Just need to talk to my friends (195)

good morning

Good morning Rockers.

Iris I'm so glad that you checked in. Did you have a very stormy night? When you were in Dallas you were within 45 minutes of us! I wish I would have known, would have been fun to meet briefly. Next time.

Waiting for Lorita to check in.

eagle

That is great news David! Hope the meds work.

Lorita and Judith are referring to the trial in NY? If so, how are you watching it? I'm following it o twitter.

CaroLynne…MSNBC…I like their experts…mostly experienced attorneys

David… good news

Good news David.

Received a call from the nurse and Lou will not be coming home till next Monday. Still working on her medicine, will do more lab Saturday, have results Sunday and discharge her Monday. I was told the dr will put in a order for hospice home health. I miss my wife!

Ron

Lorita hope the storms quit messing with your sleep schedule soon. I’m glad you’re safe and hope everyone else is too.

the yard got mowed yesterday by the people I hired. My sister says it looks really good that they did a very nice job. I’m so thankful. I hated her house looking like that. The guy that my mom asked to marry her several years back, he’s very sick now. But, his son and him help mom with anything they can help her with and are really nice to her. So they cut down a small tree that she wanted cut down and they resowed the grass and everything. The son does it at his dads is no longer able. I took straw with me yesterday evening to put down on it but I forgot. They’re giving rain and it could be heavy possibly this evening so soon as I get my lunch ate I’m gonna run over there and put the straw down. She said his son tells her to call if she needs anything. He brings her treats too. Usually a small little pie of some sort.

JeriLynne hope you are doing OK this morning. HB you’ve been quiet for a day or two to hope you’re OK also.

I found two or three zinnias up this morning so that encourages me, I’ve planted several. I see one Mexican sunflower has made it up. I still have quite a few seeds to put out if I find the time. Planted one more tomato plant and I think that’s probably all the tomatoes plants I will have . I have four tomato plants and two peppers. I have been eating lettuce and cilantro that I am growing. Should have some onions pretty soon. They are giving it sort of cool this weekend, so I’m kind of waiting and holding off to plant my flower plants. The tomatoes, peppers and watermelon that I put out earlier have back ups inside in case they would get killed. I don’t have any back ups for my flower plants. They’re not giving it low enough to kill anything right now but you know how that goes.

wrote this at lunch and forgot to post it.

I did get the straw put down and the guys did a great job that mowed, I’m so happy. The only thing they don’t know what to do with is the garden, and I don’t know what to do with it either. Not gonna get into explaining why, too complicated. I completed weeding and mulching the west side around her house today and I started on the northside and I probably have a fourth of that done. I’m gonna have to take a break for a few days though because my back is feeling stiff.

This has been such a fantastic trip! We have gone to so many interesting places. I started to post on the bus but the reception was weak. We had a tour of the Lodge where Pioneer Woman is filmed. What a place! It started out as as housing for university people doing agricultural research in the 1960s - 1980s. Then it became housing for ranch hands until the show started in 2010. Here are a few photos.

Two sets of stoves

Farmhouse sink

Family picture

Iris

Hello again Friends. I tried to read a bit but only made it to the Porch. A (not so) quick update before I fall in the bed.

Judith, you were not blunt. You were giving your best advice. And I appreciate it. Mint, I re-read your post several times and you also were right.

I do have a clear picture of my FIL's wishes as he has long had a Living Will, a signed Alabama Natural Death Act and more recently with his move to AL, an activated DNR.

My struggle is probably more with ME than with him. He was never "close" to his son, my late husband. They just didn't see eye to eye on many things, but they loved each other. Given that, FIL and I were never close. They lived away. We were raising children, etc. But when his son died, I was left with both a legal and moral obligation as POA to someone I didn't really have relationship with. I've worked hard to get closer, but by the time FIL came to us in 2020, he was already showing signs of dementia. In fact, I'm the one who took away his keys because DH, his son would not. He wasn't safe anymore. And he was already showing signs of lack of empathy. He pouted because DH was taking chemo and radiation so didn't feel up to ferrying him 25 miles one way to the Senior Center. Then he chose to go to the facility where he had friends and "be around people my own age". Made sense to me and I was trying (again) to deal with and fix the unfixable. DH with Stage IV lung cancer.

