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I'm so tired.
My great grandma recently moved in with me. I knew there would be an adjustment period, but months later the behavior is only getting worse. She doesn't ever sleep a full night and is just never happy. She is 94 and acts like the biggest diva. Almost like the entire would should be ready to serve her and nothing is ever…
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Flew home and found mom in self neglect
I am the youngest of 7, and my mother’s only girl. I’m the favorite and so I have the best relationship with her. My mom is 74, and I noticed something was wrong last year when she was showing some short term memory loss, not answering her phone, and making excuses to not fly to Colorado to visit her kids. Saying she was…
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Moving home
So, I’m moving back home to help out. I’m an only child and my dad is having trouble taking care of my mom on his own. She fell at the beginning of this year and broke her foot and her shoulder. I ended up taking FMLA to help through her healing. I’m hoping that moving home will help me feel less exhausted. I went back to…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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Dad will not acknowledge anything from the doctor
Hello, I am 37 years old, and I am trying to navigate this awful disease with my father.We are based out of California. He is 72, and he has put himself into a lot of danger (financially and physically). Some of our neighbors have called APS on him, but the neurologist says he is fully capable of making his own decisions.…
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Highly Paranoid MIL Refuses Help
New here, big venting coming up. Sorry and thanks: My 92yr old MIL has been getting consistently more symptomatic over the past few months. Her PCP called it "age-related dementia" and left it at that. She has since come to state that she's never visited that doctor (she was actually a patient for nearly two years) and is…
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Incontinence - sign of last stage?
My mom has started pooping her pants and not even realizing it happened. She has been mostly Urine incontinent for year but this poop thing is beyond my capabilities as caregiver. She had a fall last week and still in pain even though no fracture, but she doesn't want to be out of bed for more than a few minutes and won't…
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Changing Assisted Living Communities - VENT
Hi everyone. I'm new here and I am in the process of exploring the different discussions posted. I appreciate all of the information everyone has shared. It helps me to feel like we are in this together. I wanted to get some things off my chest and I didn't know where else to go. I am an only daughter and I care for my…
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Feeling Very Alone
Hi everybody! I hope everyone is having a good day/night. I am 24 and the main care taker for my mom who is 59, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. The first year since her diagnoses had been pretty uneventful, no huge changes besides getting her disability approved. She had already stopped driving and working…
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Need advice--meds, good days, bad days, anticipatory grief
Hi, this is long but I don't know that it can be abbreviated. My mom is 86 and has been having symptoms of dementia for the past couple years. I don't know which kind she has because she has not been formally diagnosed by a neurologist. I suspect it is lewy body. Anyway, it has gotten really bad last November after having…
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Tips for dealing with some issues I am having with my FIL (85)
Hello, I am primary caregiver during the day for my father-in-law who has been dealing with memory issues 10 years, diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 years ago. And Jennifer previous post about this being hard is on point. I am getting frustrated bc he can't control his bladder at night and I am washing sheets every day. He is…
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Unconditional vs Obligation
The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree. I simply can't cope with caring for her personal challenges and then all of the other incidentals- bills, wills and care for example. I've been managing her bills, finances, doctors visits, care for 5+ years. Has it been easy, no. Has it been emotionally manageable, yes.…
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Mother gave my brother and sister-in-law POA and all legal powers but they don’t want to do anything
Hello all- I am new to this community. My mother is in the process of her diagnosis and it has been hell. She has been diagnosed with “Mild Cognitive Impairment” but the MRI shows severe damages from silent strokes. She failed her driver license exam because of 4 critical driving errors (1 CDE disqualifies you). She has…
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Praying for this to end
My DH is stage 7, still ambulatory, good appetite, vitals all okay...counting my blessings....is it wrong to wish he will pass before "it gets worse" I am so done with these stages, wondering what I will wake up to each day, crossing off each day on the calendar only to look at a new month with no end in sight...I'm so…
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I'm new here and I want out...: (
DH diagnosed one month ago and our lives are out of control. I am the caregiver, now only driver, home caretaker, as well as the target of his anger, rage, distrust, you name it. Not sure what to do, where to start. I dont even know this person really...and I now realize thats been going on for years. Here I thought we…
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Changing an Alzheimer patient's home base
:s Hi community! I'm new to the discussions and am so glad this exists. My husband and I are becoming caregivers to my mother-in-law who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's-Dementia a few years ago. She's at the point where her short-term memory is mostly non-existent, but her long-term is still mostly sharp, give or take a few…
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Caregiving Burnout
Hello everyone. I’m new here. I could really use some advice. Can anyone recommend someone to talk to about how to handle severe dementia and sundowners? I’m single and live with my parents…only one is suffering from dementia. But it just feels like everything is in my shoulders. Clean the house. Do the laundry. Take care…
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Feeling lost
I’m new here. My wife is at the early stages, she is 67 and I am 60. I still have to work so our lives have a lot of moving pieces. Slowly I have been watching my wife deteriorate. The past 6 months it seems like even the easier tasks are getting harder for her & take her a lot more time. It’s like her problem solving…
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Father has AD and I am looking for support
Hello all. Noob here, but I have been taking care of my dad for 5 days per week for the past 10 weeks and am getting some burnout(I am running two households in winter and it's suddenly become nearly overwhelming) I was doing quite well until this past weekend when everything hit me. He's at home as yet, and doesn't need a…
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I’m. Just. So. Damn. Tired.
