A Cautionary Tale: Details Emerging About Hackman's Death

harshedbuzz

I'll put a trigger warning here. This is difficult reading.

It has been determined that Gene Hackman died from cardiovascular disease and Alzheimer's a full week after his wife succumbed to Hantavirus. She was among the oft quoted 1/3 of caregivers who died before their LO. Friends describe his wife as fit, healthy and 3 decades younger than her husband.

This is a reminder that caregivers need to have someone looking out for them regularly as well as a solid Plan B.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/gene-hackman-and-wife-s-causes-of-death-revealed/ar-AA1AtI0V?ocid=widgetonlockscreenwin10&cvid=e761510e19a449f88896c72d2af783b4&ei=17

Anna2022

So true, @harshedbuzz

It is such a tragic story.

White Crane

this is so tragic. And a good reminder for all of us to have a Plan B. Thanks for posting.

Chris20cm

This is such an important thing. One of the problems with being a good caregiver is the rest of the family and friends think since the LO is in good hands, they don't have to worry. This is especially true if they know the caregiver is diligent about self care in terms of health, exercise and nutrition. Dasha Kiper's book "Travelers to Unimaginable Lands" offers some excellent insights regarding caregiver challenges.

loveskitties

It is also important to have some kind of daily communication set up with others so that no great time elapses, as in this case a week, where the PWD is left "alone". It doesn't take but a minute to call to say all is AOK. It would be good if there was some kind of community "check-in" set up so that those who live alone and those who are caregivers could have a safety net. An alert for a wellness check by the police could go out to make sure no problems.

Biggles

That sounds like a very practical idea. My daughter checks on us most days, our son lives 1500kl away so that’s hard, we have SOS watches etc but you still feel alone with this 24/7 thing.

Quilting brings calm

I’ve been thinking about this too. It’s so sad that they had no one checking on them.

harshedbuzz

@loveskitties

In reading a couple articles about this, it seems like they really kept to themselves. Trades people who worked for them regularly claimed that most of their interactions were by phone or text. There was speculation that perhaps she was protecting him against illness as she was masked whenever out in public. Or maybe she didn't want his diagnosis shared.

My experience with a police well check wasn't helpful. I suppose it typically is.

When dad was still undiagnosed (for a decade because mom blew my concerns off) but clearly in the middle stages, there phones went unanswered for 2 days. They were over 1000 miles away in FL and I did check in most days. I knew mom wasn't feeling well and then dad started to report that she was fine— off shopping or at the pool. When I called the local police non-emergency line for a well check, they called me back to tell me they'd talked to dad and that he was fine and mom was at the pool. The bit about the pool was pure confabulation— I found out mom was in the hospital in liver failure when the hospital called me the next day.

HB

Quilting brings calm

@harshedbuzz

I agree about the welfare check. We had a great deal of trouble convincing a police officer to check on our son when 1). We hadn’t heard from him for over 36 hours and 2) he didn’t show up or call off work and 3) had an established medical condition. It took his boss telling the police that he was his most dependable worker and had never just not shown up for work to get them to go into the apartment. Nick had passed in his sleep.

Timmyd

Like many people, this story really impacted me. I have come to think the story is a bit of an outlier. They lived on an estate within a gated community and were rarely seen by neighbors. She was fully committed to keeping his ALZ out of the news and to keep him from any communicable illness. This is probably why they were not using paid care givers. Her commitment to privacy is understandable given who he was and I am impressed at how effective she carried it out.