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Long vent, sorry in advance...
In 2021 my grandparents moved my great aunt into the same apartment complex as me, less than a year after my mother passed away suddenly (and without warning) back in 2020. I was instantly forced into caring for my aunt without any sort of discussion. So now I am 35 and am currently the main caretaker for my 94 year old…
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She is the Love of My Life, will she come back for a moment?
My DW, first showed signs of mild cog impairment during covid, July of 2020. Sill very mild what everyone thought was stress related. Then in 2/2022 we both were infected with a severe. Case of covid with brain fog, that I have been able to recover from. Not so luck has been my DW, although I have made many efforts since…
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Feeling Guilty/Stressed
Hi Everyone - first time here. My father had a stroke last March and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia....he is around Stage 4-5. I am an only child and we had to move him in with my family....Husband and 2 kids (13 and 11). It's been a little over a year and it's really taking a toll on me. My job is being really…
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Out of ideas
My Mom has been in memory care almost a year now. It will be a year the first week of September. She was in AL at the same facility for about six weeks before they insisted she be moved to MC. She was wandering at night and anxious most of the time. Once in MC, there was a transition phase, but it didn't have anything to…
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Sad and caring formy mom 4 years
I'm new here. I've been caring for my 85 year old mom who was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimers in 2021. She just started asking about her mom, my grandmother every night, who I also cared for when I was a teenager right out of high school when my mom was working back in the early 1980's. My grandmother passed away in…
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Emotional Abuse
Hi there, This is my first post and, I'm really desperate for help or advice. I am moving cross country to care for and support my mother who was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's (though, I think this has been progressing over the last several years). I am doing everything I can to help her and it never seems like enough or…
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New definition of a bad day
Found DH on his hands and knees in the bathroom with poop everywhere. He was trying to clean it up by putting chunks down the shower drain. I managed to get that stopped and got him in the shower while I cleaned up the floor and the toilet. Then I scrubbed him thoroughly and got him dried and dressed. Then I started the…
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pity party day, week, month...
DH was diagnosed with EOAD (age 61) November 2021 after a lumbar puncture. He was MCI at the time. Currently he his solid stage 5 with stage six leanings. He does not shadow, he is velcro. Can't follow simple commands or remember anything for longer than a couple of minutes. Still continent, but the hygiene is out the…
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Where do I Start?
I need to figure out where to start. I’ve got to have some extended “me” time. He drives me crazy with repeated questions, IPhone issues, wet pants, confusion, deliriums, pacing, rubbing his hands, running interference with his truck (I don’t let him drive) and scammers. My life is exhausting. I’m falling into the abyss…
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So very weary...
Visited DH today for a couple of hours. Not very responsive, couldn't get him to look toward me while taking a picture. Last week he was tapping his hands on everything (table, his legs, etc.) Now he's rubbing the palms of his hands constantly. Then he started rubbing my hands. Aide says he is eating everything but has to…
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Traveling with AD, asking for help, lonely journey, how to cope?
Hi, I am new to this group. I am actively looking for help now. For the past 6 months, I have been struggling to care for my partner who is in moderate stage AD. Prior to that I was caring for her, but I was not so stressed about it. We are on a vacation now out of state after staying home for about one year, since the…
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Suggestions PLEASE
Hello everyone! This my first post, as a matter of fact, this is the first time I am dealing with someone with dementia. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I recently came to stay at a shelter, as I lost my house. This was 2 months ago. It's a small shelter, at present, there is just myself and another person, who has…
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How do you process your thoughts, feelings, and slow burning grief?
Hi everyone. I’m new here. So glad I found this online community. The last three years have been super intense. From my mother getting diagnosed to losing her job to hiring at-home care, and the moving to assisted living in Jan 2023. This is a short summary, of course. But now she needs 24/7 supervision and it’s just SO…
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Therapeutic Lie
Hi everybody! I was looking for some advice on how to explain to my mom (60 with ALZ) the idea of starting to go to an adult day care program. There’s this wonderful program that’s 5 minutes away from us, in a senior center that my mom is familiar with already because her mom used to go there. I’be recently heard the term…
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New to this
My DH is in the early stage of Alzheimers or dementia. He will not go to a doctor and is in denial about what is happening to him. I am slowly picking up all of his responsibilities but he is still able to do some of the things he used to do. Lately, it has just been so exhausting and I have become so isolated. I could use…
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Thoughts
I went to every doc appt. Kept telling them about the continued memory loss, personality changes. He is freezing all the time and continues to loose weight. He scored a 10/30 on his SLUMS. I felt like I was banging my head on a brick wall…like no one was listening. I'm witnessing this slow, agonizing decline that I can't…
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I'm so tired.
My great grandma recently moved in with me. I knew there would be an adjustment period, but months later the behavior is only getting worse. She doesn't ever sleep a full night and is just never happy. She is 94 and acts like the biggest diva. Almost like the entire would should be ready to serve her and nothing is ever…
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Flew home and found mom in self neglect
I am the youngest of 7, and my mother’s only girl. I’m the favorite and so I have the best relationship with her. My mom is 74, and I noticed something was wrong last year when she was showing some short term memory loss, not answering her phone, and making excuses to not fly to Colorado to visit her kids. Saying she was…
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Moving home
So, I’m moving back home to help out. I’m an only child and my dad is having trouble taking care of my mom on his own. She fell at the beginning of this year and broke her foot and her shoulder. I ended up taking FMLA to help through her healing. I’m hoping that moving home will help me feel less exhausted. I went back to…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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Dad will not acknowledge anything from the doctor
Hello, I am 37 years old, and I am trying to navigate this awful disease with my father.We are based out of California. He is 72, and he has put himself into a lot of danger (financially and physically). Some of our neighbors have called APS on him, but the neurologist says he is fully capable of making his own decisions.…
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Highly Paranoid MIL Refuses Help
New here, big venting coming up. Sorry and thanks: My 92yr old MIL has been getting consistently more symptomatic over the past few months. Her PCP called it "age-related dementia" and left it at that. She has since come to state that she's never visited that doctor (she was actually a patient for nearly two years) and is…
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Incontinence - sign of last stage?
My mom has started pooping her pants and not even realizing it happened. She has been mostly Urine incontinent for year but this poop thing is beyond my capabilities as caregiver. She had a fall last week and still in pain even though no fracture, but she doesn't want to be out of bed for more than a few minutes and won't…
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Changing Assisted Living Communities - VENT
Hi everyone. I'm new here and I am in the process of exploring the different discussions posted. I appreciate all of the information everyone has shared. It helps me to feel like we are in this together. I wanted to get some things off my chest and I didn't know where else to go. I am an only daughter and I care for my…
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Need advice--meds, good days, bad days, anticipatory grief
Hi, this is long but I don't know that it can be abbreviated. My mom is 86 and has been having symptoms of dementia for the past couple years. I don't know which kind she has because she has not been formally diagnosed by a neurologist. I suspect it is lewy body. Anyway, it has gotten really bad last November after having…
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Tips for dealing with some issues I am having with my FIL (85)
Hello, I am primary caregiver during the day for my father-in-law who has been dealing with memory issues 10 years, diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago. And Jennifer previous post about this being hard is on point. I am getting frustrated bc he can't control his bladder at night and I am washing sheets every day. He is…
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Unconditional vs Obligation
The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree. I simply can't cope with caring for her personal challenges and then all of the other incidentals- bills, wills and care for example. I've been managing her bills, finances, doctors visits, care for 5+ years. Has it been easy, no. Has it been emotionally manageable, yes.…