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cross-post: looking to trade visits with someone in Nashville who's parent is in San Fran Bay
hi there this is my first post and I’m so grateful to be here and for this community. My dad has recently been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though once he quit drinking, I’m hoping he gets that diagnosis revisited. I’m exploring alternatives to the horrific options that I see in terms of forcing him into memory…
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What do I tell Mom when she asks to go home?
Hello, I'm new here, and new to caring for my Mother who is middle stage with dementia. Long story short, my Dad was her primary care give until he passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. He hid from the family his illness (cancer) and the extent of Mom's dementia. I live out of state, so that was pretty easy for him to…
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Dementia vs stage 4 lung cancer - advice needed
For those who have experience being a caregiver for someone who has significant co-morbidities, could you help me understand how to address my MIL’s changing needs? MIL is almost 92. She has had lung cancer for 10 years. The oncologist believes the tumors are very slow growing due to two immunotherapy treatments 7 years…
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Help! Dealing with Mom wanting to go home
Mom has been in memory care for one month. She's asking to go home per usual, and I am following the points suggested to me to redirect, etc. My question is emotionally how do you deal with the guilt of it all? I am so sad, and just want to tell her the truth (of course, I won't..she's unable to process) but the feelings…
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Moving MWD To Indiana
Hi! My mom who lives in FL was diagnosed with ALZ in June 2023. It has progressed quickly that by December was confusing me with her deceased sister, missing medications, taking the next morning of meds after every nap, forgetting where my brother & I live etc. She lives alone in FL but has a boyfriend who comes over daily…
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How do I best help Mom, the caregiver?
Hello~ first post. My parents both turned 80 and Dad was officially diagnosed with stage 5 Alzheimer’s dementia the same week. His progression through early stages was very slow~ we’ve noticed little things for seven or so years~ but he had COVID in January, and the big slide began… I live 90 minutes away from them with my…
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Questions to be asking
I currently live out of state from my LO. They were recently diagnosed with EOA and from my research I believe that they are in early stage. I call every few days to check in on them. What are some questions that I might want to ask that can help me know how they are progressing through EOA? I know there are limitations…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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Highly Paranoid MIL Refuses Help
New here, big venting coming up. Sorry and thanks: My 92yr old MIL has been getting consistently more symptomatic over the past few months. Her PCP called it "age-related dementia" and left it at that. She has since come to state that she's never visited that doctor (she was actually a patient for nearly two years) and is…
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Just sharing a moment of epiphany
So yesterday was a particularly frustrating morning with Mom. Angry about money and lying people, and all sort of nasty comments. I was having a very hard time keeping my compassion and my Ms Dementia glasses weren’t working! decided I needed to escape and went down to the beach to walk around and let tranquillity envelope…
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Overwhelmed
Hi everyone, I'm new to the group. I'm the caregiver to my husband who was diagnosed 4 years ago with MCI. Since then we have seen a neurologist and he is now at early onset Alzheimers. I'm feeling overwhelmed with things at this point. I just need to know that things will be OK.
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"lost in current time"?
Tam Cummings lists this as a late stage 5 characteristic. But I’m not quite sure what it means? Also, recently I’ve noticed that when MIL refers to “my family”, she always means her nuclear family as a child. Is this just an indication of her older memories being stronger than more recent memories? We had a recent…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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Need advice--meds, good days, bad days, anticipatory grief
Hi, this is long but I don't know that it can be abbreviated. My mom is 86 and has been having symptoms of dementia for the past couple years. I don't know which kind she has because she has not been formally diagnosed by a neurologist. I suspect it is lewy body. Anyway, it has gotten really bad last November after having…
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I need help
Hi, I’m Janet. I take care of my husband with Alzheimer’s. I would really like to talk to someone going through the same things. He is in the moderate stage and is 77, I’m 73.
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Delusions, hallucinations or dreams?
