Just need to talk to my friends (169)

ronald71111

Holidays and family get together are something that I will always cherish. Growing up my mother had two sisters and holidays were always a special get together for all three of the families. Our house was where the gatherings would always be and it would be a housefull of good eats and fun times. 

Last summer my brother, sister and I started talking about a "Three sisters reunion", where all the generations of the three sisters could once again get together for a celebration. Now my cousins and siblings all have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren this would show them how it was and still should be. It was desided the reunion would be in Florida where one of my nieces home is and it would be the weekend of my birthday. The reason they picked that weekend was my niece, her son and I all celebrate the same birthday. 

Hope everyone has a good week. I'm still going a little crazy worrying about having "active malignancy ". Its the not knowing what they are talking about that makes it so bad. Hopefully this week I'll receive the explanation. 

Ron

Jo C.

Dear Ron, I can well understand the concern regarding the term, "active malignancy."  That is a term that can mean different things.

At the time that term was written, it can mean a cancer was diagnosed within the last six months or so; or that cancer has been treated within the last six months or so; or that cancer is still being treated . . . . and on and on.   Basically since you have been recently treated, that may be why that particular term was used.  That term could possibly even have been taken from one of your past record documentations and simply have  been repeated on the most recent report you saw.

 Sayra; what a lovely surprise to get an Easter basket.  That was really thoughtful of your nephew.  

This is the exciting week for Jack, here's hoping everything goes smoothly and as good as can be.  He is getting more active in his thinking and even planning - you have been part of a miracle for him, Lorita.  Boy; his Guardian Angel must have singed wing feathers and halo askew from trying to help him and is now smiling at the wonder of you who stepped in when there was nothing else to help.

May coming up before we know it; you and I will be another year older, Lorita.  The numbers that now pop up for birthdays are a bit shocking.  If anyone tried to put candles on a birthday cake for me, there would be a three alarm fire!

Guatamalan tamales on Easter . . . oh Judith, I'll bet they were good.  And Hominy Casserole, what goes into that?  I really like hominy.

We will also get our second COVID boosters this week too, Sayra.  It has been six months since our first booster.   The researchers are working like crazy to try and tweak the vaccine - eventually there will be a more long lasting one.  The current vaccine had to be made in such a very short  amount of time; it is amazing that science was able to get it done as much as they have.    Gosh; another six months and it will be time for our annual flu shots. 

Hope everyone has a good Monday and a good week coming up.

 J.

BethL

Good morning from warm and sunny Houston! Glad to be here visiting family. Glad, also, that the weather is nice here. There was snow in Iowa yesterday - really, really ready for warm weather. Wonder if the little seeds I planted 10 days ago will germinate soon. Will be anxious to check on them and give them a drink when I get home tomorrow. We went to the grandson's BB game Saturday afternoon. Had Easter dinner with daughter and family and went to a neighborhood Easter egg hunt Sunday afternoon. Today we are going to Space Center Houston (Johnson Space Center). We've been there several times; it's a very interesting place to visit. I would love to share some pics but I only brought my iPhone, no camera. The issue with that is that on this site your pics have to have a jpg format and iPhone is an HEIC format (ha! whatever that means, it does mean I cannot post unless I convert the photo format).

Ron, your family gathering sounds nice. I also cherish memories from childhood holiday gatherings. As far as the "active malignancy" comment in your file - ask your oncologist if you have an active malignancy, telling him what it says in the record. Your oncologist is the one who would diagnose such a condition, and if he says he doesn't know - then probably the record is in error. 

Sara, I think you are wise to get the 2nd MRNA booster, given the stats with the J & J. I am re-thinking waiting till numbers increase to get my 2nd booster (my 3 are all Moderna); Leona Wen, who shaped my thinking about waiting took a question online from a healthy 70 y.o. asking when/if to get 2nd, and Dr. Wen advised her to go ahead and get it. I'm not 70 but I'm over 60 so maybe I should proceed. I am not nearly as "afraid" of Covid as I used to be. Covid is a lot milder now, in part because the variant is milder and in part due to the vaccine's protection. 

Jo, your Easter ideas were so cute! I think you are one of those fun moms/grandmas! Hope you and your hubby are doing well. How is his eye doing? Vision improved?

Lorita, you have done and are doing amazing things to help Zelda and Jack! Thank you, thank you, thank you and God bless you for caring and going out of your way to help a friend. If we serve (help) others, hopefully when the time comes we need help, there will be someone there to give us a hand. 

Zetta, sounds like you also have a lot of good Easter memories. I cannot identify with "frizzy" hair. Mine is straight as a string. I curl it with hot rollers but it doesn't hold real well. I think you just have to figure out what works for the hair you've been blessed with.

Judith, enjoy your Frango mints. I am not familiar with those. There is a candy company, Monastery Candy, in NE Iowa. It is how a group of nuns support themselves. They have wonderful mints, truffles, caramels, etc. I would encourage anyone to check out their website and try their candy!!!

Day, Winter still! Iowa too! But maybe done this week? Glad your finger is healing and path report was ok. Good luck on the promotion. 

Thinking of you, Marie. Take care and rest when you can. Have you gotten your mom moved, and is she in a place that will work for her? I know she doesn't drive far. I feel for you. Caring for an elderly relative is not easy. Been there, done that. 

Hugs to all, off to start my exciting day on vacation in TX!    Beth

Lorita

Morning,

 It's a cold, windy, cloudy morning - only about 40 degrees so not pleasant.  It's going to warm up to almost 80 by the end of the week.

 Good luck on your promotion, Day.  Hope you can get the shift you would like.

 Sara, when do you begin volunteering? Are you going to feel safe being in that setting?  I don't like the idea of going to WM but guess I will since there are things Jack wants to get.  I want him to be comfortable with what he has when he moves.  Hopefully, the DON will visit him today and give her approval so we can move forward.

