Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Just need to talk to my friends (197)

191012141523

Comments

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Whst is a snake !ong? The grabber worked a couple of years ago, maybe three, when I got the two big snakes and three little ones out of the house before I had the floor rep!aced. It seems to be work but don't want to test it. Probably excited and it was my fault.

    JeriLynn, you're like me wanting to take care of everything. Hope the eye is okay.

    Sarah went home today, on hospice. No meds except for pain and seizures, nothing for diabetes. I hope it works out. Hospice doesn't have motorized wheelchairs but I reminded him that one of the service organizations might.

    Tablet is about of power, back later.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,306
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    Lorita, you are a strong woman! I can't handle snakes! I couldn't even handle a small lizard in my home.

    I found a split leaf philodendron plant that someone had discarded. I thought I could rescue it, but in the daylight, it looks really bad.

    It's very HOT here. It's a tropical plant but I know it can't take direct sun. Do any of you green thumb people have any tips for this struggling plant?

    Iris

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 796
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Morning.

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,672
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    good morning everyone

    sorry Iris I don’t know anything about tropical plants maybe somebody else will.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,353
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    Good morning to the porch patrol.


    We’re in the midst of a hot and dry spell. No rain in days and none forecasted until the middle of next week. My lawn is looking extra crispy and woven the coneflowers are wilting.


    @Lorita I hope hospice can bring a level of compassion to Sarah’s care. It sounds like she needs kindness and attention as much as anything medicine can offer. Fingers crossed some angels cross her path.

    Yowza on you successfully dispatching said snake.

    @Jerilynn I get your peevishness around this situation. Are the adult children in this scenario yours? If so, you might want to have a word with the son or daughter and suggest they not arrive empty handed or assign them a contribution. My niece and her darling husband entertain a lot. They can afford to and have a place that’s ideal for hosting. But it’s crazy. He’s one of 11 kids, so even limiting the list to close family is a big endeavor. And when her dad got wind that she was hosting in-laws, he started leaning on her to host his 6 siblings in a bid for equity. Plus they have a lot of friends. My niece says these shindigs set them back a lot and aside from her friends and his mom, nobody contributes. Lol, at Easter my deadbeat ex-BIL took home the Honeybaked ham that was “left over” without asking.

    @Iris That mights be a monstera. They look like philodendrons but are vines which accounts for them getting rangy looking. Mom has one. Hers lives indoors in a NW window and is thriving. She makes cuttings all the time to give away. She has a bunch on her porch right now that aren’t doing as well as the mother plant inside.


    _________________________________

    Yesterday was ghastly. It would have been my dad’s 90th birthday. Bad things happen around his birthday and my parents’ anniversary. More than once, mom has been at the ER on the day for some reason or another. I like to have eyes on her for this reason but it was not meant to be.

    I awoke to DS confessing that he’d put his foot through the wall surrounding the tub. I have the opening taped to keep it out of my walls/ceilings but it‘ll need repair. I was able to get an estimator in from the plumbing/HVAC company we use but OMG have prices gone up. Re-doing the whole bath would be around $35K for a basic 3- piece ceramic tile bath. It is not a big space at all. Just replacing tub, faucets and tile surround is going to be close to $15K. I have a call into another plumber that offers a basic package but I don’t know if it’ll be acceptable in terms of quality.

    No sooner than I sorted that out, I picked up a computer virus on my laptop. I tried the usual scans and tricks, but it’s not going away, so I had to run it into Staples to get the pros to fix it. I already do my security and tune ups, so this didn’t cost anything but time. I’m using the iPad mom gave me for Christmas. I didn’t want or need this thing, but mom wanted to treat me and my niece thought it’d be fun for me. It’s kind of an adjustment after always using a laptop. DS and I made a Costco run as we were out of all the drinks— my seltzer, DH’s Diet Coke and instant coffee, DS’s flavored water and some Lactaid milk. And gas. Nothing to actually eat, so DH took pity on me and took me out to my favorite local pub where I had a lovely salad and a tasty IPA.

    I have to do something with mom today. I hope she wants to food shop of something. It’s too hot to really go to the pool unless you stay in the water the entire time.