MIL has had some relatively minor episodes of hallucination type incidents. Some were auditory (Do you hear the vacuum cleaner?). Some were visual (There were butterflies all over the wall.) And some felt more like confusion. (Yelling “hello, hello” because she thought someone was knocking at the door). But last night was…
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the long night
It's about 4:30AM here. My mom called me around 11 and I knew I needed to come over to keep her company and help. I've read the hospice book and this forum and my books and all that for months now, but seeing this in real life is obviously different. He might be in the actively dying stage now? Wasn't really expecting that…
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Wife refuses medical help
After 3-4 years of increasing memory loss, Finlay was able to get DW to her PCP (prescribed sertraline for anxiety) and neurophysiological testing. Diagnosed with presumptive AD but she is in denial and refuses further follow up. Related: about 12 months ago she began to not recognize me. Not sure what to do
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pain management and further progression
Hi friends, Things are progressing over here (as they always are). We have a low dose of morphine on board now. My dad's legs are extremely stiff and causing him pretty consistent pain, it appears. Brought this up to his hospice nurse when he visited last week and he said we should start morphine now, because once the pain…
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possibly transitioning to next stage?
Hi friends, It feels late at night even though it's 7:30PM here. Wanted to check-in about the kookiness we've had going on today. Some catch-up from the last couple of weeks: my dad might be starting to struggle with eating/using his hands. More confusion about how to do things (take pills, drink from straw). As he's…
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Mobility concern
Hello everyone. My mother is 75 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia officially in 2020. Lately, my mom has been needing more help with walking around the house. Last week, she fell in the bathroom; she was looking in the mirror and just fell backwards. I’ve also noticed that she leans to her…
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updates and checking in
Hi everyone, wanted to say hi and post a few updates since today is a wonky one over here. My mom has officially started her new job (still working from home) and I'm going into the law school twice a week for work. We've hired Brightstar so we have a sitter coming in the days I'm not here during work hours so my mom can…
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Mother gave my brother and sister-in-law POA and all legal powers but they don’t want to do anything
Hello all- I am new to this community. My mother is in the process of her diagnosis and it has been hell. She has been diagnosed with “Mild Cognitive Impairment” but the MRI shows severe damages from silent strokes. She failed her driver license exam because of 4 critical driving errors (1 CDE disqualifies you). She has…
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Online counseling for caregiver support and those dealing with a hoarder?
Hi all, new to the forum and appreciate that its here. Does anyone know of an online counselor for caregiver of family support - especially those dealing with lifelong hoarders? I prefer online/virtual sessions and timezone is not a concern. My Mom (72) has Alzheimers and I am her POA, Guardian and Trustee. She is highly…
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How do I answer the question, "Why can't I remember?"
I have been a caregiver to a lovely woman in MS of Alzheimer's since April 2023. One thing she's been doing more of here lately is asking me why she can't remember things. For example, just today, she was talking about her father and how she wasn't sure whether or not he was still alive. When I confirmed her suspicions of…
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I'm new here and I want out...: (
DH diagnosed one month ago and our lives are out of control. I am the caregiver, now only driver, home caretaker, as well as the target of his anger, rage, distrust, you name it. Not sure what to do, where to start. I dont even know this person really...and I now realize thats been going on for years. Here I thought we…
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Nanny Cam vs. Security Cam
Hi all, so the topic of installing cameras has come up many times as a means to keep an eye on my folks and the certified aides. Dad vocalized not wanting them on grounds of his privacy being invaded which I understand. However, it’s just getting more & more concerning with aides being lazy, falling asleep, and mom growing…
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Planning a Family Forum
Hi, everyone. I am in charge of planning a support group for resident's families, but I have been working in memory care for only about 5 months now. Yes, I have learned a lot about dementia and Alzheimer's and have a range of topics I would like to talk about at this family forum, but I would love to hear what other…
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Sudden worsening of symptoms
Hi all, I am new here. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in March of 2023. I still live at home with him and my mom. He had been living pretty normally since his diagnosis with a mild decline as to be expected. At his last doctor appointment on Monday 1/29/24 his doctor started him on Wellbutrin to aide in his depression…