Trusting the "Experts"

This is my first time posting on this website. I am almost 60 years old and my 90 year old mother was recently diagnosed with dementia. She and my father live in an RCAC 2 hours away from where my sister and I live. In the past few months my mom's memory has declined and has required more care. She and my dad have been married and have lived together for 66 years and now the RCAC director is telling us that my mom is going to need to move to their assisted living facility because she is at 38 hours of care; which is more than they are able to provide. My mom is still very aware of what's around her; she does occasionally need help getting dressed and she has been incontinent for quite some time. They are really pushing us to move her to a room in the next building. My sister and I fight constantly about this because I'm afraid this is going to 'destroy' my mom but they (being the director and staff at the RCAC) say my dad needs a break. I know it is inevitable but it seems so cruel to just up and move her without her consent. I became her medical power of attorney 3 months ago because of her decline. Anyone have any insight in how to deal with this?