Am I being written out of DH history?

Maru, it's the disease. It is heartrending when your life partner forgets you, but it happens, it's happened to us. My partner still knows my face and knows she loves me (now late stage 6), but she has forgotten everything about our 30 years together. Brace yourself, it hurts.

@Maru

My dad did this around the time he transitioned into the middle stages. At first his confabulations felt like a rewrite of family history; often he ascribed ghastly thing my sister or his had done to me. He once told my then middle school aged son that I left "my kids" in a bar to go off with some dude so that was fun.

He also became the protagonist of all stories he told as he progressed. He once claimed to have lost a home in a flood (it was me, not him) and even insisted he'd had knee replacement when it was mom who did.

FWIW, forgetting people and relationships is very common in later stages, but my dad knew mom and I right up until he died from aspiration pneumonia.

HB

I think it feels very pointed when it's your roles he's taking as he makes himself the center of all the stories. It might be helpful to look for other instances where he's making himself the center of a story but taking the credit from others. You've been such a big part of his life that he still might be doing it more with your roles and actions but there are probably other stories where he takes other people's parts.

Hi, Maru, I know this hurts and I'm sorry this is happening. In the earlier stages of my DH disease, he started talking about what he did and where he had gone. It really surprised me and hurt me because I had been right there with him when he did those things or went to those places. I got angry and would correct him although it did no good. I know now it was the disease that caused it. It still hurts, of course, but knowing it's the disease may help you understand and know he isn't doing it to hurt you.

My DH tells me of events that happened years ago or of people he once knew, although we were married at the time and I was a part of those times. It still baffles me when he does this but he at least knows me in the here and now for which I am grateful. It is such a strange disease!!

I'm so sorry and can relate to you. In August, my DH and I were traveling and I mentioned being married and he said "we're married?"

Why didn't anyone tell him? Its' confusing to him and to me. He now is clear that we are married and he really is ok with it. The part about when we met, our wedding and living together over 30 years is gone for him. Very strange and it took me a while to deal with how that feels.

Mary, it is very hard for sure. My HWD/Alz always tells stories that are all confabulated and I am no where in the story . I use to try and gently remind him that I was with him but that confused him more . He has no idea of how where or when we met, places we’ve been and takes credit for every meal I prepare and every load of laundry i complete .i just go along with it because it does boost his spirit. ( which is better than when he was snarky all the time )

my DH forgot who I was a year ago, probably stage 4 then. Initially, I thought he was joking and say don’t you know my name…I’m (name), and he would say yes and laugh it off. It wasn’t too long before I realized he really didn’t know who I was. We have been married over 30 years and I am was the first person he forgot. It was a gut punch. Moving on to today, he knows he likes me and wants to ‘live wherever I live’, but I’m not sure exactly who he thinks I am, other than he likes and feels safe with me. It doesn’t make sense to him or myself…most nights he tells me I can sleep in any room and there are lots of towels if I want a shower. We sleep in the same bed but he doesn’t make any connection of why would I sleep there. I sometimes try to think of it like it’s a way to protect them, they can’t look after us so maybe it’s better for them if we are just friends. It’s really hard but as time goes on you begin to accept it, not like it but accept it. Day by day, we will get through this. Sending hugs.