My husband has MCI and blind on rt side.

cindie-san

He’s has Mild Vascular Neuro Cognitive Dementia. I’m exhausted. And I Cry.

cindie-san

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73169/my-husband-has-mci-and-blind-on-rt-side

harrisonro

I can relate! My wife is having difficulty and sometimes, as her primary caregiver, I can “lose it!” I must remind myself all the time that it is not her fault.

cindie-san

There is so much responsibility for me. I take care of everything but he has his chores😊 which I’m thankful for.
He gets so mad at me when I try to tell him something and it sounds like I’m angry.
I have to be so careful.

And it takes 3 or so times to have him come in for dinner when he’s in the garage.

cindie-san

we are supposed to leave at 5pm it’s now 4:18. I got his clothes ready. He’s walking to the garage. I said we need to leave @ 5 and it’s important. He said 2x “I hear you”.

This happens all the time. No gage of time. I say the serenity prayer to myself over and over. I know it’s his brain. It’s so hard. We pd 150.00 for this fundraiser.

l7pla1w2

It's really hard to keep PWD on-task, I discovered. I always allowed extra time, and I found I had to stand around in nag mode to be sure DW got ready. Even then, it seemed she always had to pee. After she finished dressing, she would then need to pee, which, of course, entailed partially undressing. Once she got downstairs, she had to pee again before we could leave. If she got distracted for some reason and we didn't leave right away, she'd have to pee again. And pee at the destination.

"Serenity now!"

Jazzma

cindi-san, my daughter offered to get me a pin that says "I cry: it's what I do" to wear in public.

SDianeL

not understanding days, dates and time is one of the first behaviors many with dementia have. Please read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which really helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Search online for Tam Cummings caregiving videos which also help. Search online for the 7 stages of dementia chart that lists behaviors in each stage. It will prepare you for what may be the next behaviors to surface. Someone posted here that “ you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken” and that was what I repeated to myself all throughout the day. It helped me control my temper.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244490#Comment_244490

Everything changes, your normal routines are out the window. My husband was an incredible handyman. I’m the handyman now (YouTube videos). All responsibilities and decisions are mine to make. I don’t discuss problems like our truck needs a front end alignment. I will just schedule the appt and get it done. I will get my husband ready for an appt and he keeps asking where we are going, he dawdles around. Some I cancel. You will eat yourself alive if you don’t learn to let it go and readjust you, because he isn’t who he used to be. It’s not easy. We all have days where we cry.

tonyac2

It feels like I’ve been thrown into a foreign country and don’t know the language or culture. Trottingalong is right about readjusting and letting go. I’m in charge of everything and at the same time I’m not, depending upon his mood, meltdowns, and behavior. His disease makes it hard, or makes it easy - I never know which one I’m going to get. My DH is in a wheelchair which most often is sad and limiting, but at times a benefit as I can steer him where I want him to go. I’ve given up telling him in advance of appointments as it gets stuck in his brain and he’ll yell that we’re late, or let’s go! Readjusting my brain to his situation and letting go are my goals.

cindie-san

I get a lot out of how people cope💙

cindie-san

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244493#Comment_244493

that happens to me too. Thank You

cindie-san

You are right on here. It’s the acceptance and still trying to have a normal life.

I have a hard physically right now. So it’s a balancing act. But sharing does help. Thanks