    HB

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member
    Morning, all quiet here except for an occasional squabble between Lilly and her son, Sammy (cats). Also heard some yelping this morning,- Wolf or coyote? Fed Gray Lady and topped off the water tanks. I'm watering the three big planters containing wild violets and caladiums. Also getting some water on one of the Heavenly Bamboo that isn't looking too good.Last years drought p!us all the huge, yellow grasshoppers have taken s toll last and this year. The only grass in the yard is crab grass at the back and North side. For some reason they don't eat it.
    Think I might steam some cauliflower, broccoli and carrots. Charles and I liked that with mashed potatoes. Also like it baked with a little ranch dressing. Sandy. Haven't tried it in the NuWave oven yet. It's nice out now, sunny and only 81.
    Anxious to see how things went last night with Sarah. I hope it works out. Todd seemed like he knew some about it and I suggested questions he might ask them.
    I hope everyone's okay this morning. Ron, thinking about you and hope you are well. I think someone mentioned banana pudding yesterday- Love that. Does anyone have a good way to keep bananas from turning too ripe so soon?
    Back later.

  • BethL
    BethL Member Posts: 838
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member
    edited July 6

    HB, what a day you had. So sorry! Plumbers are not cheap, nor are the HVAC people and electricians. I trust today will be a better day for you. Maybe you two will do a Costco run or a trip to Talbot's, as I know those are activities your mom enjoys.

    Lorita, your episode with the snake was frightening! So far this year, I've only seen one snake and it was a garter snake - harmless, but I don't like any snakes. We have very few venomous snakes in Iowa, and mainly in flint hills, bluffs and timbers. I live in town, so I don't really worry about it too much. With the pasture ground behind us disturbed by the tornado and the clean up (taking down many trees, etc), our wildlife is bound to change. I am thinking there won't be deer, as there is no cover. We did, however, see a fox in the pasture and it came into our yard last week.

    Iris, that's a nice plant and I'm glad you rescued it. I don't do houseplants at all, so I am no help in giving advice regarding its' care.

    Not much going on here. Just keeping busy in the garden, of course. The latest thing I am doing is edging the garden with a half moon edger (by hand). The guy on YouTube said it was easy - HA!

    Have a good weekend, everyone! Garden in the rain last week -

  • eaglemom
    eaglemom Member Posts: 521
    Legacy Membership 500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Beth the garden is beautiful. So peaceful and relaxing. I'll just pretend its mine!!

    HB you had quite the day. You need several days off. Ha - like that will happen, right?

    Iris I would have rescued the plant also. If you can save it great. I have very few plants inside, those that I do have I've had for quite some time. They are more memories for me than plants, if that makes any sense.

    Our one day of cool weather was wonderful. Its gone and hot is back. I just can't handle the heat at all. I don't get it. It never used to bother me too much, but the older I get the worse it bothers me. Then that frustrates me!!

    Just wanted to check on everyone. Be safe.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,306
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    I'm up. I have had two nights of fairly decent sleep, finally! BBL.

    Iris

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,353
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    @BethL no Costco for mom today. She’s too unaware of where she is in space to be there when it’s crowded on the weekend. I can’t handle the side-eye I get. No Talbots because I had a $25 reward and wanted to get myself something before it expired. When I bring her, I end up shopping for sizes for her and rehanging stuff she tries on. I snuck in and bought a nice denim shirt which will be shipped to my home so she doesn’t even know.

    I took her to Wegmans which she enjoys. We were there at least 90 minutes for her to not quite fill a small cart. We checked out in different lanes and when I went to meet up with her, she declined paying for the lousy paper bags planning to just put all the loose items in my car. I shut that craziness down and made her buy reusable bags. It’s nearly 100F today and there is no way I was carrying her stuff into the house by the one handful at a time. SMH.

    She’ll have a hair appointment Wednesday and maybe a pedi. Alas, her driver has gotten a real job.

    HB

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,672
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    HB I hope things get settled down.

