Caregiver Respite

Hi Sjromero - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Yes, adult daycare through the week would probably help your dad a lot. Some memory care centers have respite care, where a LO can be there just for a short time.

Does dad have any assistance with her through the week? Some insurance policies will cover a couple of hours - for some basic assistance like bathing or grooming.

I started with the ADRC (Aging and Disability Resource Center) in our county, and they had lists of everything; they are supposed to be objective, so they can't tell you to avoid certain places, but I picked a couple, made some phone/email contacts, and then visited. The visits were the most important part. Then, I set up a conversation with her Geriatrics provider and learned that the place I liked best had a good reputation with their patients' families.

If your dad has certain requirements - location, day/time, cost, etc - bring those into the conversation right from the start. I needed a full day program near my work; your dad might want to play golf on Thursdays, so be sure he asks specifically about his needs. Also ask what times people typically arrive and leave, just so you know; her program opens at 7:30 and is supposed to be open til 5:30, but most people arrive around 8 and leave around 4, so if I get there at 5:00 she's the only one left. See if you can visit at lunchtime to see what's on the menu. Don't be put off by participants who don't seem engaged in the activities; if the staff is good, they will have a variety of things going on throughout the day that are designed so there's something to appeal to everyone, at some point.

We call it the "senior social program," never "adult day care," and I've never mentioned that it costs money. She doesn't remember what goes on there but she knows she likes it most of the time, so mornings go smoothly. OTOH, if I'm more than 15 minutes late to pick her up, I will hear about it for hours…