 He has plans to buy a lot of things - kind of like he wants to make a new start.  He has a twin bed and chest at home and I told him he could use them but it sounds like it would be awfully hard to even get to them.  I'll ask him again today.  That would save him at least $500.   He's having to field phone calls from his daughter.  Not sure if it's that she doesn't want him to go into AL or if it's just that she's wanting money from him.  I'm staying out of that part of it.

 My back hurts this morning - must have slept in a bad position. Just came in from feeding Tom-Tom.  I wish he'd let me touch him. He sits under the tractor and watches me and if I make a move toward him he moves back. But,  he's always there ready to eat.  Toad just came and fed the girls.  Before I even looked out this morning I heard them out front - they know when he comes - except for four who were still up in the pasture - couldn't get them to budge.  He doesn't come through the gate where I have the alarm so I've only heard it go off once.  I have cat and dog food coming tomorrow so guess I'll hear it then - if I'm here when they come, usually around 2:30.  Not sure what I'll do if that's the time of day when I take Jack over to the AL - about leaving the GPs in the yard.  If it's the regular FedEx driver it'll be okay - he's made friends with them.  Guess I'll leave a note on the gate to leave it outside.  I can use the dolly to get it to the house.

 Watched a lot of bull riding last night - they had two nights of it in Tulsa this weekend and telecast the last night of it and showed it last night.  One guy got bucked off and broke his collar bone - they said he broke it last year, too, and was back riding in a month.  Several were bucked off and had smaller injuries.  You know they also rate the bulls on their bucking - Woopah and another one were ahead in the ratings.  Why anyone would want to ride a bull I do not know.

 Sara - this house sometimes creaks and groans, too.  Guess it's just a normal thing.  I don't notice it very much so maybe after all these years it's settled enough. 

 Thanks, Jo, for the reminder about the mattress pad.  I told him to put it on his list.  That will make his bed even more comfortable.  When we were at the doctor's office, before he was seen and we were in the waiting room, he and the admissions clerk were talking and he told her he had been sleeping in his recliner.  She said to me "so, no need for a bed".  He quickly corrected her saying he wanted a bed.  All this time he's ben sleeping in his recliner but wishing he could sleep in his bed.  I have no idea what the house looks like inside (very nice outside) so guess he just didn't have the energy or initiative to clear off the bed so he could sleep there. In fact, I remember one time I asked him about clearing it off and he said he just couldn't do it. 

 He's happy that Zelda is doing well.  Just think how her life has changed - even just being with other dogs would be wonderful for her.  My GPs slept outside last night - now they're back inside, sound asleep.  They did their job guarding and patrolling last night so now they'll leave it up to me while they sleep.

Ron, I do hope you can find out what all of that active malignancy means.  Do call the patient advocate and see what they can find out for you.  The Three Sister's reunion sounds like it would be really nice.  Do you think Lou would be able to travel as far as Florida all right?  She enjoyed the trip to Dallas so that might be something she would also enjoy.  Hope you and she are both well this morning.

 Nothing planned for today except doing the dishes.  Probably should shampoo my hair.  I used some hair spray last week and I hate the way my hair feels after I use it.  I'm just not a hair-spray person but in this damp weather my hair gets frizzy.  I always think of what Jo says about her hair and the dandelions. 

 Speaking of dandelions, when you all eat them, do you eat the whole plant - what about the flower?  One of our social workers really liked to eat them but I've never tasted them.  However, Ii have noticed that the Poke is coming up everywhere.  We always like to have that with a little bit of vinegar served with beans and corn bread.  I think I'm past that though.

 I'll stop for now and finish my juice.  Kind of hungry this morning.

BethL

from NY Times, I consider this good news for the most part.

"COVID cases are rising, but due to the success of vaccinations, boosters, and treatments -- SEVERE COVID is not. For the FIRST TIME, fewer than 2,000 people are in ICUs with COVID. (The number was about 30,000 when

@POTUS

took office.)"

Lorita

That is good news, Beth.  I heard that 30 states had a uptick in cases - for once, Oklahoma was not included.  I guess this is just something we'll have to live with from now on.  I just plan to continue to be as careful as I can and away from people and places when I can.

 Got my caladiums ordered.  They had a variety I'd  never seen - Cranberry Star. Looks sort of like White Christmas but has little splashes of red in the leaves..  I ordered 30 of the medium sized, the Cranberry Star,, Royal Flush and Rose Bud - also ordered 20 or 24 short ones of Crimson Skye.  I always like to have red and white in each pot plus a pink so that will take care of the four big pots and I'll tuck the short ones in the sides and maybe plant the two smaller pots on the steps.   I have wild violets in those now but something keeps eating them.  She said she'd mail them this week but I won't plant them until the ground is nice and warm.  Don't remember how I ordered them last year but this was easier - ordering over the phone and faster, too.

 The sun has finally started to shine but it's still cold and windy.  I was so hoping we could get Jack over there tomorrow before it got rainy again but we'll manage.  I called him about two hours ago and he sounded sleepy so maybe he went back to sleep.  I get up early and forget that other people don't.

 News from Ukraine isn't very good - looks like Mariopul is going to fall today.  What a shame that the Country is being demolished in so many places,

 Judith, have you ordered your caladiums yet?

 Talked with Sam and he has filed an extension for my taxes - now I have until October 15 to get them in.  I won't get a refund so doesn't matter.  I heard yesterday that the average refund is $3200.   I have never in my life got anywhere near that - lucky if I get anything.  How do they do that?

Jo C.

Most common, people get a large amount back from the IRS when they have overpaid their taxes over that year's time in their paychecks, etc.   Those who do not do that do not get large amounts back and others end up owing if they have not had a sufficient amount deducted.  Other reasons exist, but that is the most common.

Hope you get the promotion you are applying for, Day.  And when it gets offered, so hope it is not on the terrible midnight shift.  Sending good luck wishes your way.

