July 22, 2023

Jamie Fren

I never knew when the day would come that I would lose my grandmother, but sadly it has been barely a week since she had passed.

I joined this community around 5 days before her passing, but had hoped we’d have at minimum, 2 weeks left with her, but timing was different than we had imagined.

in my other post, I had explained that I am 26 years old. I had been caring for my grandmother for years throughout each stage of her diagnosis. Losing her when we had, was a shock and I was distraught and crying all day long. Days to follow, as well. I feel like I am in denial and leaving her house makes me anxious, even though I know she is no longer with us. I feel comforted talking to her and seeing signs, but now I’m in a strange state where I feel numb. She was my world my entire life, and this week will be her funeral. I want to honor her by speaking about her. somehow I feel as though after the funeral, I will be the last one staying at a party, or after the curtains are drawn when it comes to my grief.

I have been functioning (or attempting to) but I feel lonely and sad when I stay still.

Any thoughts, kind words, or advice for speaking at a funeral would be helpful, I am going through a lot emotionally (also have a great therapist at the moment too).

mommyandme (m&m)

Im so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Every aspect of this journey is heartbreaking. Give yourself lots of time to grieve, be patient and kind to you. Some time soon, hopefully, you’ll be able to look forward.

When I had to speak at a funeral for my lovely older sister, 15 yrs ago, I felt very comfortable sharing what she’d taught me and shared with me as a child, which ultimately helped shape who I am. And who I am was someone that cared for her through cancer and for my mom through dementia. I’m eternally grateful for all the kindness and love I received from both of them. Couldn’t have done it without them. I visualized my sis waiting for mom with open arms after mom had taken her last breath. Also, they both gave me the gift of sharing with them in their last stage of life. I truly feel privileged and honored at being allowed to be intimately present as they passed.

Im not a good writer or public speaker and wish I could help more. Sending peace and conform your way as you navigate stage 8.