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Eating and eating and eating

I know this topic can’t only be something that I’m dealing with. Some background here my fiancé and myself moved in with his grandfather a year ago whose health had deteriorated tremendously in the previous year. I thought we would be temporary until he got back on track. Well I decided to remove my blinders about 2 months ago and realized no one was trying to take the situation by the horns 😂🤦‍♀️ oh by the horns is an understatement. He has dementia and diabetes 😩😅 that’s the double whammy of double whammy’s. I need someone what’s experienced or is experiencing this to be my friend and just talk to me I have so many questions. Like how can I get him to realize he’s full or has eaten and doesn’t need to be eating every five mins . Y’all when I tell you I’m up all night because of trusty sundowners trying to stop him from catching the house on fire or cooking 4 or 5 baked potatoes in the microwave at once . He will eat a dozen of eggs at one time if I don’t jump up at the first sound of him rolling his walker down the hallway.. he reminds me of pac man he’s never full . What can I do I have put locks on fridges and then he found a way to rip them off I’ve stopped buying a lot of groceries at once because I couldn’t afford for him to be eating everything insight within 24 hours. I’ve stored things in rooms hidden away but it never fails I’ll hear wrappers rattling or him in cabinets constantly hearing beeping from the microwave.. Im not a terrible person trying to restrict his food I’m trying to control his blood sugar yall it has been no lower than 240 since I’ve been here. Over a year . Yes he goes to the dr and takes insulin. He just won’t stop eating.. has anyone else dealt with this. Plus I need sleep and a little relaxation. Im 35 I don’t really have friends that are going through anything like this and he keeps me so busy that I don’t even try to reach out. But today was a blessing finding this site.. last night was really bad so I’m desperate

Comments

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,339
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    Hi Whitneyspop - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

    MIL went through a phase where she would eat and eat, and then eat again. Her mind could not comprehend that she had just eaten or that she was full. It sounds like that is what is happening to your dad. Do tell his doctor. I know he is eating anything and everything as well as sugar, but a PWD will absolutely crave sugar. We have a pantry-cabinet, and we have to lock it. We don't keep anything with sugar in the fridge.

    Do look into adult daycare at least a few days a week - for your own sanity. There is also 24/7 hotline here, 1-800-272-3900 and ask for care assistance.

    Sorry you are dealing with 'this'. It sure can be frustrating, nerve-wracking, and a lot of other things!

  • Whitneyspop
    Whitneyspop Member Posts: 2
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    thank you. Last night I removed everything from the cabinets and set him up with some proportioned breakfast and I made him a board beside his clock and coffee and i wrote the date and instructions needless to say he decided he wanted to do none of it 😅 and broke the locks off of the fridge and got the whole box of pudding and ate those and a jar of peanut butter.. I guess some of it is spiteful I feel like it anyways . And oh yes I looked into adult daycare last night as well because I definitely am realizing I have to have some me time and also getting the house cleaned to !! Thank you so much for letting me know that this is something that happens to others too .. ❤️❤️

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,260
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    welcome. So sorry you are going through this. His brain is broken so he won’t stop. And many dementia patients crave sweets. Talk to his doctor. Buy everything sugar free that you can. I bought my husband Splenda sugar free protein shakes. Can you move the food into a garage that you lock with a dead bolt? Maybe put a fridge there? Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and watch Tam Cummings videos online about caregiving. He has sundowners and that’s why he’s not sleeping. Ask the doctors for something to help him sleep. You should start looking into memory care now. Will you be able to care for him when he becomes incontinent and bedridden? Many people can’t.

  • MN Chickadee
    MN Chickadee Member Posts: 926
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    Wow. A jar of peanut butter in one sitting is about the number of calories he should have in an entire day. Is he gaining an enormous amount of weight? I would talk to his doctor about meds, both diabetes related and also psych meds. Many caregivers find that some over the top behavior is alleviated with psychotropic medications. I'm not a medical professional, so just spit balling, but I also wonder about a Ozempic type of drug that reduces the urge to eat. That level of eating will kill him, and also make care difficult if he becomes morbidly obese. It may be an obsessive manifestation of the declining brain. Some people with dementia get to be hoarders, or hyper sexual, or obsessed with one thing or another so maybe his is form is the brain signals for appetite being totally haywire. Finding the right cocktail of medications may alleviate this.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 742
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    We got my mil a box of her favorite chocolates. She offered us each one. We went for a short walk and came back to her room where she said oh look chocolates and ate another. She had no idea she had just ate one. They were gone is 2 days. I would definitely talk with his doctor. It might also be time to consider a facility if it is just too difficult. No judgement. Sometimes it’s just a more realistic option.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,769
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    These are good suggestions. There is another current thread on the same topic, so you are definitely not alone. I tried all the tricks above and then some. Whatever was needed and worked, at the time. We went through a long phase of the same behavior here. His hospice nurse researched and discovered it is a condition called leptin resistance, and is indeed linked to their brain decline - Alzheimer's specifically (though not exclusively).

    My DH had never before done such over-eating, but when this kicked in he had no concept of being full. It was a tough time.

    But now nearing the end of Stage 7 it is different. He still will eat anything and everything, (even non-food) as part of the hyper-oral part of this stage. Yet he is losing weight weekly despite taking in enough daily calories, as his brain somehow is interfering with the normal nutrition transfer.

  • Whyzit2
    Whyzit2 Member Posts: 76
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    why are you carrying the burden of your fiancé s grandfather? Do you have his power of attorney ? The family of this man will allow you to try and manage this as long as you are willing. How convenient for them At 36 it seems you would have goals and dreams to reach for instead of taking care of a man who is not going to get better. I don’t mean to be rude to you but as an 83 year old woman who is taking care of my diabetic husband who has Alzheimer’s I would get myself out of that situation and start living your own life.

  • peterswife
    peterswife Member Posts: 2
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    I don't want to sound cruel, but why is this your problem? Where is your fiancé and the rest of his family. Unless your fiancé is his only relative, you need to have a family meeting and sort this out. This is a never ending battle that you can't and should not have to deal with alone.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more