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Suggestions PLEASE
Hello everyone! This my first post, as a matter of fact, this is the first time I am dealing with someone with dementia. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I recently came to stay at a shelter, as I lost my house. This was 2 months ago. It's a small shelter, at present, there is just myself and another person, who has…
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Looking for my Care-Giver Peers with Spouses with Early-Onset ALZ Denver Area
I am a 60 year old man living in the Denver area. My wife was diagnosed with early onset at age 53 in 2020. I have attended our local monthly group but it gets so crowded and rarely is there enough time for serious discussion. It is emotionally draining and hard to find coverage so I can attend the meetings at the time…
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Mother not cooperating with maid
My mother ,aged 66,is not able to go to washroom by herself We have maid,who helps her, recently she is not cooperating with her as well. Other than my sister,she does not allow anyone else to be with her. Need suggestions....to deal with mother Also,she is hallucinating....she looks at herself in mirror and gets hyper...…
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Not sure what to do?
Hello, my name is Mary and I moved in with my mother in January and have been her primary caregiver since then. And to put it nicely I am exhausted. I moved in as my brother was moving out after about a year. My brother's wife abruptly filed for divorce in December of 2022 and he was forced out of him home within 48 hours…
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From The NYT: The Ethicist- Spouse with Dementia
I have so many thoughts on this starting with "has this columnist ever lived with a PWD?" https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/magazine/husband-dementia-divorce-ethics.html?unlocked_article_code=1.z00.2GoA.8KLGpmxh2ufJ&smid=url-share
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Therapeutic Lie #2
Hi everyone! This is kind of a continuation of my last post. I am trying to get my mom (60 with ALZ) in to an adult day care program, and it did not go well. Well, we didn't even get to the day care place. I took all of your guys' advice about saying it's a place where I volunteer at and have some friends I want her to…
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How do you process your thoughts, feelings, and slow burning grief?
Hi everyone. I’m new here. So glad I found this online community. The last three years have been super intense. From my mother getting diagnosed to losing her job to hiring at-home care, and the moving to assisted living in Jan 2023. This is a short summary, of course. But now she needs 24/7 supervision and it’s just SO…
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Therapeutic Lie
Hi everybody! I was looking for some advice on how to explain to my mom (60 with ALZ) the idea of starting to go to an adult day care program. There’s this wonderful program that’s 5 minutes away from us, in a senior center that my mom is familiar with already because her mom used to go there. I’be recently heard the term…
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How To Balance Life
Hi everyone! Hope you and your LO’s are well. I have been having a lot of problems having a proper “work-life balance” for lack of a better term. My mom’s (60) diagnosis and required care takes up all of my energy, thankfully she’s still able to move around and shower herself and use the bathroom on her own, and those were…
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Flew home and found mom in self neglect
I am the youngest of 7, and my mother’s only girl. I’m the favorite and so I have the best relationship with her. My mom is 74, and I noticed something was wrong last year when she was showing some short term memory loss, not answering her phone, and making excuses to not fly to Colorado to visit her kids. Saying she was…
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On the advice of my therapist
I have a habit of minimizing or stuffing down feelings and emotions. My therapist has given me the assignment of telling someone about something I am struggling with. Not to look for a solution but as a way to validate the experience. And so… I have a great deal of resentment and a feeling of loss of self. DH was diagnosed…
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Do You Talk To Yourself Out Loud As A Caregiver?
I have started talking out loud to myself (Not within DH’s hearing) both to vent about something DH has done or said and to try and calm myself. I say “it is not him, it is the disease” or “I can get through this” or even have back and forth mini-conversation with me, myself and I! Does anyone else do this? Am I losing it?
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How do I best help Mom, the caregiver?
Hello~ first post. My parents both turned 80 and Dad was officially diagnosed with stage 5 Alzheimer’s dementia the same week. His progression through early stages was very slow~ we’ve noticed little things for seven or so years~ but he had COVID in January, and the big slide began… I live 90 minutes away from them with my…
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Hey Everyone
My name is Chris. My dad was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this week at the Mayo Clinic. I will be, along with my brothers, assisting my stepmother in caring for him. This is all new and overwhelming at this point. I hope to learn more and find some support here. Thanks!