 Beth; your Houston visit and Easter sounds like a wonderful time.  Thanks for asking, DHs eye has improved in that  he no longer can see a strange fold in his line of vision, but improvement in said vision if it is to be takes from about six to twelve months to occur. Long time to wait.  He has been having to use so many drops and they are now thankfully being tapered.  Glad to have the steroid drop about done, it irritates the eye.

 Yes; I guess I did enjoy delighting children and oh my; especially those wonderful grandchildren and all the extended family and other guests in our home - I think that it is because it pleases my own inner child and I got to read all those storybooks, and plan little surprises and play games and bake cookies, and do cool dinners with special items on the table, and so much more.   Delighting guests at our house and wrapping packages creatively and surprises are part of that inner child thing I think. Never sems like work; just a pleasure doing it and seeing the happiness of others.   Oh; the holiday games that were played with adults and children, just tickled me pink and had others laughing.   Unto everything there is a season, and those years were my "season" in having all the holidays at our place including the Fourth of July.   Happy house,  happy noise during all those times.  I was also working fulltime during those years; but no big deal, it all got done.  Oregon grandchildren called me, "The Disneyland Grammie."  Smile.  I was blessed with a wonderful grandmother, so perhaps we play it forward in our own ways.

About 76 degrees today, but temp will drop and we have chance of rain at the end of the week - maybe.  Can use any rain we can get, but it will be only a 10% chance and it will not be much.

That mattress pad will not only make Jack's bed more comfortable, but it will also protect the mattress from any spills or other unfortunate happenings.  Hopefully someone at the ALF housekeeping will help him get his bed and room together.   In the meantime, he will be acclimating and get used to being around people and will still have privacy in his own little apartment when he wishes.  He will making connections and friends and get adequate nutrition which may help his physical self.   Isn't that really an amazing and wonderful change from what had been his life and despair for so long?  Blessings to be sure.  Who made blessings happen?  Seems to be our Lorita.

Going to have teriyaki chicken wings this evening with I think, some brown rice and broccoli.  DH ordered wings from CostCo and they are actually pretty good despite not being the best in nutrition due to the sauce.

I did look up that Monastary Candy made by Nuns in Iowa that you told us about Beth.  I also scrolled down the page and found some wonderful videos regarding the lives of the Nuns.  There are multiple videos and are worth watching; especially the interviews.  One is how to become a Nun; not a fast process and a lot of dedication.  I liked the video for the Work of the Monastary.  Anyway, thank you Beth for telling us about them.  I think we will be ordering candy from them.  Lovely place and dear people. 

Time for lunch; a veggie pattie with a slice of Swiss on top (no bread); avocado, half an apple and maybe a cookie.  Whoopee.  Sort of.

 Hugs to all,

 J.

BethL

Jo, agree those nuns are special and delightful. Now want to tell you about the Trappist monk caskets - Trappist monks in NE Iowa have their own forest, cut their own timber and make lovely caskets (pine, oak, walnut). Simple caskets or "regular" wooden caskets. We got my mom's casket, a simple oak from them. Cost about $1500 and was lovely! Pic below.

Lorita

Hi,

 Beth, sounds like you're having a wonderful time in Houston.  I've never been there but we have a niece closeby, in Sugarland.  I know it's hot and humid - Oklahoma is enough for me on those things.

 The casket looks nice - I've seen similar ones made from some type of wood and they're really nice.

 Well, talked with Tamatha and they'll be at Jack's place about 8:30 in the morning to give, I hope, her final approval.  I think it's just something that has to be done before admission.  He told me to call him at 7 a.m. so he'd be sure to be up and ready.  If it's approved for his admission (prayers, please for that) I'll call the moving company and make arrangements for them to pick up his things Wednesday morning and also the bed and chest at the furniture store.  The mover told me they would set up the bed.  Then I'll pick up Jack, take him by WM to get the things he wants/needs and then on to the AL Center.  He sounds 100% better than he did last week - sort of like he has hope now.  This afternoon he even asked me if I thought he might get his cataracts taken care of while he's there!  I remember daddy had his extracted when he was in the NH so I'm sure he can do that.

 I haven't done anything today except watch TV and I think I took a short nap.  It's still pretty chilly and windy outside although we have had sun which has helped.  I think there's supposed to be rain tomorrow evening and night, then again late Wednesday so hope we can get this done before then.  I have some dirt roads to drive on and this car is not good in mud.  I don't think I could drive the PU because Jack wouldn't be able to get in and out of it - it's pretty tall and I know his legs are weak - I even have trouble sometimes. 

 I'm not relishing the idea of being inside WM with all those people but I'll wear my good mask and have Jack wear a KN95 and we'll stay away from people, use wipes on the cart and hand sanitizer when we get back in the car. 

 Sheena has stayed outside all day and still doesn't want to come in.  It's amazing how fast the leaves are growing on the trees.  The tree I was worried about has little leaves all over it - so glad of that.  The leaves on the Southern Magnolia have a lot of brown on them because of the cold weather and the awful winds we've had - not sure if it will drop them and get new ones or what - we'll see.

 I had thought about doing some laundry today but just wasn't in the mood.  I did open the bedroom and the cats have enjoyed laying on the bed today.  Do hope Daniel has been able to be put on some new antibiotics that will take care of his infection - to make him feel better and also to get the things finished that will complete his work here.

 Things (trees and grass) is pretty and green.  Just makes you feel good to be alive when you go out and see that and breathe the fresh air.  My mother named the farm appropriately for the way it is in the spring.  I do hope, with all my heart and soul, that I never have to leave here.  Just makes you feel good to be here.  Is that sappy enough?

 Saw something really cute - I went out on the porch just after noon and saw one cow - I think it was April and her mom. . She was going down in the pasture with the others.  They stood around a little while, then went on.  Little April was staying close by her mother.  It's so sweet how the babies and moms interact.  When the baby comes to the mom for any reason - they touch noses.  Like I've said before, in my heart, they're still mine as long as they're here and I've  told Mike the same thing - he just laughed.

