New paranoia- Passenger Seat

justask

It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept saying, "Slow down".

I felt horrible for her and completely confused.

Since the incident, she's had several occasions where she's had this weird new phobia, this anxiety.

Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Is this normal?

Thanks

SusanB-dil

Hi justask - Don't know if maybe she is triggered to remembering an accident from years ago, or what, exactly. What is normal is that logic and reasoning are gone. So unfortunately, sometimes there's just no rhyme or reason for such reactions.

Another poster had a LO reach for the steering wheel and door-handle. Perhaps sitting her in a rear seat would be safer for all. Perhaps she may even feel safer that way.

DCCEPEK

Absolutely back seat with someone if possible. Tried both alone. Front seat she grabbed the wheel thankfully we were still on the farm driveway. Had her in the back seat on I-85 she grabbed my hair(long) bout broke my neck b4 I got pulled over. All this was prior to meds. Took her to respite and still not a rider. We will pick her up Saturday morning that will be her last ride. Hope all goes well for you and yours.

harshedbuzz

Two thoughts come to mind-

Dementia can cause issues with spatial reasoning and visual processing. She may be seeing a different and dangerous reality than the driver does. Backseat with a distractor might help. Medication may be needed.

Another thought is cataracts. Before DH's surgery, he had trouble judging distances based on the size of the lights on other cars. By the time I convinced him to have the consult for surgery, he was sometimes even seeing multiple taillights for each real one which made him feel like I was careening into stopped traffic. He doesn't have dementia, btw.

HB

BassetHoundAnn

My mother would often have anxiety attacks in the car when I first began caring for her. I think they were from generalized dementia-related anxiety. She would start demanding "Take me home! Take me home right now!" and start yelling, acting out, threatening to jump from the car and even on occasion threatening suicide.

I was driving her to a lot of doctor and dental visits at the time. I had a rule: no one is allowed to talk in the car while I'm driving because I don't want to be distracted from traffic. Whenever my mom would start up I would remind her of this rule. No talking while your daughter is driving! I need to concentrate on traffic! "That is the silliest thing I ever heard of," she would scoff, but it usually quieted her for at least a few moments.

Several times I took her to doctor visits via cab because the ride was long, her anxiety level was sure to be high, and I figured she would remain calm if I sat with her in the back seat and could keep her distracted. That worked great. My mom was always very well behaved in cabs. Showtiming I think. She didn't want to throw a tantrum in front of the nice young man or woman driving.

Other times I enlisted my husband to sit in the back seat with her while I drove. That worked too.

I think that because I was her primary person, she considered any opportunity in which we were alone as a chance to act out, throw a fit, etc.

Yeah, anti-anxiety medication certainly would have helped. But it took me months of begging her doctor and taking her to geriatric clinics to get her a prescription even with the suicide threats.

justask

Thank you all for your replies.