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When you take care of family members with AD,what can cheer you up or bring back old happy memories?
Sometimes I feel frustrated when taking care of my grandpa with AD.I don't feel like he's the same him anymore, and we seem to be the most familiar strangers.I wonder what will bring you guys the old happy memory that cheer you up to continuously look after your family members. Hoping to receive some kind answers to help…
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Changing Assisted Living Communities - VENT
Hi everyone. I'm new here and I am in the process of exploring the different discussions posted. I appreciate all of the information everyone has shared. It helps me to feel like we are in this together. I wanted to get some things off my chest and I didn't know where else to go. I am an only daughter and I care for my…
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MC journey off to a very rough start
After 3 nights secret work in late hours preparing for moving DW age 59 into MC, I thought I was going to get a break on move-in day (last Friday 3/1). DW has had a lot of agitation and they reassured me they are used to dealing with this. We arrived at 10am, the team assembled in her room, collected meds, signed off on…
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Taking this all in
:( My mom, 71 years old, got the diagnosis not too long ago. My dad, same age, told me yesterday. My parents live in Ohio, I live in Massachusetts. Her mother died at 75 from the disease, well, from a heart attack. But she had Alzheimer's for about 10 years. I don't have many memories of my grandmother, as I was very…
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Feeling lost
I’m new here. My wife is at the early stages, she is 67 and I am 60. I still have to work so our lives have a lot of moving pieces. Slowly I have been watching my wife deteriorate. The past 6 months it seems like even the easier tasks are getting harder for her & take her a lot more time. It’s like her problem solving…
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I’m. Just. So. Damn. Tired.
I have been caring for my mother who has been declining with grace for years. Now, at 92, she is very frail, and often doesn’t remember how to stand or sit. She can communicate sometimes. She can feed herself but eats little. Lately, she has been getting up without assistance and has fallen. Now I sleep with her to keep…
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Angry forever?
My moms delusions and anger have become so taxing that our family feels like it may be time for full time care but she’s voiced she doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and “nothings wrong” with her. I KNOW she’s going to be irate with everyone. My question is, do you have experience with this and was your loved one angry…
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PWD over-estimating their abilities - any strategies for coping?
My 94 yo mother was diagnosed with dementia last July. She is in stage 4. She lives in a CCRC. She's been there 6 years in a cottage living independently. Now we have a succession of aides coming in for various tasks, like medication management and general supervision. She complained about that a lot at first, but seems to…
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How to communicate with a parent in denial
Hello! Rather abruptly it has become clear my mom will need to be in MC for at least the immediate short term, or even longer. She had an episode of delirium after attempting to travel solo to a family member, and while she has largely recovered, her baseline is way worse than before this episode. She was released from the…
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Newly Diagnosed Mom
Hello, My mother was recently diagnosed with moderate dementia. It seems to have accelerated once she moved into AL, which was her decision. She is well cared for however is requesting that my brother and I call her multiple times a day. Any tips for setting reasonable boundaries while at the same time helping her as much…
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Trying to support an aggressive grandfather
I’ve been taking care of my great grandfather for almost two years, the rest of the household is too harsh to him and it causes problems. I cannot convince them to get him help. I am 20, cannot drive and have put everything aside to take care of a three person household. How can I help my grandfather who has gotten worse,…
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Dementia, Broken Hip, and next steps
Hello, First time posting. My mother is 95 and was lving independently with caregiver assistance until she broke her hip a few weeks ago. She has been through a lot since 2018 - kidney timor ablation; treatment for APL (acute promyelocytic leukemia), a small stroke, and now this. She is in rehab connected to the retirement…
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dementia engagement services
As a caregiver of a parent with vascular dementia, I'm looking to offer engaging outings for families of people with dementia. This could be morning coffee or lunch with some kind of light physical activity or stimulating interaction. My hope is to provide individuals with dementia a routine that inspires, promotes…