    I luck out pretty well with the edging Beth, the guy who does my lawn take care of that for me. Thank you for sharing your garden pictures. I see the zinnias in there that’s my favorite flower. I planted lots of seniors this year and it was a mixed package so I’m getting lots of pretty colors. Have you ever had Datura’s? we had them when I lived at moms and they’re beautiful. Believe they are poisonous and I’ve heard they can be invasive. We never had trouble with that because we kept all but like one or two seed pods cut off and it has died out there. I’ve been trying to get one started here. This is his third year and it’s finally big and lush. The last two years was a little scrawny thing and I thought it must just not like it here. The bad thing is they bloom late in the evening and then up in the morning, the bloom dies. Bumblebees love them. It’s hard to believe how many bees I have now of all different sorts. Probably the first 2 to 3 years I lived here I could hardly ever even see a bee and it was a little discouraging. But I think they finally found me . I’ve seen a few butterflies. I have not seen any hummingbirds though.

    so far. My watermelon plant is looking great. It has lots of blooms so hopefully with all my little bees, I will get a few watermelon’s. It’s a learning process for me the first year I did get I think two melons, but they did not grow properly. hopefully maybe I can do better this year and most of all hopefully I can figure out when it’s ripe .

    eagle maybe when you get to feeling better you tolerate it better. I’ve noticed this year that I seem to tolerate it better than I had the last couple of years. Of course we don’t usually get any higher than the low to mid 90’s.

    oh HB you made me chuckle and that’s good. Talking about having to shut your mom’s craziness down. I am having to try and get better at that. I’m working on it. my mom really just doesn’t hardly do anything anymore. She had me to buy her potatoes probably a couple months ago she’s never cooked one potato. She keeps them sprouted and has them underneath a towel. They’re not smelling yet. Laugh out loud. The other day when I was getting her grocery list, she started to mention potatoes. I said mom I’m not buying you any potatoes. you haven’t cooked one of those potatoes I bought before. Then she had me to order her 3/12 ounce packages of bacon from this place and it’s an outlandish price. Plus you get all that Styrofoam containers and stuff they have to be disposed of and that drives me crazy. So I asked her if she bought the bacon to cook green beans and she told me yes. Well I had a feeling she would never get the green beans fixed and cooked. So I asked her I said if I strung the beans and snapped them , can you cook them them? Oh yeah. . Well, I got to thinking that’s not gonna happen either probably so I said do you want me to cook them too? that would be good she says. So what she would do is cook a big pot of green beans and she would eat like a serving out of them and she would freeze the rest. So I told her I said if I have time and I’m able, I will try to freeze you some green beans also oh yeah she would like that. So this morning I told her that I was going to be freezing some beans and I was going to put them in the freezer above the refrigerator. That I was not restarting up that big freezer down in the basement. Well, she went off on me. And I just told her I said, that is too much work for me and my sister. O we got that thing all cleaned up. We read up on how to leave it when not in use and we’re not going back there. So I hope I learned my lesson. I’m not gonna tell her anything I’m doing anymore. That makes me feel really bad because it’s really the only thing you even have to talk to her about but when you do you just get these crazy reactions, and , no thought at all for how much trouble it is for you, how much you’re putting out to do this. So I told my sister I’m just going to go ahead and freeze them and I’m gonna take them over there and not say a word, and just put them up in that freezer. I’m not even sure how often she ever even gets into that freezer. She does once in a while but not very often so hopefully it’ll take her a while to discover it. Lol . If she gets feisty enough to find her way to the basement and get that all hooked up and turned on well, I guess my sister and I are stuck but I don’t think that probably will happen. She’ll just Keep fussing at me and that’s OK. There’s a few other things I hope to get straightened up over there too.

    hope each one gets a good nights rest

  • David1946
    David1946 Member Posts: 667
    500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Good afternoon all. My wife and I spent the "Fourth of July" in N.H. with her daughter and family it was fantastic.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Mint, Datura is the same as Gypsum weed and is a hallucinogenic related to nightshade. We used to have them and they are pretty and bloom at night. We called them.Moonflowers. One of the social workers had them and would bring one to work occasionally. They would wilt before too long. I remember we used to have some of them down by the pond. Daddy called them Gypsum weeds and said he was always afraid the cows might eat them. Guess he got rid of them. Be careful of them.

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,306
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    The sky was overcast due to residue from the many fireworks. But now, in the evening, the sky is clearing. It's not as hot as yesterday. I'm just chilling

    Iris!

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,672
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member
    edited July 7

    good morning everyone

    Lorita I have heard of gypsum, but had no idea that it was Datura. It is a very beautiful flower for sure. I am always aware of its properties. I didn’t really know it was hallucinogenic. I just knew it wasn’t good for you. My Datura makes a tall spread out pretty shaped plant. I see a lot of them here which appear to be like my plant, but they just spread all over the place and run along the ground. I don’t really see any that look like mine. The seed for mine originally came from a neighbor who went to Texas in the winter time. He talk like they were pretty invasive there and kind a hard to control but like I said, we’ve not had trouble, but we do keep the seat pads got off except for one or so.