All that to say: DH left me with a job to care for his father. And, I'm a fighter. If you're my family (or my patient for that matter), I will not back down until I get the answers, get you what you need and do every single thing I can to take care of you. So, that's why I had to ask the questions. Thank you all for your support and care. You've really helped make this more bearable. I took care of both my parents, my DH and now FIL. So, this isn't really unfamiliar ground - but it's different to me because the relationship is different.

So, we made it to the SNF last evening late. Today was first day of evals. PT, OT, Speech, Recreation and Dietary. The Staff commented that FIL "perked up and performed better" when I stepped forward to reinforce their instructions. He's still confused. But pleasantly so until he has to urinate. He doesn't understand the whole diaper thing and not strong enough to stand without a two person assist. And the urinal doesn't work either. So he gets agitated. But today, I didn't deal with that. I went and got the Nurse. And I explained, " I'll wipe his butt, but I will NOT hold his penis for him to urinate, you'll have to deal with that... That crosses my boundary." And they smiled and said they understood.

Got him settled. Went over his orders with the Nursing Staff. Got his clothes in the closet. Rearranged his furniture so he could see his ALZ clock. And left $50 worth of candy and treats at the nursing station.

Then: I got a mani/pedi. Then: I went to see my Counselor that I haven't seen in over a year. We talked about guilt, frustration, forgiveness and Jesus. And I'm better.

And we'll get up and do it again tomorrow. The best we can. Thank you again, truly from the bottom of my heart.

WOW!!!

Hello to everyone. Have been reading, but was not able to Post due to some technical glitch, but it finally seems fixed. Have been reading and keeping up, especially re our friends in the "weather" concerning territories. Sounds like thus far, everyone is doing alright. We here in SoCal are of course in the usual weather. Very nice spring time temps - a gift before the boiling days of summer hit us.

JeriLynn, I am so sorry for all that is happening; it must be so deeply concerning. If only we had a magic wand . . . . no matter what, those evals can be helpful in placing a bit more insight on matters. So much happening; perhaps in time, as things settle, there will be a bit better adaptation. That sort of dynamic was part of my step-dad's outcomes. Yours may need adjustment to treatment plan or perhaps an evaluation and possible adjustment to meds to help things along as changes evolve.

One thing that drove me a bit batty . . . there I was; RN with Masters Degree, tons of hands-on clinical experience, Administrator of Patient Case Management, and yet . . . unable to make a difference in my LO's condition. One thing: RN or not, no one has given us a crystal ball. Drats! You are doing the right things and all the evals will help paint a bit clearer picture. I always ensured that if at all able, all was done to rehab what could be done. Often, it was surprising at how that positively responded, but sometimes sadly not. We never know. Sure wish for a crystal ball . . . . .

Best to have all eval's done and then make a choice for setting - and of course, that setting can be changed as your LO moves forward. We never know how things will evolve and that can be surprising.

Ortho Units in acute settings are geared for action and short stays - surgery - and then up and at 'em and discharge or transfer asap. Sometimes was surprised patients weren't given rocket ski's for their backsides so they could be slid at warp speed down the stairwells!

Ron; I am glad to hear Lou was going home on a Monday. I never liked patients with issues or flexing needs to go home on a Friday or weekend day. If something should arise at home, it is hard to get the help one needs across a weekend and to even get one's own MD on the phone until Monday rolls around. On call knows nothing and it leaves us fairly bare. As for the Speech Therapy not coming on a Sunday; in most facilities, there is no PT, OT, ST, on weekends. Some may do Saturdays, but in many settings; especially non-acute, the weekends are empty. Never made sense to me. If one belongs to an HMO, that can be different depending on the HMO and their contracts as they have a mission to save bed days and get the patient discharged asap; it is about saving the HMO costs.

Mint; you are a lovely person and a very dear daughter to your mother. She is certainly blessed to have you as her daughter. You are working hard keeping all going under trying circumstances; I am really impressed.