 Well, keep your fingers and toes crossed that things turn out all right in the morning.  I'll let you all know as soon as I know.

 Sleep well tonight.  Oh, Jack said he had a sandwich this afternoon - four thin slices of ham and three of cheese.  I told him I bet he'll regain his appetite when he has good meals prepared for him - he actually agreed!  Good things may happen.

  

  

Mint

Good morning 

34 F, 1C.  Giving rain, snow and strong wind again.  

Ron hope you get your questions answered soon.  

Glad you are getting a warm, sunny break Beth.  I’ve been to Houston a few times.  It was in the summer and it was a 100F at night.

Lorita I meet with the lady Thursday.  Not sure what happens from there.  Whether I will sort of start training that day or not.  Lorita I’m not afraid.  I still respect the disease very much.  That is why I got my third vaccine yesterday.  Want to have best memory immune response as possible.  Will wear a mask, trust God and if I do get sick have done all I knew to do so hopefully my memory cells will kick in and it will be fairly mild.  That is what happens most of the time  when we have seen the virus before.  But  as we all know life is not perfect.   They are gradually getting some treatments too.  Feel like for me I’m at the place where I need to live with it, but be aware of what is happening.  Like things are pretty low here still.  So ate with my sisters family.  If we get a surge  probably would have ate in a different room.  Would eat outside if and when weather permits.   Those without immunity are still at risk,  some more than others, especially if they have risk factors and don’t seek medical care early.  Paxlovid, monoclonals need to be given early.  There is another drug just coming out of phase three, with some long name that is looking good also for treatment.  I’m very comfortable with going to store now and taking my time.  Me and two other people have our masks on lol.   That’s ok, I do what I’m comfortable with.   I go to the store anytime I want to now and feel comfortable.  If you are wearing your good mask while in WM I would be comfortable.  Slowly, slowly.  

Have always just eaten the dandelion leaves.  Joan says stems are good.  Don’t know if anyone eats the flowers or not. Your caladiums sound pretty.  My tomatoes and peppers are starting to sprout.

Yes Jack can most definitely get his cataracts taken care of.  That would be great.  Continuing to pray for Jack.

Take care everyone

Lorita

Morning,

 I'm still waiting to hear from Jack or Tamatha about his admission.  I hate to call in case they're still talking so will wait a little bit longer.

 I may have to take Stormy to the vet today.  He has somehow cut his back foot and it's bleeding.  He won't let me really look at it.  When I let him in he seemed okay but after a bit I noticed a little blood on the floor, then more and more in other places.  He did let me sort of look at it but that was all.  He puts his feet up on the fence and he has probably caught it somehow although it's his back foot so that wouldn't apply - guess he stepped on something.  He's torn two or three water hoses off of the hydrant so when I get the new one I've ordered I'll have to unscrew it every time and put it over the fence. Itt's a wonder he hasn't broken his teeth. Just another couple of things to add to stressors.

 Jack has decided he'd like to take his twin bed and dressers so that also changes things.  It'll all work out somehow.  It's supposed to rain tonight and tomorrow so not sure I can even drive the car - the main road floods on either side of our entrygate and a neighbor has built a little pond next to the road and the water's getting out of it into the road.  My car is low so may have to drive the PU.  I think I can take a stool and he can get up into it.  It's like an octopus with all these tentacles and things to work out.

 Sara, sounds like you're excited about volunteering.  I hope it goes well.  Is it a hospital - I think you said it was.  I know you will really be appreciated for doing that - volunteers help so much.

 Glad you got your third shot - so is that the second booster?  I'll get mine as soon as things settle done a bit.

 Tried to call Daniel - no answer so I imagine he's sleeping.  I was going to suggest that they not come until next week - probably wouldn't have anyway.  He's going to have to have some time to recover after he starts his new medication.

 Don't know if I can wait much longer to find out their decision.  I think I'll call in a couple of minutes.  I'll let you all know.

Jo C.

Since "the virus" has been a topic we address here in relation to ourselves, I am stopping by to leave the link regarding what Moderna and Pfizer are doing to develop their COVID vaccines further to better meet the challenges of the evolving virus:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/moderna-announces-step-toward-updating-110603437.html

 Per our county Public Health Director - Numbers for new cases are indeed rising, but numbers not as accurate as not as much testing is being done.  Free testing is no longer available in many areas of the country and some states are not reporting or providing numbers.   Still political in some areas..

 We are each islands unto ourselves now; it is up to us as individuals - we must assess the situation based on our own physical selves with risk potential as well as in regard to valid science, valid information, and do what we feel is best for ourselves and our LOs.  We will continue to mask and take sensible precautions. We are older, and each have a physical blip that could make our immune systems less proactive, so our islands will need a bit more caution for the time being.

J.

Lorita

They accepted him!   Will shoot for admission on Thursday.  He said he didn't sleep last night so told him to eat something and tape naps today.  He said "I guess I can make eit that long - I've made it so far".  He will have to have a covid test - we'll go by his doctor's office and get that. Maybe the nurse can even come out and not have him come in.

 So, the first hurdle is done.  I'm a bit worried about the weather for Thursday but I'll drive the PU and it'll be okay.

 Thanks, Jo, for the link.  I'll continue to wear a mask - doesn't bother me so that's what I'll do.  

 Thinks for the finger-crossing and good wishes for his admission.  He's excited bout it.  He was cute - told them when he got there he'd eat every bit and take his medicine like they want him to. 

 He does want to take the two dressers and bedframe - if the movers can get them out of the room.  He said the room is stuffed to the gills.  He said he'd pay them extra.  If that doesn't work a furniture company can bring the bedframe when they bring the mattress.

