Self-care (for the caregivers)

KnitHappens

I'm helping to care for a parent (ALZ) with my sister. Mom even lives in a retirement community (still independent living) so day to day I do have my own life. It is still so hard. I went to visit for lunch today and now feel exhausted and can't refocus on work. I can't even imagine how much more difficult if I had her in my home, etc.

How do you take care of your mental health? What helps you to still get things done for yourself? What suggestions do you have for me as I know I'm just at the beginning of this journey?

SusanB-dil

Hi KnitHappens - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Sometimes you just need to step away for a bit - even if it is only for a day or two. I have my handcrafts that I can do while still being there for MIL (such as knitting), that I can sort of 'lose myself' into. Maybe do set up an appointment to speak with someone - therapy, counselor, or minister might help…

yes - it can be overwhelming. Sorry you are dealing with 'this'.

--Rebecca--

Accepting the situation, and letting go of the impulse to fix every thing. Taking periodic time off. Letting go of how I expect holidays to look.

Analyzing situations with self care in mind. For example, I only visit my dad in memory care when I am rested, and I only visit for less than one hour.

Making decisions on the fly is exhausting. So creating rules makes things easier for me. Some of my examples:

I call him at 7. If he exhausts me, it's toward the end of the day.

I do not drive long distance and see my dad when I immediately roll into town.

If he gets rude, I do not engage, I say it's time for me to go, and I leave.