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Holes in the walls

Ossom
Ossom Member Posts: 42
10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
Member
in Caring for a Parent

Our father has been cutting out holes in the walls, creating a significant challenge for my sister and I. We have so many repairs to do after he dies.

We have found that taking away tools does not deter him from causing damage, as he resorts to using alternative objects, such as metal rods or other items he can find in the house. This behavior creates an unsafe living environment for our father and ourselves. There is nothing we can do about this for now.

Over the past few years our father has been engaging in "construction and renovations" throughout the house, causing half of the residence to be without power.

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Comments

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 506
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    Can this be reported to the local Adult Protective Services? He obviously cannot live alone, as he is a danger to himself and others. If he is unwilling to be placed in the care of a family member, the state an appoint a guardian will take over his care.

  • Ossom
    Ossom Member Posts: 42
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Thank you for your concern and offer to help. In our case, we have already reached out to the authorities and Adult Protective Services (APS) multiple times, and they have been unresponsive to our pleas for assistance. They have even threatened us when we tried to ask for help in ensuring our father's well-being.

    Despite the fact that our father is a danger to himself and others, APS claims that he has "constitutional rights" and that we should leave him alone. This stance is not only surprising but also deeply concerning, as it appears that their priority is not the welfare of our father but rather upholding his perceived rights.

    As you mentioned, if our father is unwilling to be placed in the care of a family member, the state may appoint a guardian to take over his care. However, in our experience, this process can be lengthy and difficult, especially when dealing with authorities who are unwilling to intervene in situations where a loved one is in need of care and protection.

    We understand that navigating these challenges can be overwhelming and frustrating, but we appreciate your empathy and support as we continue to advocate for our father's well-being. If you have any additional resources or advice for dealing with unresponsive authorities and APS, please don't hesitate to share them with us.

    Take care, and thank you once again for your concern and offer to help. We're grateful to have a community like this to lean on during these challenging times.

  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 169
    100 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Due to case loads , APS tends to just step in when there is abuse , homelessness or financial fraud. Have you talked to an elder law attorney?

    Yes they are pricey but burning down the house or getting sued by neighbors in this insurance world would be worse . The attorney can advise how to get the guardianship ball rolling. They may be able to get an emergency guardianship and when your father is under that he can be examined by Doctors. He'd be assigned his own attorney to represent his interests prior to the final hearing.

    Probate court is its own world and having a lawyer gets you taken more seriously.

    You can also talk to the Alz Assoc hot line.

    "The Alzheimer’s Association is here all day, every day for people facing Alzheimer’s and other dementia through our free 24/7 Helpline (800.272.3900). Talk to a dementia expert now and get confidential emotional support, local resources, crisis assistance and information in over 200 languages. It's ok if you don't know where to start. Just give us a call and we'll guide you from there."

  • Ossom
    Ossom Member Posts: 42
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    edited December 2024
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/231898#Comment_231898

    We've been threatened by the police and APS, even when we provided them with evidence of his diagnosis and concerning behaviors.

     

    As you mentioned, guardianship is a crucial step in securing the necessary care and treatment for our father.

    Currently we have a legal conservatorship/will pending but it requires the signatures of two physicians.

    Unfortunately, our father has refused to visit a doctor, making it difficult to move forward with this legal process.

    We are now currently waiting for an ambulance visit to the hospital, which would provide us with the opportunity to seek further assistance in managing his care.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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