    I have a beautiful foxglove blooming. It’s a very pretty purple. Years ago my neighbor lady shared one with me and it did well it reseeded but then it died out and I never could really get it started again. I have tried several different times. This year I noticed a real pretty plant and I thought I’m going to buy that and try again. It has done really well so I’m gonna let it seed and maybe it’ll reseed itself we’ll see. The original plant usually dies after they bloom. They are biennials. I don’t know if any varieties are annuals or not..

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 796
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Morning. Yesterday was cooler with a light breeze. We had 13 geese, one lone duck that hangs with them ??, and a blue heron on the front pond. The barn swallows have still got babies to hatch on the front porch column and they are all swooping around waiting. A couple hummingbirds on the front feeders. We haven't seen many yet. Seems late not to have them yet. Lots of bees on the bee balm out front - I hope to plant more of that next year.

    Frick/Frack the chicken is hanging in there. She is still caged on the covered patio and I hand fed her some banana yesterday. She also has a fan. I can't let her out in the backyard because of the huge hawk that lives at the back pond/fencerow. He would snatch her up and eat her. But maybe I can wrangle that cage out to the grass for a while today.

    The cookout gathering went OK. Too much food and too little organization, but I guess that's ok. These are DH's grands. There was also alcohol, which I don't allow at family gatherings at my house. Not when the littles are around. We left before the fireworks. Sadly a 30 year old man near here was killed in a fireworks accident the other day. Several taken to the hospital around here with other injuries.

    HB, you've really had a time of it lately. Sending good vibes your way.

    Have a good day everyone, BBL.

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Morning, watching Sunday morning news shows. Rain to the west of us. Judith is probably getting it now. Darwin called and he's going to stay in today.

    today

  • BethL
    BethL Member Posts: 838
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Mint, I think I tried moonflower years ago in a "moon garden." A moon garden is all white plants bunched together that look beautiful at night. I, too, love foxglove. I planted some a few years ago. They have re-seeded. This year, I have many "babies" which are presumably from the seeds from last year, or perhaps this year - not sure. They were growing in way too thick, so I dug up around 20 of them and transplanted them in another location. One thing I don't like about them is they get so tall that they need to be staked. If all of mine flower next year, I'll need more plant stakes!

    We're getting heavy rain this morning. Not stormy, just rainy. There go my plans to continue edging the garden today. (It's a multi-day project; my garden is huge).

    We had the kids/grands over last night and hubby grilled Polish sausage. Accompanying that was potato salad, coleslaw, watermelon and cherry pie with ice cream. It was an easy fix meal for me. Hubby grilled, I cut the melon up and made the pie; the two salads were from the grocery store. Iowa sweet corn is coming on now and available at some farm stands. It's the best! Can't wait to get my hands on some! I enjoy summer foods.

    JeriLynn, hope your chicken's eye heals and she can get back to her usual routines. Sorry your gathering wasn't exactly the way you wished for it to be. Probably the only way for it to change is for your DH to talk with his kids/grandkids and set expectations. Could result in hurt feelings, though, so he might not be willing to do that. Be easy on yourself, you have a lot on your plate. The estate seems to be consuming. Is there land/a house to deal with? When my mom passed away, it was pretty straight forward. We'd taken steps when she was alive but ill (dementia) to legally avoid probate, and I'd already sold the house and placed that $ in her accounts. We had also done the pre paid funeral arrangements. (I should do the same to make things easier for my kids!) The hard thing with her property was when we had to clean out her house (before she passed, so it could be sold.) 4 or 5 big dumpsters, 8 large trash bags for donations, "dealers" in to buy individual items, and at the very last, a company that deals in estates came in and bought everything that was left.

    Time to move along and get ready for church.

    Beth

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,353
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes
    Member

    Another scorcher today. Wind has shifted to the NNE so the humidity should be a little less oppressive. It’s a good day to be indoors.

    @Mint what is it about little old ladies and their potatoes? Mother had a couple creamers grow extensive eyes, so she suspended them in bulb vases and fester on her kitchen counter for a month or so before an urgent call asking for a ride to Rite Aid to buy them pots for them so she could pot the up as Easter presents. She bought 6 random 1qt. pots that lived on the opposite counter from the plants for a month.

