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I need advice or someone to talk to. How did/do you manage what helps?

Earlier this year my father who is a 64 year old veteran was diagnosed with early onset dementia. It’s been very difficult for me. I feel so alone and kinda almost ready to give up but I know I can’t do that. We have been in the hospital for over a month. waiting for a memory care unit at the va to let us know when he can be moved. I feel like I am bothering my family and friends whenever I talk about this. What helps you? Any advice for me?

Comments

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,187
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    Member

    Hi shakeshannonshake - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

    Unfortunately, a lot of family and friends just don't understand the entire gravity of the situation. What has helped me a lot is this forum. Believe me, we understand, probably more than we wanted to. None of 'this' is easy, but early-onset is the most unexpected.

    Is paperwork in order - DPOA and HIPAA accesses? That is an important first-step.

    Your father is blessed to have you watching out for him.

  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 137
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    Member

    Hi,

    Welcome. Sorry you are here. But yes this forum has helped a lot. A lot of knowledge and support here.

    This is very hard disease to deal with especially without family support makes it much harder.

    Know that you are not alone others are here trying to navigate and get thru this.

    Also the VA will help you get POA and all those things you need.

    keep reaching out.

  • tkmckay57
    tkmckay57 Member Posts: 1
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    Member
    I was just diagnosed with symptoms of early onset set Alzheimers. I am scared, lonely and scared. I have not seen my 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren in 3 years. With how much I am forgetting, I am afraid I will not remember them. I pray. But I live in one bedroom of my parents house. My Dad is here, but that's not somebody I want to cry and snot on! Lol
  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,187
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    Member

    Hi @tkmckay57 I'm really sorry for your news. My mom has alz, and I do my best to not dwell on the fact that it gives me a higher chance of 'it'.

    Please read Wendy Mitchell's books, and there is a section in this forum for those who are diagnosed. There are meds and things you can do that will help you for a while longer.

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 400
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    Member

    I understand the feeling of being a bother to family and friends. My mom's brothers in particular just really don't want to hear about it, nor do they want to visit and face the reality of mom's decline. I don't pressure them. I try to remember that they are seniors too so I can be respectful. Their regrets, if they have any, will be their own.

    In the meantime, this forum has been a blessing to find people who have walked the walk and truly understand. You might try checking with the Alzheimers Association to see if there is an in-person support group in your area. Or even your local association on aging to find general caregiver support.

  • Trube0311
    Trube0311 Member Posts: 1
    First Comment
    Member
    Hello everyone,
    My husband, 64, has early-stage Alzheimer and while still taking care of my 16 and 6-year-old grandchildren, I am taking care of my husband. Children and ALZ do not mix well. My husband is sensitive to loud noise and children do not know the words quiet, please. I am constantly trying to juggle my husband and the girls. I am glad to have found this group because a Support Group is not to be found in Middle Tennessee, where I live. I treasure the times when the girls are in school and I can spend quiet time with my husband, while I still can.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more