Needing to move mother to memory care

bdkimball

92 yo mother has been in assisted living for 18 months. Over the last year she has had more episodes of confusion and disordered sleep. She often refuses to dress for bed and will wander the hallway at night - we have an upcoming care meeting and I expect that they will say she needs to move to the memory care unit. We have an upcoming meeting with her neurologist to see if there is anything we can do with her medication to help, though I am not optimistic.

I'm worried about how to handle this transition. Any suggestions for questions for the doctor or how to handle explaining to Mom that she will be moving to a new room and she will notice that her activity is more restricted?

sandwichone123

In general, less is better as far as explanations. You can tell her they're painting her place so she'll have to stay in a new one for a while, or something like that. By the time they're having trouble dressing and doing the daily routine, you may not even need that much of a story—just that "they" are moving her, and the new room is lovely. You could also change the subject on to moving in general, and talk about how much work it was when your family moved when you were growing up or something.

terei

The painting excuse is a good one. The less explanations, the better. Frankly, she may not even notice that she has been moved. Caregivers need to try to avoid projecting how THEY would feel in circumstances, in this case, YOU think you would feel restricted, but don’t assume that your mother’s damaged mind is going to feel that way. Try not to explain things in advance…have answers ready if she questions the move, but otherwise ignore the change unless she questions it.