Guns

johnnij

Hi my father is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. We live in rural Alaska and he has always had an arsenal of guns in our home. He always carries one with him everywhere we go. He hasn’t given me any reason or worries about his guns. He also hasn’t shot them in almost year or so. But I know there is going to be a day sooner or later where I’ll have to remove them from his home. He was the most stubborn person I’ve ever met before the Alzheimer’s and now even more so with it. I just have no idea how I’m going to take his guns from him. He sleeps with one on his bedside every night. He has around 8-10 guns some are in a big safe and some on the wall of his cabin. I’m just so lost on how I’m going to convince him to let me sell them or just remove them from the home. He is still extremely self sufficient and can take care of himself. If there’s any advice anyone could give me I’d really appreciate it. I’m 28 and I’m his only child willing to take care of him. My husband didn’t grow up around guns so he has hasn’t been able to help me with this matter either.

charley0419

I wish I had answers I’m still dealing a yr later with her not driving. Someone will have answers for you. Good luck

clarinetist

This is tough, but you’re right; you will need to get rid of his guns. Later in the disease he could get aggressive or confused and accidentally shoot someone. The bedside gun and the one he carries with him are the ones I’d be most worried about.

My husband was a hunter and knew he had Alzheimer’s so I was able to persuade him to donate them to the local police department. In your case, you might be able to slowly reduce the arsenal. Could he be persuaded to donate some to the police or to a hunter’s ed class? Can you get the key to the gun safe and then “lose” the key (after removing the guns)? Can you tell him you need a gun to protect yourself and ask him for one on the wall? If he has short-term memory problems, you could keep doing that. Can you disable the guns and take away the disabled part? Not sure how to do that, but you could ask a local gun shop.

Hope one of these suggestions works for you. Kudos to you for thinking ahead.

JDancer

Can you start by removing the bullets? Would he notice? If you can get all the bullets out, maybe a couple guns can stay.

DWTired

I purchased fake movie blanks and put in his gun…he is none the wiser!

ronda b

Fake movie blanks sounds like a great idea. If he is a a gun person he will occasionally check to see if it's still loaded

fmb

One drawback to using blanks is the chance that he might be brandishing a gun causing someone else with a loaded weapon to think he was an actual threat and shooting first. While I realize this is not a likely scenario, people are killed by police for showing a realistic looking fake gun, for example.

Though not hunters, DH and I both owned firearms. As he became more frail and I realized that something was wrong cognitively (before we even had the ALZ diagnosis), I suggested that we sell them. Fortunately he agreed.

Chammer

Do you have someone who could remove the firing pins?

Victoriaredux

If the police are called for any reason - at home or out -and he is wearing or near a gun that could end in tragedy. Dementia is an uneven but progressive disease - he could hear a noise and think he needs to shoot or go outside to look.

If the item looks like a gun the police or a neighbor answering a cry for help aren't going to know/care if maybe there are fake bullets or no firing pin. Would you give a toddler to pre-teen a gun ?

Is he still driving? I'd look at his car/truck for little dents - from near misses , if you can follow him driving in different situations— how is his braking, turn signalling, speed control.

Dementia can involve visual distortions so that can impact driving and yes, gun accuracy also.

He won't be able to live alone until the end for safety so planning for live-in care 24/7 or placement down the road should be considered now. Getting him to give you the legal documents now will save getting guardianship later. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this disease .

SDianeL

my husband had one gun and I asked him to let our son-in-law put it in his safe (not give it to him). That worked. I got him to quit driving by telling him that if he was in an accident we could be sued and lose everything. I would start with the one he wears and the one by the bed. Tell him if an accident happens he could be sued and lose everything. This is a tough one. You may need to fib.

tigersmom

This is going to sound counterintuitive, but have you brought this up with him? My DH had two pistols and two rifles. Four months after he was diagnosed, he told me he wanted to get rid of them. Since I knew nothing about this and we live in a very restrictive state, I took some work on my part to figure out how to do that. But by the end of January, it was done. I think we think they will remember things are gone and be upset, but that sure wasn’t my experience. YMMV.

debriesea

I don’t have a solution but can only share what happened to me. My DH was in mild stage and I was wondering when/how to get his few guns out of the house. He hasn’t used them in a few years. I came home, opened the bedroom door just as a shot went off. My DH was at the other end of the room facing me, holding his hand gun (he was trying to take the clip out). The bullet went diagonally through the bed. If it was pointed a little higher it would have hit me.
I said, “What are you doing?” That’s when he said he was taking the clip out. I left and went across the driveway to my daughter, visibly shaken. We called my son, he came over and my son & daughter took all guns & his knives to put in my son’s gun case. DH was upset & didn’t understand why everything was taken so quickly but my daughter made him realize how shook up and scared I was.
Guns must go sooner (NOW) than later.
It took me a day to respond to you because I wasn’t ready to write this. My heart is pounding now at the memory and I’m close to tears.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230203#Comment_230203

great idea! I removed the bullets from the guns in our house. But the fake ones are an idea I hadn’t thought about.

jsps139_

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230336#Comment_230336

How horrific! Thank you so much for gathering the courage to share your experience. We don’t have guns, but this should help the many that do. We deal with so much and getting shot should not be on that list. The hardest decisions are the most important and necessary ones.

Victoriaredux

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230368#Comment_230368

The issue is why have guns? If not for self protection - and fake bullets aren't that- how would the police know if called to the house for a PWD being aggressive? It can't end well.

Better to just get the guns locked up or removed .

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230390#Comment_230390

Good point.

Jo C.

Victoria is on spot . . . the actual gun itself, without ammunition inside, can easily be seen by someone else as a real threat which can be the cause of a horrible preventable tragedy.

Removal of the gun(s) is the safest solution. This of course should be done when he is not around to see the dynamics in progress. Later, he may be upset, he may carry on, but that will be limited and it is about safety, actual life issues and preventable potential tragedies on multiple levels. We sometimes have to make very difficult decisions for our LOs whose judgment has become impaired to one degree or another; this appears to be one of those situations. (Myself, I would not hesitate and I was raised in the UP of Michigan where rifles and hunting are common.)

Eventually, the carrying on will run its course and possible tragedy will have been prevented. No other way to ensure that all will be well and nothing tragic happening "by accident," or by intent in a fit of anger/upset or by someone else who will not know the firearm has no ammunition. Also, removing bullets is not always sufficient; amazing how ammunition can turn up, even if only a few bullets - even just one could be deadly.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this; once done in removing the firearm and time moves on, it will no longer be an issue.

J.

BPS

If he is not willing to give them up can you have a lock smith change the combination on the safe and put all his guns in it. Then when he wants to get in and it won't open you can tell him you will have the lock smith come back but he is busy so it will be a while.

JoseyWales

My DH accidentally shot a gun in our house one night. I was sleeping, he was sitting on the side of the bed next to me, our son was sleeping directly above us on the second floor. Luckily the shot went out a window, but any of us could have easily been killed. There's nothing as scary as waking up because a gun goes off right by your head. This was shortly before he was finally diagnosed with dementia. After his diagnosis, I was able to convince him that the gun should be on my side of the bed in case of emergencies, and I'd be able to get it and give it to him if needed. I think it helped that he had accidentally fired the gun and still had enough memories to know it wasn't safe for him to have easy access. I hid the gun from him. He'd ask to see the gun all the time, just to check on it.

I convinced DH to lock up all the other guns (LOTS, DH was a gun collector and hunter) in the gun safes. I hid the keys. As the disease progressed I was able to make up lots of fibs about the guns, and sold most of them.