Lorita, oh my; please stay safe in all the tornado warnings. You are pretty good with all of that. Just wish you had a bit more option other than the bathroom, but you are doing all the right things. Will be glad when all that passes away from your area.

David, it is good to hear that thing appear to be doing better; I hope that the med adjustment works well and makes a big positive difference for you.

My own response to the meds I now take due to new onset of fibrosis is not the happiest. Side effects include weakness and feelings of "BLAH!" So not me, but yes, now me. Have a lot more adjusting to do. As my kids said, it doesn't affect the mind and I am still perking full on that, so I must remember to be thankful for that. I am, but I do miss the "old me," but DH is quick to remind me that I AM an "old" me. So quick with the compliments; but that is okay, I will catch him with a good one soon. Helps to keep laughing. Or sometimes just cackling . . . . he is nine days older than me and his birthday is on the 19th, so he is older than me for nine days until I catch up and then I have to shut up. If he just stuffs some birthday cake in my mouth, it will have same effect but be more pleasant.

Ron; I will be watching closely for your Posts; you are on my mind and I care very much. Big hug being sent to a fine person who is like the never ending warrior under heavy circumstances. Hope things move along well and hope you can get some assistance and rest for yourself, I think that would help so much and it sounds as though it is time. Please remember to take care of you too.

Well; off I go, it is now almost 8:00 p.m. PST. Time to get to some things before bed. Wishing a good sleep and lovely dreams for everyone.

J.

Morning

Good morning rockers.

It's gray here with a thunderstorm in the area. Things should clear up later this morning.

David— that is wonderful news that you aren't dealing with Parkinson's.

Ron— You must really be looking forward to having your dear Lou back home. I hope adding hospice to your team makes the day-to-day care a bit easier going forward.

Iris— I'm glad you enjoyed the trip. Those pictures of the kitchen are amazing. I am trying to imagine a scenario in which on might need a dozen burners— yikes. And that pantry is covetable. How was the sewing machine museum? I can't wrap my mine around that and I sew. That said, the guy who used to service mine collected vintage toy sewing machines and they were amazing.

Jo C— How nice to hear from you. I'm sorry you're not feeling as you would wish to. I'm not sure if you're on steroids, but I know when my mom was on high dose steroids for vasculitis, she was pretty miserable. Prednisone is like the best of medications and the worst of medications at once.

Lorita— I hope this dangerous weather is over for you (and others in the path) soon. It must be exhausting to be on alert days on end to say nothing of watching communities torn up nearby.

I hope Sarah gets some relief soon.

Jerilynn— Your situation with FIL certainly is unique. I bet you never in your life would have imagined the sentence "I'll wipe his butt, but I will NOT hold his penis for him…" dropping from your mouth.

I'll be thinking of you as you say goodbye to Annabelle. It's always sad, but sometimes the kinder choice to make.

Mint— It must feel good to have the lawn tidied up. It's a lot you have going on taking care of 2 households as you do. I can barely stay on top of my yard.

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I had a quiet start to the week. My dentist canceled on me yesterday which annoys as it pushes it into June when things will be busier. Oh well.

I've been puttering around in the yard and catching up on house cleaning since Mom didn't have any appointments until today. She sees her psychiatrist this afternoon and then I'll take her for a pedi and maybe some annuals for her garden since the fancy garden center is near the nail salon. I still have to figure out Mother's Day. Maybe dinner here; I don't go out on the that particular day.

Both my BILs had stent procedures last week. DH's brother's was anticipated, but my idiot BIL was something of a surprise. I do hope he does well as my niece doesn't need anything else on her plate from him. DH's brother did well with the procedure but ended up with bronchitis while in the hospital. Poor guy. He's itching to get back on the golf course and he's just not there yet.

My BFF has finally accepted that she needs to have the preventative surgery and is pushing for it to be done asap. I'm glad she's decided to do it. She's in the middle of a kitchen remodel that's gone sideways with contractor complications so it would be nice if that was wrapped up first. She has a kitchen in the basement, but she won't be up to stairs.

HB