  

Mint

I’m so excited for Jack and you Lorita.  The stool may work fine, just be careful.  If it don’t,  call squad and they can help him get up in there.  He can’t sleep because a thousand things are spinning through his head.  He is so happy that he has found help.  Doesn’t it feel good to help people Lorita?  I love helping people.  This is why I want to get back to my life safely.  When he gets settled down, which may take a few days, he may sleep awhile lol.

Agree JoC we are getting to the place now where we are each an island to ourselves.  We each have to figure our own way now.  We are all in very different spaces.  Will be interesting to see what happens with hospitalizations about two weeks from now.  That  will give us some information about immunity levels from severe illness.  It may vary quite a bit depending on where you live.  The virologist, Vincent, that has  kept me calm for 2.5 years has stopped wearing his mask unless required.  He has been to no meetings since this started.  He will be traveling to several places in the coming months.  He is 68 yo.  Still teaching at Columbia too.  Will be watching.  Believe he has Pfizer.  If he does ok may drop mask a bit til winter.  He says he knows he has a small risk but willing to take that to get back to a normal life. He has no risk factor other than age like me.  He says we have good vaccines.  

 For me mom is a huge issue.  If she gets it will fall on my shoulders and it won’t be easy.  Guess I’ll be wearing one around her for a long time yet.  If I get sick my one sister has said she will help me.  But she has little patience with mom so would be very hard on both of them.    Don’t think anybody besides me had a mask on today at WM.  That is quite alright.  I felt safe, I’m not as ready as Vincent yet, slowly, slowly I hope to get there.

Jo C.

Joy!  What great news, Lorita.  You can now let your breath out!  As for bedframe; just buy a new one if the new mattress and box spring do not come with one.  Will want a frame that is a good fit for the new pieces.

Here comes nosy J. again:

He is getting a box spring with the new mattress, isn't he?  Best to check for that if you do not know for certain.  Sometimes, they are sold separately.  Sometimes the frame will come with the set if there is a set; other times there may be a low cost for a frame, may want to check.  He will definitely need a box spring for under the mattress.

As for the two dressers at home, I wonder if he has sufficient wall space in the tiny ALF apartment to accommodate two dressers of whatever size he has at home. When you pick him up, it would probably be a good idea for you to take a look and see how difficult it would be to access the dressers and roughly what size they are in length and depth. (You could take a measuring tape if you have one if you feel like it.)  You can then call the ALF and ask staff if the apt. wall space can accommodate the dressers.  Otherwise, it may be best to wait and assess after his arrival when one can see the available walls.  But that leaves how to get the dresser(s) there.  If the movers get to the ALF apt. with the dressers and the wall space cannot accommodate them, that would be a problem such as, what would then be done with the dressers.

If the movers have to dig their way through the big lot of hoarded items blocking access to get to the dressers, and then have to clear a removal path wide enough to get the dressers out, and  then once that was accomplished, having to wait because dressers would have to be emptied of items inside the drawers, that could be a problem.  Such a situation may possibly cause them to refuse dealing with that once they are there at the house to do pickup of the other items.  They may have other moves for that day.  If not known ahead of time whether the dressers fit the apartment, it may be best to assess things after admission to determine if there is sufficient wall space to accommodate the pieces.

 Oh yes; a question:  Will he need hangers for his clothing - if so, can pick some up at WalMart.   I have done so much moving and changing spaces for elderly folks that I have mental lists still inside old internal head files and here they come spilling out.  Sorry.

 Gads; it is like getting on a wedding registry:  Towels, wash clothes, sheets, mattress pad, pillow, clothes - (trousseau), hangers . . . .

 Does he have a little kitchen in his apartment?  I seem to recall there was mention of a little frig or whatever - he could need and perhaps bring from home, a couple of plates, a couple of bowls, a couple of mugs for coffee, perhaps a couple of plastic glasses for drinking out of,  and some silverware with a few spoons, forks, butter knives . . . just thinking after my having done some outfitting for others.  He will, I am sure, remember his bath soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste and shaving gear from home.  Gads; he does need a mover - wonder if he has one of those big duffle bags at home that he can access to put some of the stuff in; or if WalMart may have a few cardboard boxes they would let him have.  Once he is moved, all will be done and done well for his new life. 

I am so happy for him and also for you too, Lorita.  It took much to get to this point and never could have been done at all without you. What a difference from the last weeks when all was so horribly dire.  As said before; you literally saved his life.  Literally.

 Good woman; good heart.  ((((((Lorita))))) 

 J.

Lorita

Hi,

 Just got back from the vets.  Stormy's foot had stopped bleeding some and I got a pretty good look at it and it looked bad so called and got an appt.  So, also took Sheena to get her nails trimmed.  I can trim one but can't do the others by myself.  I was afraid I couldn't get Sheena into the car but, believe it or not, she only balked once so I got in and she came in with me, got over on the other side of me and was fine.  Stormy sits in the front with me.

 Of course, the clinic was full, cars everywhere and people and dogs inside - lots of big dogs.  I saw one huge Boxer - reminded me of what Zelda probably looks like.  In fact, I drove past the shelter and looked to see if I saw her outside but didn't and didn't take the time to stop.

 Stormy's foot was bleeding on every step he took - so there was blood everywhere.  We got them weighed - Stormy weighed 84.2 lb. and Sheena 88 lb.  Lots of the people were talking about how pretty there were and one man told me he used to have a GP.  They were so well behaved, even getting on the scales which only required a little help.  They took Stormy back to the exam room immediately and after I got Sheena weighed we went in.   Mike came in and wrapped his foot tightly to stop the bleeding and said he'd have to operate later today after he cleared out the clinic some.  So, I had to leave him.  So hated to do that.  Sheena got her nails trimmed without too much trouble and she got into the back seat of the car without much trouble and we came home.  I know she was nervous with all the talking and barking but she did remarkably well - so proud of both of them.  But, I'll worry about Stormy until I hear from Mike.  One of the girls said it looked the pad was peeled back - so he stepped on something in the yard after he went out this morning.  Glad I was able to get a pretty good look at it and was able to get him seen.

