Recently Admitted Father to MC, and wondering if it gets easier

amdenny4702

Hi, I'm pretty new to the discussions here. Last week, my father was taken by ambulance to the hospital due to a heart issue he had at a McDonalds at 6AM. When he was admitted to the hospital, it was obvious to the staff that he should no longer be living alone. I believed he could go on living by himself, thinking that the delusions were limited to phone calls with me. I have found out over time, he'd been going to the bank with delusions, knocking on neighbors doors at 4AM asking for packages I'd sent, and several other things confirming I've made the right decision. I worked to get him into MC in 3 days, and got him moved there with the help of the hospital staff and the MC staff by telling him he needed to be there for rehab. After a week, he can only fixate on getting out still and our conversations are only about going "home". I try to redirect, but there is no getting past the fixation on leaving MC. I know it's different for everyone, but what's been your experience in trying to contact your LOs? Does it get easier? How long does it take for someone to settle into MC? I'm really struggling emotionally, and any hope could be helpful.

CaliforniaGirl-1

First, it does get better. You did the right thing making sure he was safe. It seems to be often true that we underestimate how far along our loves ones are and over estimate how capable they still are. Particularly when we mostly see them in a familiar environment.

Many MCs want you to limit contact for a week or two so the new resident can acclimate. It can take a months for them to really acclimate. But PWD have asked when can they go home when they are already home.

The hardest transition is to internalize that you are doing what is best to make your LO safe and they are not going to be able to buy in to it.. But think about what could have happened with him wandering around with delusions and walking around at 4am and possibly getting lost or hurt. You made a hard decision out of love.

SusanB-dil

Hi amdenny - Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

You could try to tell him it is temporary. 'The doctor says you are here for some rehab.' 'His house is being worked on due to a watermain break and needs to be repaired.' Repeat as necessary, and whatever works.

Very often, wanting to 'go home' can be a sense of security and comfort, rather than an actual place.

Agree - it does get better, and you will always be there for him and be his advocate. He is safe, and cared for 24/7. That is what most folks cannot do alone.