New Role as Conservator and Guardian after Theft by POA

Aside from all the legal dealings to set up new accounts and payment systems, there are also decisions about whether her son should be allowed to visit her as he continues to represent to her that this is no big deal and will all be repaid by the end of the year, when in fact he may be facing criminal charges by then and the he will never be able to repay her himself.
Some days I'm just fine and can get through the list of things that need doing. Other days I struggle through anger toward my nephew for what he did and anxiety for my sister's future. I've started to put together a family support team to support her where she is.
Sometimes I just need to know I'm not alone and hear from others who have gone through this as a caregiver.
Comments
-
Hello and welcome to the discussion boards. This particular board does not get much traffic so you might want to repost on the General Caregiver or Caring for a Parent board, either one is fine.
I am sorry this has happened. Unfortunately mismanagement of money and family conflict over money is not uncommon, there are couple of those types of situations current on the boards now. Outright stealing is rarer. You stepped up and did what was hard but necessary. I do not know you but let me thank you anyway.
Your idea of organizing family support where she is is wonderful. You might also see if there is a geriatric care manager available to look in on her from time to time.
Again, welcome.
1 -
Wow, that is very hard. I echo @towhee in appreciation for your stepping up for your sister. I have not faced the situation you are in, but I have been a long-distance caregiver and dealt with financial missteps (putting it mildly) by someone else, although not a POA and not rising to the level of criminality.
I very much understand and empathize with the constant worry and the flashes of fury. Agreed that creating a family support network is wonderful. If the situation proves too hard, now or later, you may want to think about the option of moving her close to you. The long-distance thing may work for now, though, and may work for this situation always. Each PWD is different.
Yes, people here understand and sympathize, and we recognize good caregiving when we see it. You are doing the hard things well.
0 -
And as far as whether the son should be restricted from visiting her: I think the main question there should be whether his visits are helping or harming her. Does she enjoy them? Do they bring her any joy or peace? Would she be upset not to see him? Would she remember not seeing him? Presumably he cannot extort money from her now? Is there any possibility of his harming her financially or psychologically?
1 -
This is more common than you think. I'm in the same situation and is has fractured many family relationships. My sister , brother & her daughter showed up at her secure memory care facility a tried to remove our mom. Once the judge read all the documents she wrote in her orders all visitors had be approved. Our job it is our keep our loved ones safe, treated with love & respect. Decisions we have to make are not about us its for our loved one. Please try to give yourself grace & do something for YOU daily Hugs
1
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more
Categories
- All Categories
- 563 Living With Alzheimer's or Dementia
- 296 I Am Living With Alzheimer's or Other Dementia
- 267 I Am Living With Younger Onset Alzheimer's
- 16.4K Supporting Someone Living with Dementia
- 5.5K I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
- 8K Caring For a Spouse or Partner
- 2.6K Caring for a Parent
- 215 Caring Long Distance
- 133 Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone
- 17 Discusiones en Español
- 5 Vivir con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 4 Vivo con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 1 Vivo con Alzheimer de Inicio Más Joven
- 12 Prestación de Cuidado
- 3 Soy Cuidador (Temas Generales)
- 8 Cuidar de un Padre
- 23 ALZConnected Resources
- View Discussions For People Living with Dementia
- View Discussions for Caregivers
- Discusiones en Español
- Browse All Discussions
- Dementia Resources
- 8 Account Assistance
- 15 Help