I have been caring for my mother who has been declining with grace for years. Now, at 92, she is very frail, and often doesn’t remember how to stand or sit. She can communicate sometimes. She can feed herself but eats little. Lately, she has been getting up without assistance and has fallen. Now I sleep with her to keep…
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Newbie here.....how to cope with my dad
My dad, unoffically, has alzheimers. He does not want to be tested. I am 52. He is 88. My mom passed 6 years so just him and I. He lives with me. I have my own business and work lots of hours. He has a part time care giver just so she can take him to doctor appts and get him out of the house for a meal. My entire life…
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Angry forever?
My moms delusions and anger have become so taxing that our family feels like it may be time for full time care but she’s voiced she doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and “nothings wrong” with her. I KNOW she’s going to be irate with everyone. My question is, do you have experience with this and was your loved one angry…
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Troubles sleeping
My mom hasn't been sleeping properly ever since her surgery near the end of December. The first few days of the first week of her recovery I understood. She was taking meds that made her drowsy at times so naturally her sleep patterns are going to get screwy. However, she stopped those meds 3 days in. She leveled out the…
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Need help but don't know what to do
My grandfather is 84 years old and has had dementia for years now but has recently been declining rapidly so I moved him into my house where my mother takes care of him. He has hospice care so nurses show up twice a week to asess him but thats the only care they provide .She quit her job because he needs fulltime support…
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Primary Care (PC) Doctor is Undermining the Neurologist
Because Alzheimers runs significantly in my mother's family (killed my grandmother and three of her sisters), I knew as soon as I started seeing tale tell signs in my mother I knew what was happening. After many, many months I finally convinced her to see a neurologist. So I asked her doctor for recommendations for a…
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New Here & Need to vent - Mom has Alzheimer's and Dad is stubborn...
Hi Everyone - I am so happy to find this community as I am definitely struggling with many things! I mostly just need to share and vent and I appreciate the space to do so. Here goes. My parents (married 60 years) live together in a 55+ community (independent - no outside help except family) about 30 minutes from me. My…
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Concern About a Caregiver
A dear friend who lives many miles away from me is caring for her husband with dementia at home. Both are in their early 80s. I believe she's experiencing serious burnout. I want to help but am not sure what to do. She's not eating well and is losing quite a bit of weight, has been avoiding talking by phone for a month or…
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Caregiver Burnout Direct Link to Injuries
I've posted about burnout, needing a break, etc. but never thought this would happen. On 11/6 while clearing leaves, mulching I tried to clear leaves from the mower's shoot and partially amputated 2 fingers on my dominant hand. Surgery on 11/10...left me in pain, unable to use one hand, completely care for myself never…
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Unsure of facility
What do you do when you're not sure of the facility your loved one is in? It gets decent online reviews, but she is entering late stage dementia and is constantly being sent off to the hospital? For various reasons. Touched another resident, non-med compliant, tripped....every other day it's something. She has moments of…
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Setting Boundaries on Home Maintenance
Mom was diagnosed with dementia several months ago, and is in the moderate stages. Her siblings, her doctor and I have all talked with her about AL, but she is digging her heels in and refusing to move. She lives in a big house by herself that requires significant maintenance. Several weeks ago, her TV broke and she was in…