    I finally asked why she hadn’t potted them and she admitted to not having potting soil. Not once on any of our forays into the supermarket or garden center was a need for soil mentioned. I brought a bag next time I was in the area and she shared her plan to pot them up to give away at Mother’s Day. Around that time, I took her to the garden center to let her pick out a massive hanging basket and some annuals. I also took her to Joann Fabric to buy fabric, a pillow and wreath in a spring theme to zhuzh up her little front porch. These pieces are all white, purple with a bit of yellow in a pansy theme.

    The next time I came buy, she’d potted her mangy little potatoes in a terracotta faux southwestern pot and inserted it into her carefully curated (as in I spent over an hour with her dithering about picking just the right pieces) tableau. FTR, she had several pots from which she could have picked that wouldn’t have been as glaringly awful. I have no idea what ever became of the 6 pots she insisted she needed in March but they’ve been moved off the counter. The spuds died and she tossed them so at least I don’t have to look at them anymore. She’s moved her Montespan babies into the bulb vases, so I anticipate a repeat at some point.

    HB

  • David1946
    David1946 Member Posts: 667
    500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    edited July 7

    Good morning, another hazy hot and humid day. We have central a/c my wife does not like to use it unless it's extremely hot so today we turned it on due to the weather.

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,672
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member
    edited July 7

    We have had fireworks three nights straight. I’m hoping they’re over with. I don’t like all the noise because it’s about my bedtime. Who I really feel sorry for those people like Ron that it really affects them mentally people just don’t think about that I guess.

    Beth, I looked into it, and there are annual foxgloves. Interestingly enough, they are shorter and they’re frequently purple i read. Mine is probably only about 3 to 4 feet tall. Also the leaves that formed the base are smaller and less coarse than what I remember the biennials being so I’m guessing this is an annual. What I can’t find out though is if annuals reseed themselves. Guess there’s one way to find out let them go to seed and wait.

    Oh my HB. I am very lucky I guess that my mom is not a hoarder. She’s the opposite she’s given a lot of way including money. Also, she takes no interest in doing anything which is not good in a way. I think some of the complaints that I have to listen to are due to boredom. At the same time the things you talk about make me realize that her doing nothing is not really something I guess to complain a lot about.

    today when I got there, her fitted sheet, gown, two large bath towels, and a few washcloths we’re all smelling like urine. We do now have a P pad in between the sheet and the mattress protector. The urine did not appear to have gotten to it. I couldn’t see any stains and it had no smell so wasn’t too bad to deal with. we know if we put it on the top, which is where we would like to put it, she will definitely remove it for sure. That has been tried. She prefers to use bath towels. But at least this way only the fitted sheet gets wet and maybe the pee pad, I’m sure will eventually. But she can’t remove it unless she remakes the bed. We didn’t think she would do that and she hasn’t. Most mornings that I’m there I make her bed. Because if it’s not made by the time I get there, I make it because I’m not dealing with it in the evening. One night she called my sister at home and told her the bed needed made. I washed her towels at her house, and I brought the other things to my house so that I would not have to stay there longer to get them washed. I didn’t ask her I just did it.

    I also put green beans in the freezer, no I did not tell her. I don’t believe she will take them downstairs and put them in the big freezer and get the big freezer going, when she discovers them. She was having us to bring everything from that freezer upstairs before we got it empty and cleaned up. So if she would do that, we know we had the wool pulled over our eyes. My sister said if she does I’m bringing them right back upstairs. I also went around to the east side of the house where I can’t mulch because it’s a stone mulch, full of weeds and I sprayed the weeds. Yes I did and no I didn’t tell her. I have asked in the past and I’ve always been told no she doesn’t want anything sprayed. Hopefully I am learning to just do what needs to be done and don’t say anything just do it. My next step is to get an HVAC guy to hopefully service the air conditioning and for sure the furnace. One less responsibility on my shoulders. I am not telling her, he’s just going to come. I’m just gonna say he’s the HVAC guy and he’s going to service some things. I’m going to tell him not to mention that air conditioner just work on it then when you go in the house and test it say nothing oh boy I hope it goes well.

