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How to convince a loved one to move into an assisted living facility
hello. I am a caregiver for my father. He currently lives alone. I live very close to him. His Alzheimer’s has progressed and I’m concerned about him living alone. I’ve had some things in place the last few years that have allowed him to remain home but his behaviors, especially late in the day, are concerning me. The…
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New to this and seeking guidance
I’m new to this whole world and the challenges it presents! Mom is showing many signs of Dementia/Alz and in the process of additional health tests. No official diagnosis, no cognitive testing. Limited healthcare in the area and PCP is generalist. We are trying to get her to Geriatric Dr in a few months tho haven’t brought…
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Lots of strangers coming and going at home
I started with in home care for my DH back in the summer. I'll be honest, I was so overwhelmed at the time, that just having a few hours to myself was amazing. I also had to hire contractors to do many things my husband use to do or that we would do together. I went through 3 cleaning services alone, not to mention the…
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Mom with MCI and low dbp
Hello dear community, I usually come to you with questions about Dad in MC. This time I am concerned for my Mom. She still lives independently with an MCI diagnosis. Last fall and winter were really rough for her. So as daylight lessens and chily nights creep in I find myself watching her even more than usual. Anyway, she…
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Help With Care for My Mom & Myself
My mother was recently diagnosed with Dementia. Currently, I have in-home help which I plan to continue as much as we can. I am wondering if anyone knows of support groups (the ones I've found in my area are already full). This is completely new to me and I want to ensure I am doing the best I can for my mother. Any help…
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AL or MC
My 89 year old mother has been living in IL for about 5 years since my father died. She plays bridge a few times a week, but otherwise her activities are eating meals in the dining room with her friends and watching tv. Over the last few months she’s stopped taking out her garbage, washing her dishes, or doing laundry. Her…
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My DH was just diagnosed with Alz
My Dh was just diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s doing well now but we are both overwhelmed with making decision s for the future. Do we stay in our home of 45 years or downsize to an adult community? If we stay put, how to prepare to make home safe? How and where do I get help when I need it? What legal…
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Early onset: navigating caregiving AND parenting simultaneously
Lately, I've been feeling more ready to wander around these forums and read about the struggles and heartbreaks of other caregivers. We are fairly new to this reality and I'm finding acceptance of our circumstances little by little. I recently found the Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) and it's given me such a…
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Pool Safety?
I’m new here and this is my first post.. my mother (67) is a few years into Alzheimer’s and still living at home with my father who is her primary caregiver. I am about a 10 minute drive away, often busy with my kids (6 and 3), but I spend time with mom a few days a week to give my dad some down time. Mom is left alone…
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Are we just destined to endure a long slow decline?
This sounds harsh, but is there such a thing as someone getting ill for 1-2 years and managing sufficiently, then just taking a sharp downward turn for a few weeks or months and shuffling off this mortal life? By contrast, the last seven years my parents have just declined slowly and steadily while losing cognitive…
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Early Stages: assessment, support, education
Hello, I am in the early stages of needing to get my LO a neurological assessment and get educated as their child on the best ways to support them moving forward. It's hard to know if they are in early stages or if aging and isolation and depression are the culprits. (want to acknowledge that i know they will exacerbate…
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Online counseling for caregiver support and those dealing with a hoarder?
Hi all, new to the forum and appreciate that its here. Does anyone know of an online counselor for caregiver of family support - especially those dealing with lifelong hoarders? I prefer online/virtual sessions and timezone is not a concern. My Mom (72) has Alzheimers and I am her POA, Guardian and Trustee. She is highly…
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Trying to Manage
Since my FIL has been staying with us, he just seems to be getting more difficult to care for. We have received a referral to neurologist for my FIL so we will be making an appointment to hopefully get an official diagnosis, medications/treatment. We have reached out to attorney regarding POA. In the meantime, we’re…
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Safety when cooking
My 76 yr. old DH is becoming more and more forgetful. He has several of the symptoms of cognitive impairment. He hasn't been tested or diagnosed yet but agreed to have me attend his next medical appt. in February. I've told him I'm noticing more instances of forgetfulness, which he'll accept for the moment, but doesn't…
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clashing with sibling this Christmas over COVID risks
My mom is in the moderate stages of AD, still living with my father but it is increasingly difficult with her behavior and level of confusion. They are 60+ years married, in their 80s, and my father is mom's primary caregiver (burdened by her care needs). I recently moved them to be closer to me (only daughter and youngest…
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Need help: Does DH need placement for his own safety?
It's been a rough 10 days. Last weekend, about an hour and 15 minutes after I left the house to perform with my singing group, I get a call from DS. DH had called him and they were on the way to the ER. Seems DH had suffered an episode of intense chest pain that then subsided. Because he's got a longstanding history of…
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Home Help
Hi, I am a 21yo and I live with my Grandma who is late stage in dementia. I need help finding homes. I am in constant therapy for PTSD from the abuse and need guidance. I feel like either I go into a psych hospital or find her a home. If there's any recs that someone can give me I would be most grateful.
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Won’t Go to the Dr./won’t get an assessment
I am curious what ideas people have for facilitating an assessment for someone who probably understands that something is going on, but refuses to go to the doctor, and likely doesn’t want to do that because she is aware an assessment would happen. (the phrase - “you are trying to commit me has come up quite a bit…
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Broken arm
one of the residents in moms memory care has broken their arm. The swelling is really intense. They can’t cast it till the swelling goes down. She keeps forgetting her arm is broken and takes the brace off and it keeps swelling more. Her sweet family has tried all they know to keep the brace on. Cut sleeve over her arm, a…
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Mother in law- and supporting my husband and brothers to best support her
My MIL recently moved close to us from our of state. Since she has been closer we see increased memory impairment and getting lost while driving. I would like to chalk up some of it to learning a new area, however a few weeks ago she came into a restaurant disorientated and confused and the waitress called for a welfare…
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Pros/Cons of being in kitchen
I think an early-stage (ES) PWD being in the kitchen can be helpful to wellbeing, as it is better than watching TV all day. The PWD (my mom) can get frustrated is she can't find things, or makes mistakes, but on the positive side, feels she is being helpful, to be able to contribute and seems to enjoy it. On the other…
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Memory Care Discussion - Financial Exploitation
Looking for suggestions on how to encourage a family member to go into a memory care facility. Although she is very good with her activities of daily living, she has been exploited financially by someone posing as her best friend. I think we now have that situation under control, however, we feel she can no longer live…
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new here and it's already bad
Hey yall! So, my dad's had signs of alzheimers/dementia for ages. But I moved in with him almost a yr ago, and when he got violent I immediately scheduled him an appt with his Dr...my dad's never put his hands on me. Ffw to 2 months ago, and i finally got himdiagnosed and medicated. Well, a week ago, he got violent again,…
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hospital bed options
Hi, I'm sure some folks here have experience with this and might have some suggestions. We are preparing to move my mom from SNF to assisted living. My brother and I were hoping to get a hospital bed for her in the new facility, because mom's knees are very bad and being able to raise and lower the bed, plus having the…
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Stubbornness has double down!
My 75 year old father has vascular dementia. He lives on a farm with my elderly mother and has taken care of things around the house his whole life. His stubbornness has gotten worse as his dementia has progressed. He refuses to give up the keys to his tractor or to stop using chainsaws and other dangerous tools. I've…