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cross-post: looking to trade visits with someone in Nashville who's parent is in San Fran Bay
hi there this is my first post and I’m so grateful to be here and for this community. My dad has recently been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though once he quit drinking, I’m hoping he gets that diagnosis revisited. I’m exploring alternatives to the horrific options that I see in terms of forcing him into memory…
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Trade with someone living in Nashville?
hi there this is my first post and I’m so grateful to be here and for this community. My dad has recently been diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though once he quit drinking, I’m hoping he gets that diagnosis revisited. I’m exploring alternatives to the horrific options that I see in terms of forcing him into memory…
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Dementia vs stage 4 lung cancer - advice needed
For those who have experience being a caregiver for someone who has significant co-morbidities, could you help me understand how to address my MIL’s changing needs? MIL is almost 92. She has had lung cancer for 10 years. The oncologist believes the tumors are very slow growing due to two immunotherapy treatments 7 years…
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Help! To move or not to move a parent diagnosed with dememtia
Mom was diagnosed in January 2024. She mechanically very functionally. Sister and I can’t agree about moving her from where she has lived for 24 years to where sister and I live. Mom started showing signs of memory lose two years prior to diagnosis. How does one determine if moving is right or not as I have heard horror…
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Bathing/changing clothes
Mom won't take showers or change her clothes unless I get very forceful. Her care givers don't push her and i worry she will get infections. I live 4 hours away and have been able tk keep mom at home with 3 sets of caregivers coming over every day
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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Resisting Move to Assisted Living
Dad has Alzheimers and Mom is wheelchair bound. They currently have 8x5 home care. It's becoming harder Dad to care for Mom when home care is not there. However, Dad doesn't realize this and thinks he's doing a "good job" taking care of her. Gets very defensive. Took them on tours of AL yesterday. Mom is willing to move,…
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the long night
It's about 4:30AM here. My mom called me around 11 and I knew I needed to come over to keep her company and help. I've read the hospice book and this forum and my books and all that for months now, but seeing this in real life is obviously different. He might be in the actively dying stage now? Wasn't really expecting that…
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pain management and further progression
Hi friends, Things are progressing over here (as they always are). We have a low dose of morphine on board now. My dad's legs are extremely stiff and causing him pretty consistent pain, it appears. Brought this up to his hospice nurse when he visited last week and he said we should start morphine now, because once the pain…
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possibly transitioning to next stage?
Hi friends, It feels late at night even though it's 7:30PM here. Wanted to check-in about the kookiness we've had going on today. Some catch-up from the last couple of weeks: my dad might be starting to struggle with eating/using his hands. More confusion about how to do things (take pills, drink from straw). As he's…
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Mobility concern
Hello everyone. My mother is 75 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia officially in 2020. Lately, my mom has been needing more help with walking around the house. Last week, she fell in the bathroom; she was looking in the mirror and just fell backwards. I’ve also noticed that she leans to her…
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updates and checking in
Hi everyone, wanted to say hi and post a few updates since today is a wonky one over here. My mom has officially started her new job (still working from home) and I'm going into the law school twice a week for work. We've hired Brightstar so we have a sitter coming in the days I'm not here during work hours so my mom can…
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How do I answer the question, "Why can't I remember?"
I have been a caregiver to a lovely woman in MS of Alzheimer's since April 2023. One thing she's been doing more of here lately is asking me why she can't remember things. For example, just today, she was talking about her father and how she wasn't sure whether or not he was still alive. When I confirmed her suspicions of…
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Trying to Manage
Since my FIL has been staying with us, he just seems to be getting more difficult to care for. We have received a referral to neurologist for my FIL so we will be making an appointment to hopefully get an official diagnosis, medications/treatment. We have reached out to attorney regarding POA. In the meantime, we’re…
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Sudden worsening of symptoms
Hi all, I am new here. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in March of 2023. I still live at home with him and my mom. He had been living pretty normally since his diagnosis with a mild decline as to be expected. At his last doctor appointment on Monday 1/29/24 his doctor started him on Wellbutrin to aide in his depression…
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Hello
Good afternoon. After reading my Alzheimer’s devotional this morning, I was led to connect with other caregivers. My mother has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. My sister and I care for her in her home along with two paid caregivers. It’s hard. Mom was officially diagnosed in 2020, and she is steadily regressing. I feel…
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Sadness and acceptance of my grandmothers late stage dementia.