 I was beyond happy when Jack told me they accepted him and I know he was elated and relieved.  He asked them about the dressers and they said both of them would be fine to take.  There will be a small refrigerator in his apartment so no need to take the one he has.  The bed was his daughter's when she was little so I think there's a bit of sentiment there. 

 Jo, he has a list that keeps getting longer.  We'll buy new toiletries, a small radio and new earphone to use with his DVD player plus all the other things.  In a way it seems he wants to make a new start.  I'll call the movers this afternoon and make arrangements and, hopefully, they can get his things early in the day.  He needs to be there when they come.  He says he'll pay them extra if they can get the bedframe and chests.  No need for them to go by the furniture store - we can't make those arrangements until we know about the bed and chests but delivery fee isn't much - $30 at one place and $50 at the other. 

 He said he asked the admissions lady and DON if he was taking too much and they didn't think so.  He mentioned hangers yesterday so he has those.  There will be his recliner, his walker, four or five sacks of items plus his suitcase, the two chests and bedframe (maybe).  The drawers will have to be emptied.  He says he imagines she had the drawers packed solid with things.  I had no idea it was so bad.  He said there were stacks of papers everywhere - she never threw away anything.  I know he'll feel great relief to be in a clean, uncluttered place.

 After the movers leave I'll pick him up, go by the doctor's office for his covid test, then to WM and after that I'll stop by McDonalds so he can get another milkshake (he really enjoyed the last one) and then on to the ALF.

 I hope it all works out.  The roads are awful - if it rains, no way could I get over them in the car so the PU will be the mode of transportation.  I hope the stool works okay, Sara.  I used it sometimes when I was feeding because I had to get in and out of the PU so many times.  What is Squad?  Probably fire dept. or people who are there to help.  I don't think there's anything like that in our little town.  He'll only have to get in the PU twice (at home and at WM) and get out twice.  He says he can do it - he's determined man.  I think finding pants to fit will be a problem - waist is 36 and inseam is 28 but we'll see. 

 Sara - it doesn't bother me to wear a mask when no one else is wearing one.  This afternoon not one person in that busy, busy clinic, including personnel, was wearing one - but, I was.  If it makes me feel better, I'll continue to wear one and I'll also have Jack wear one.

 I didn't have any boxes but my WM items were delivered while I was gone (also Chewy) so there will be a couple of smaller boxes - Chewy box is way too big.  So, sort of looks like things are coming together.

 Sara - when he gets there he'll be confined to his apartment for five days so he'll have time to get things put away and rest before he has to meet everyone.  They'll bring his meals to the room.  He also has a little patio so if he wants to go outside, he can. 

 I haven't talked to him since mid morning so I imagine he's sleeping.  I told him to eat something, then take a nap.  Just think how his life is about to change - I'm so happy he decided to do this.  Of course he says it's very hard but he realizes he can't go on as he has been doing for the last couple of years.

 

Lorita

Another wrinkle - had a call from the admissions woman.  She had made an appt. with his doctor for 2 p.m. tomorrow for his covid test.  I was trying to avoid making two trips because the weather isn't going to be good so called Health and Wellness.  They had an appt. for 8:30 Thursday.   This is the day of his admission and the day his furniture will be picked up so that may not work.   If the weather isn't too bad guess I can do it tomorrow and even go by WM and get what he needs.  He has to be at home when the movers come.  Lots of ins and outs - trying to get things coordinated.  I need to pick up Stormy tomorrow so might be able to get an appt. at Health and Wellness for tomorrow morning, get his things at WM and pick up Stormy.  That way he'd be able to be at home Thursday morning when the movers come - which will be/should be pretty early.  Need to see the weather report.  Sorry for all this - just helps to get it written down - and you all have such good suggestions.

jfkoc

Did I miss bringing a TV?

Jo C.

Yikes - good call Judith - especially being room bound for five days - definitely a TV. 

I question whether that bed frame that was his daughter's old bed would fit his new mattress and box spring.  Better safe than sorry at this point.

J.

Lorita

Judith, TV for sure.  I just forgot to mention it.

 Jo, I asked Jack if he thought that was a regular sized twin bedframe and he thinks it is.  If they can get it out, maybe it'll work - if not, they're not too expensive.  Do you think bed size has changed?  This frame is about 55 years old.

 I think I'll pick him up tomorrow morning, see if I can get a covid test tomorrow and take him to WM for what he needs.  Then we can be back home before the movers come and they can take everything.  I found a plate, saucer,  bowl, cup, silverware and I'm sending what I like to use - it's a Mason jar with a lid - jelly came in it.  I like to use them because you can close the top. 

 He sounds okay.  He said he needed his recliner to get there when he does but I reminded him that Patsy had some sort of divan she slept on and did he think he could do that one night.  Said he could.  The admissions clerk said she'd have to make a visit tomorrow to get him to sign the lease papers and get payment for the first month before they can accept the furniture. 

 I'm going to wait until about 6:30 to call about Stormy.  Mike was so busy this afternoon and after he sees everyone he does surgeries.  He had just done a C-section on a little dog while I was there - the lady said there were two puppies.

 Not one mask in sight in the clinic except mine.

 Just got Sheena inside.  She laid down outside when we got home and had laid there all afternoon and was stiff when she got up.  I think she has arthritis - (join the club).

Jack just called to make sure he understood what we were going to do.  He's very anxious about it and I don't blame him a bit.  The change will be dramatic and so much better for him.

 Just saw the weather and it sounds like tomorrow might be okay to drive the car which will be better for him - unless it rains tonight.  As I was leaving this afternoon the road grader was at our gate.  They seem to always grade the roads just before it rains again.  That's life in the country for you.

