Stubbornness has double down!
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Welcome to the forum Jewels. There are others here who are farm dwellers including me, and this became a huge issue for my partner and me before she went to memory care a year ago. Guns, tractors, chainsaws, toxic chemicals--it's very difficult to dementia-proof a farm. I have never been a gun person, and my partner grew up shooting rattlesnakes in Texas and was in fact a crack shot. She had several rifles and a shotgun and a couple of handguns; she would shoot armadillos in our front yard with the rifle (only once a rattlesnake) and would kill other injured animals with the .22. A loner most of her life, she used to sleep with a loaded handgun on her bedside table. It took me a long time to convince her to buy a gun safe, but we did, and then I hid the keys. She didn't notice when I just took the handguns away. The tractor was the least of my concerns. What landed her in memory care was threatening me when I took the keys to the pickup truck away. She was constantly overfeeding our pets and I wouldn't let her drive to go get more cat food that we didn't need.
I wish I had easy answers but I don't. Trying to hire help at home in a rural area was also a complete bust. Which is why she ended up in memory care, and is still very unhappy about it. I can't talk to her about the farm; she now doesn't remember where home is, and I am fearful that if I bring it up it will only upset her. I guess my best practical suggestion would be to think ahead about what care options are near them. Is he a veteran? Can they afford private memory care? If not, have you taken steps to see about qualifying him for long-term Medicaid? Good luck.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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