I’ve joined this support group in efforts to make peace with acceptance. I would like to share an experience I had today with a beloved family member of mine with Alzheimer’s disease. In hopes that sharing, communicating it with someone will help bring some peace. My beautiful grandmother, Peggy, has been going through the…
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Searching for a at home caregiver (6 hrs a week) for Denver
Hi-My mother has early ALZ and is presently being taking care of my by my competent brother and father, but they need support! I am a long-distance helper trying to find a great caregiver to come support 3-6 hrs a week but having trouble navigating the millions of options and would love a referral. Does anyone have someone…
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finally bringing in caregiver help
Hi everyone, back after a bit of an absence! My Mom is starting her new job, and I really ought to start going back into the office when I'm able to, so we've finally reached the point where we need to bring in outside help to keep an eye on my dad and be available to help when we're not able to. My parents' house is tiny,…
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Am I expecting too much? Home health aides
We've had agency aides coming in for a couple of months now. We went through a few at the beginning because the aides sent really didn't know how to work with PWDs. We finally got a gentleman who was great with my husband. But he's become quite erratic. He often comes late and missed a few days mid-december (one where he…
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It feels like there are no good choices
Hello, I'm new here. I originally posted in the caregiver group, but I don't think it's very active. I could use some support. My mother with Alzheimers lives with my 89 yr old father in an Assisted Living facility nearby. She is still full of life. She is the sweetest and most loving mother. We still have a wonderful time…
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Getting overnight caregiver
We've been trying to take shifts watching mom overnight to make sure she doesn't slide out of bed or get stuck in the railings on the hospital bed. Thankfully she hasn't had any issue since being in the new bed and with us watching. We're still not getting enough sleep ourselves and it's starting to impact our job…
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Need Ideas for duties/tasks an In-home care aid/companion can do
My mom and dad are finally open to having an in-home care aid come in a few times a week to help out around the house and most importantly, give my dad a rest from caregiving for my mom. Along with the normal apprehension to having a stranger come into their house, the big stressor for my dad right now is that he doesn't…
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seeking advice, updates, met with private duty nursing/caregiving
Hi everyone. I'm back in my dad's "good graces" -- I know he gets jealous/upset when he thinks my mom is spending time with anyone, so I was eventually going to be the target of his ire. I gave him some space and have slowly been getting back into the usual swing of things. I've had a contact with a homecare/private duty…
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some updates - meds, guardianship, new behavioral patterns
Hi everyone, hope the holidays were smooth and enjoyable for everyone. I attended my family's Thanksgiving without my Mom which was strange. I really, really like our hospice nurse and the entire staff. Through all of this experience they've been the most supportive and like... comprehensively attentive out of all the…
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Caring for Grandma
Good morning. I'm new here. My wife's grandmother is in mid stages of Alzheimer's and is at home. Grandpa is her primary caretaker and does not want to move her to a memory care facility. He also doesn't allow much help. My wife and I go over every couple of weeks to wash grandma's hair and try to get her into a change of…
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Adjusting to the decline & hospice
Hi everyone, we have a nurse practitioner coming to the house next Friday and then the week after that we'll be having a virtual visit with his new physician. I've also been in contact with a hospice/homecare group for about the entire time he's been home. She checks in on how he's doing, and she recommended this new…
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Caring for LO when they're sick
Hi everyone, I've been absent for a bit -- we hit a semi-stable routine while we wait for our appointments with the new physician's group that was recommended to us. This post is one-part me venting/unloading about the Great Excitement of the past few days and one-part seeking wisdom. For those who don't want to read the…
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Won’t Go to the Dr./won’t get an assessment
I am curious what ideas people have for facilitating an assessment for someone who probably understands that something is going on, but refuses to go to the doctor, and likely doesn’t want to do that because she is aware an assessment would happen. (the phrase - “you are trying to commit me has come up quite a bit…