 Saw one of the moms of the little guys - think it was Chucky and his mom in the garden.  She was grazing and baby was up and down.  They've gone on up with the others now.

 Hope all of you are well tonight.  Sara, the weather mentioned frost in your area, I think.  I think you have your seedlings inside though.

 If you all think of something we've missed, please let me know.

  

  

telinde

Did anyone mention a pillow for his bed?

dayn2nite2

Lorita, to be honest with you I would dissuade him from taking furniture from his home.  That house is likely to be very hoarded (he mentions drawers being packed full of things).  A regular moving company will not have the time to fight their way through piles of clutter to find his things and it would be better for him to have a new twin mattress/boxspring, bed frame and 1 dresser.  You are going to have to be a gatekeeper of sorts - keeping him from dragging all these "sentimental" items with him and hoarding his space in the facility.

And he does NOT need 2 dressers, just one with maybe 6 drawers.  They will be doing his laundry, he isn't going to the Oscars every night so definitely doesn't need a vast wardrobe, just basics.

Remember, he has been living in his recliner at home because he probably can't even get to his bedroom.  It's going to take a specialized cleanup company to un-hoard that house, and that is something you can have his daughter coordinate if she wishes to do that.

loveskitties

Lorita,  you have certainly had your hands full coordinating things for Jack.

You might remind him that what he moves now is "starter" stuff.  For the near future, at least, all his things will still be in his house and as he gets settled he may find that are other things he needs or wants.  

He can start a list of "would be nice to have" items for moving later.  Hopefully he will find that having a less cluttered living space will be just what he wants and nothing substantial will get on the list.

He will also need microwavable dishes/containers which he might not have at home.  He may need a reminder to not use plasticware in there if he isn't used to having that convenience. 

Prayers that all goes well for him in his new home and for you who have done so much to see to his welfare.

Hugs

loveskitties

Just a quick update on things here.

Monday several of us did a "preview" with the funeral director to determine if there would be open or closed casket for Dad....They did a great job and he looked well enough to determine open casket for visiting/viewing times.  As it turned out we had a very late snow storm here so my travels getting my mother to and from funeral home and then getting home myself were not ideal...but made it without incident.

Today was the service in their home church.  While not a very large turn out, the important people to my mother were there.  It was very nice.  My son read a piece I had written about Dad, and my granddaughter read a piece I had written about his service in World War II.

The rest of the family has gone to stay at  hotel near the church where final services and interment are to be tomorrow.  I opted out of the hotel as it is only a little over an hour away and I wanted time to myself to decompress a bit.

After the service there will be military honors service at the grave site.  

We have set up a small reception at a nearby hotel for those attending...would usually have done it in church fellowship hall, but it was not available.

Mother is doing ok with the help of small dose of ativan daily,  prescribed by her PCP.

So far, I am holding it together...will take some time later to let out all the emotions of dealing with the loss of a wonderful father.

Lorita

Hi Joan, I think Jack has a pillow on his list but thanks for the reminder.  I have a Chewy box (they're nice boxes) for his bed linens and I've put a place setting in a box for him.  We'll leave everything he buys tomorrow at his house for the movers to take to the ALF.

He called me this evening to see how things were going. I'll take him someplace to get his covid test, then to WM for what he needs, then back home so he'll be there when the movers come.

 Day - he's only taking the recliner he likes, his  TV and walker plus the other little things he wants to take.  I don't want him to get over there and think of anything he wishes he had taken.  I've asked him if there was anything he wanted to take that would make him feel more at home and there wasn't except a picture of his parents and daughter and one of Patsy.  I asked if there was room for his two chests and was assured there was.  It may well be that they won't be able to get to them or the bed.  I checked with one furniture company and the only chest they had was a two drawer - another had a four drawer so doesn't seem like they're as easily obtained as you'd think.  All the movers have to do is dump the drawers.  He was a little concerned that he wouldn't have his recliner to sleep in tomorrow night but said he'd make it all right on the loveseat - I doubt he'll sleep anyway - he didn't last night.

 I'm glad things are going well with the arrangements for your dad and that your mother is handling it all right.  The military part of the service is nice - we had that for Charles.  It's very hard to lose a parent.  I miss each of mine every day.  Seems like when I go out to the barn I feel close to daddy because he spent a lot of time there and I can visualize him plowing  the fields all around the house.  You know I have an aerial picture of the farm and it happened that daddy was walking out to the barn just as they took the picture.  He was probably carrying water out to a cow he had up.  I cherish that picture.

 I hope things go smoothly and I think they will.  Just hope it doesn't rain much tonight so I can drive the car which will be much easier for Jack to get in and out.  In a way I think it's sad - leaving a home you've lived in for 30 years with your wife who is now gone - but, he's ready to move on and get a better life so I hope that comes to fruition.  I can imagine how I'd feel if I had to leave this house and all the memories I have.

 Thanks to all of you for your input and suggestions and assuring me that it was the right thing to do.  You can't imagine how appreciative Jack is and it's guanine.  He keeps telling me he owes me so much - he doesn't owe me one thing and I've told him - just knowing he'll be better off is al I need or want.

 I called Mike to see if Stormy is okay.  He said he had cut his foot pretty badly and he's all right.  I'll pick him up in the morning after I drop Jack off at home.  I can't imagine what cut his foot.  I need to check the yard.  It's lonesome without him.  Sheena is very quiet but she did help me eat a sandwich at suppertime and she had a milk bone.  I bet there were at least half a dozen big dogs at the clinic and lots of little ones.  I don't know how Mike does all he does - the clinic, taking care of his cattle and making farm calls to care for everyone elses.   I guess it comes from love of his work.

So, with that I'll stop for the night.  Tomorrow's another day and I'm a bit tired. Hope all of you have a good night's sleep.  Thanks again for all your help - much appreciated.

Jo C.

My goodness; I certainly do agree with Day.  He is going to try and have the movers dig and drag through a hoarding situation to dig out a 55 year old bed frame?  Really?

