I have So Many Questions..

NickiJae

Hi

My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She has visual and auditory hallucinations. She is very suspicious of people and even think everyone is trying to kill her. We moved her from independent living to assisted living and she was not happy about it at all. We had to keep her safe and get her more help because she has a knee replacement and refuses to do any physical therapy. She is refusing meds, won't eat and barley drinks. She is non compliant with everything. She can't go on like this.

We haven't mentioned the diagnosis. She considers them dreams. I have a couple questions.

Should she be told she has this diagnosis ?

When she is hallucinating do we say it's not real?

It becomes so much that she will spam call our phone at all times of the night about something that isn't happening. Do we answer or ignore?

We would like to move her to a memory care facility but they are so expensive and she does not have medicaid. Are there funding resources?

Thanks to anyone who has some advice.

M1

Welcome to the forum, you have a lot to deal with. Have you talked to an elder law attorney about getting her qualified for Medicaid? That needs to be done, and if you don't already have it you also need durable power of attorney for healthcare and finances.

medication may help with the hallucinations and paranoia, you should talk to her doctors about prescription of an atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal. Rexulti is a newer one but much more expensive and not necessarily better than the older drugs.

probably time to take her phone away if it's more harm than help. I would not tell her the diagnosis or that her hallucinations are not real, it will only make her defensive. You don't try to reason with someone whose brain is broken.

H1235

Welcome! I agree with M1. If she needs more care than AL the money is going to go fast. You will probably not have much choice but to get her qualified for Medicaid. You will need to find out if Medicaid will cover memory care in your state and if family is expected to contribute any difference. It may depend on the facility. If this is going to be a problem you may need to consider a nursing home. Then you need to decide do you go with MC then move to her to a nursing home or just straight to the nursing home. Lots to consider. Good luck.