Showering /refusing/thinking they have

Mollyjohnson_88

I am a caregiver ,been one for 5 years. I have not ever came across anyone with this type of situation before. My client refuses to shower. She states that she already has taken one either morning or night but has not. Family has cameras up that proves she does not shower. I have used many tactics as to we can go to dinner if you shower, we was outside getting dirty we need to shower. She gets upset and yells ,how many showers do I need to take to make everyone happy. I can stay in the shower all day. Her memory fades about every 15 minutes. I always take a break from asking doing distractions then revisit the questions a different way and still puts up a fight. She also does this to family and friends. She doesnt show fear of the shower ,once I get her in she's fine and most of that upset fades. She never wants to get out once we are in the shower. Any tips to help are gratefully appreciated.

MN Chickadee

This is common in the progression of dementia; I'm surprised you haven't seen it in other clients. Arguing, reasoning, presenting evidence of her needing to bathe will not work. Her mind cannot process that, and she probably does believe she just took a shower so there's no point in trying to convince her otherwise. If she was the type of lady who used to get her hair done at the salon, perhaps you'll find she will let you shampoo the hair in the sink and you will only need to do the bath routine once or twice a week. Some find bribing works (lets get washed up and then I have some special ice cream for you etc) or saying let's get washed up before we go to the restaurant. A certain time of day may be better.  Try having her wear  a swim suit, t-shirt, or drape towels and let them get wet, since modesty can be a issue. It doesn't need to be a perfect bath or shower, anything is better than nothing. We have some members who's loved on stops bathing completely and they do sponge baths for months. Usually in the later stages when they are more bed bound though. Keeping a calm soothing tone, being prepared with everything you need ahead of time, making sure you are the uncomfortable one (you should be hot in the bathroom, not her being cold.) Call it a spa day, we're going to spoil ourselves. A girls day, maybe you bought some special spa stuff. See if you can find that certain key to unlock it - something she is afraid of or something that makes it more appealing, And if not, you may just have to put up with her being cross about it.

There are some links I found helpful about techniques that may or may not be of use to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl3Dc1kERto

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/bathing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKT9YIVPREE

Kat63

All the above advice is great. In addition, if you get along with her well, you might say I don’t get paid if I don’t give you a shower when I’m here. Do you want me to get paid? I know our hospice aide didn’t this with my DH and it worked in him.

Mollyjohnson_88

I have tried using spa like treatment, new soap ,lovely smelling soap. To her sister picking her up for lunch. She doesnt mind getting naked front of me so that's not an issue. She swears shes taken one either that morning or night before. And says how many showers does someone need to take in a day. Her daughter has it on her phone as a reminder to take one and her daughter has tried also and client always says I can shower ten times a day and they'll never be happy. Ive used insurance company doesnt pay if she doesnt shower. She absolutely refuses or will get so mad in frustration and will shower. She used to shower just fine with me helping and was always a dressed to the nines person. Every client ive ever had never had this type of issue or even had bad dementia like she does. Thanks for all the advice

tawnyport