave a light on. I pray daily that God will please let me die. Sorry, I've written too much and complained too much. If anyone has a suggestion on how to crawl up out of this depression, I'd appreciate hearing ideas.............

Iris L.

Welcome to our online support group, Grammellow. May I call you Gram? Everything you mention I have been through. I mean being abandoned by friends and being isolated. I found my community on these boards. There used to be many more people posting.

You did not mention having a diagnosis of dementia or being evaluated for dementia. The strange thing is, major depression can exhibit the same signs and symptoms as dementia. But the difference is that major depression is treatable.

Some people with major depression will require a comprehensive treatment plan. This can involve finding the right anti-depressant, because there are several different classes of antidepressants that target different neurotransmitters. A board certified psychiatrist should know about these medications.

Talk therapy with a knowledgeable psychotherapist can improve your self-confidence. Additional strategies, such as exercise, eating an anti-depression diet and avoiding empty calories, and maintaining socialization will all help.

Your county should be able to direct you to mental health services. There are mental health services available online. I would suggest that you also consider speaking with a Care Consultant at the Alzheimer's Association. The Care Consultants know how to get help for you. They can advise you. It doesn't matter if you have a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease or not, they can help you. There is no charge for their help. You can call the Helpline number at 1-800-272-3900 and ask to speak with a Care Consultant. One is available 24 hours a day.

Hang in there, Gram. I am here every day. I don't have a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease, but I do have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment not otherwise specified. I struggle, but I will never give up! I have been in a deep depression, and I came out of it. In fact, I am in a depression right now, but I am getting myself out of it.

Have you heard of forest bathing? It is a method of appreciating nature and gaining physical and mental benefit from nature. The nature does not have to be a forest, but any natural environment. In forest bathing, you learn to experience nature via all of your senses, vision, hearing, smell and touch. You sound like you live in the country. I hope you can do this safely.

Is there a local senior center? Many have activities and socialization. Some offer a low cost lunch. Look around for activities. I know it is hard to get started. Please post again and let me know how you are doing.

Iris

nanetteshapiro

I was diagnosed with probable Alzheimers. I definitely have short term memory loss. I worry everything will deteriorate from here on in. I can still drive/find my way around and hike in the mountains. I would love to have others sufferering from the same fears and symptoms.