    Not too bad here David

  • ronald71111
    ronald71111 Member Posts: 1,213
    Tenth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    When dies it stop? I've tried being more active and involved more with church, but each day I'm worse. Friday night at the men's dinner at the church I broke down. Again this morning during Sunday School I started getting teary-eyed and desided to miss worship service. Goid thing I did because I cried all the way home. I miss Lou so much that I pray to God every day that he brings me up to be with her. Even though she was more of a burden on me each day she was with me, she was with me! I can't even write this without crying......…sorry.

    I'm thinking about calling VA Psychologist tommorow! I just want to be able to come and visit here with my front porch friends again and be cheerful.

    Ron

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Rain is almost here. It's dark and thundering. I decided to take down the trash, then filled the water tanks. The girls, at least not all, haven't gone into the bsrn. I see the youngest baby laying East of the barn.

    Mint, I think you have found the right answer to the problem you have with your mother not wanting you to do things. Hope it continues to work.

    HB, were those regular potatoes or sweet potatoes? Never heard of potting a white potato. The sweet potatoes make beautiful vines.

    - Still no rain-can't imagine us missing it. Toad fertilizer a couple of days ago so we need some rain. Baby is still there. There are some cows in the shàde not far away so guess one of them is his mot

  • Mint
    Mint Member Posts: 2,672
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Just go ahead and cry it’s OK to cry. Not only did you lose the love of your life but you’ve also had a lot of your own personal stress that you never really had time to deal with.
    It’s OK to go to church and cry and it’s OK to sit on the front porch and cry. Before you probably never had time to cry, and now you have a lot of crying to do. There is nothing weak about crying. It’s a way our body has to help us heal, is how I feel.

    This is just a personal feeling, but I think if you continue to do things that you had a connection to such as church and here on the porch etc. that even though it’ll still take time, I think it does help with the healing process. It helps to talk about it and I know for sure here on the front porch we’re ready to listen. Talking about it I think also helps us to heal. You don’t have to do this all by yourself. it is also OK when you feel like it to go on with your life, but that may take a while. You might find something to volunteer at where you would be around people, maybe there are some friends that you could meet with once a week for lunch or dinner, take a job, one or two days a week etc. Do you like to fish? I find getting out and working in my garden, fishing things, like that, very therapeutic for my mind. Hopefully, maybe you can find something that’s therapeutic for your mind.. sorry that you’re having to go through this part of life, it’s not easy

  • loveskitties
    loveskitties Member Posts: 1,073
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Dear Ron, being cheerful is not a requirement on this front porch.

    Sharing your burden and grief with those who care about you may help.

    There is no timeline for grief…but the sting can lessen in time.

    Don't despair, come be with us and let us try to help. We have all loved someone who is no longer with us and understand.

    Hugs in bunches, Marie

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,757
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    edited July 7

    here,,,

    yes, the rain was here along with a power outage…yea Generac

    Ron…we all come here to share and that means all emotions. You are devastated, depressed, lonely, angry and more. This thread was started years ago when Lorita needed someone to talk to and it was not about food, cows or the weather.

    To answer your question, its does not stop. Thankfully the pain decreases and the grief walks quietly next to us. We function but are forever changed.

    She and I have continued to share …lost husbands…illness …everything. We know you are not "OK", How could you be so just let it all out. Lots of kleenex on the porch!!!

    off to another family meeting

  • Iris L.
    Iris L. Member Posts: 4,306
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    We have clear blue skies here in SoCal today, and it's not too hot.

    I didn't get my Sunday newspaper today, I really enjoy reading my papers so I really missed it!

    Iris

  • David1946
    David1946 Member Posts: 667
    500 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Iris I used to my Sunday paper delivered but I had to cancel it because I couldn't get it delivered where I wanted it. I asked to have it left at the side door I use a rollator and it was left at the end of the driveway and it was hard for me to walk down the driveway

  • Lorita
    Lorita Member Posts: 4,309
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Ron, you know we're here any time you need to talk or just visit. Many of us have been through what you're going through now. As Judith said, the grief is always with us and can reappear at any time.

    When I lost Charles I was alone and this thread got me through the bad times. I got Sheena two months later and Stormy the next month and that along with feeding and caring for 50 head of cattle got me through those first months.I had the GPs and a Shih Tzu and two cats for company. I know you miss Little Bit but you might think about getting another pet to keep you company. We all care about you and want to help in any way we can.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more