That makes no sense whatsoever.  Twin beds are twin beds, but the beds and frames are made a bit differently these days which may affect how they fit.

Lorita, this is getting concerning that now he wants to have the hoarding dug through and take some of the hoarded objects with him such as two old dressers that are crammed with junk and a 55 year old bed frame.  Don't forget; he was part of the hoarding problem even if Patsy did most of it.   I would totally discourage him from doing that.   Frankly; I would refuse.

It is a new life; a clean life, it would be far best to get the new bed frame to go with the new mattress and box spring and if he needs to buy a new dresser, so be it.  New; fresh, clean and no tiny insects or mice hiding.

Not appropriate in any way for the movers to have to try and dig their way through all that dreadful hoarding pileup to find things and then have to dig paths to get the stuff out of the room.  Not acceptable.  It is possible that there may be insects or even mice in the drawers that are filled with junk. It is also possible that the movers may be exposed to unhealthy matter that has developed over years while digging through the piles and piles of stacked junk.

So not appropriate. They will not have protective suits, gloves and masks as the experienced people wear when clearing out such places.

 Jack will have a closet for his clothing and a dresser to hold his smalls should do it.  Perhaps he would want a night stand later for next to his bed and an end table next to his chair. 

Will he have lamps for one next to his recliner chair and one near his bed?  

Wonder if his TV mounts on the wall or if he needs a table for it to sit on. 

This has turned into a lot for you; I am so sorry and wish we were near so we could be of assistance.

Soon it will be done. 

 J.

Mint

32F, 0C.  

You are having a week Lorita.  You may sleep a few days too when you get a chance.  Hope Stormy is doing ok.

Yes Lorita it is a small hospital close to my house.

When I say squad I mean whoever you would call if you had a medical emergency.  Here they will come and help you with things like that.

Hope your roads are ok to day.  Hard for me to even imagine your guys road situation.  When we first moved to our farm the road was gravel but you never had to worry about getting your car over them.  That was  over 40 years ago. Later on they tarred and chipped the country roads.

Marie it is hard to lose our dad’s.  Sometimes I wish I could talk with my mom, but that is gone too.

Lorita hope things go smoothly for you and Jack today.  It is sad he has to leave home but it is also sad how he was living.  His basic needs could no longer be met there.

Good Lord’s will will get mom’s grocery shopping done today.  Hope it is a dry day and can get some rainbow eggs today.  My sister and mom want them too.  They both liked them.  If not today maybe Saturday.  Giving sunshine Saturday.  Since she puts them in a cooler at the end of her long lane she can only put them out when it’s dry.  We continue to get a bit of rain. Haven’t been able to put plants out on porch for quite awhile.  Maybe today, we will see.

Take care everyone

dayn2nite2

It'll be interesting to see the condition of the recliner.  I'm not optimistic.  Please be prepared for it to be in such poor condition the facility won't allow it in.  I am imagining a profoundly depressed man living in a hoarded home, certainly not doing any cleaning/decluttering and Lorita I know it's never been discussed with him because it's a delicate topic, but I'm wondering if the bathroom is even in working condition at this point.  If it is and there was a path to the bathroom, fantastic.  But if there was no path it's possible he fashioned another arrangement for himself and there may have also been times when he had accidents in the recliner.

If a dresser can't be found right now, that's okay.  He can hang the majority of his items and there is always a shelf in a closet for others OR he can get one of those plastic 4-drawer containers at WM for his socks/underwear.

As Jo says, it's very possible there is vermin in the home now, and also black mold from years of disrepair.  If you've ever watched an episode of Hoarders you'll remember how often they find them, alive and dead, under piles of clutter.

Do NOT volunteer for the job of making the home ready for sale.  Tell him he will need to speak with his daughter so she can get that done.  You will have completed your job when he is delivered to the facility.

ronald71111

Just a short note to let everyone know I haven't left the front porch! I have been listening and am aware of all the problems and praying for you.

It hasn't been good the last few days with Lou and other problems, but the front porch is overwhelmed with activites right now. I know you will keep Lou and I in your thoughts.

Ron

Jo C.

Is today the day of Jack's transfer to the apartment or is it tomorrow?   Nearly there in any case.

So hope the recliner is alright.   I had also had inner thoughts along the lines of what Day has mentioned regarding it.  Here's hoping that the recliner is in decent condition.   It is good that there is staff to do apartment cleaning for the residents, that hopefully will keep his apartment in shape or at least clean.

 If his TV sits on a table he probably should have that table taken with it.  I also had a thought . . . when we talk about bed frames, I am thinking only of the frame the box spring and mattress fit upon.  It may be he wanted his daughter's 55 year old "bed frame" because it has a headboard attached. 

If there is a lamp table next to his chair, he may well need to take that table and lamp with him.  If there is a second lamp with table where Patsy used to sit, he may want to have that go with him too.  That way, there would be a lamp next to his sitting area with his recliner as well as a lamp next to his bed area.

As for dressers; I imagine that the furniture store where the mattress was bought is not a full furniture store since they had no dressers.  There are many other stores that will have an adequate choice of dressers and they can be seen online to make a choice.  Doesn't need to be a fine furniture store - many of the big box discount furniture stores have a good selection of reasonably priced dressers of different sizes.  Such stores also deliver; some at no cost, while others deliver for a minor fee.

I would imagine that the house will not go up for sale for awhile should Jack want to wait and see how things go in the new place.  He could decide to do change in plan and go back home again.   IDEA:  If Jack has only one key to the house, it could get lost.  Perhaps he would let you have his key copied and you could keep it in a safe place so there is at least one more in case of need.

Though you will not be involved in his house sale, Lorita; just for information:  Sometimes, when there is a hoarded house or house in need of significant repairs, it is not put on the market for open sale . . . there are investor groups that buy troubled properties "as is" and rehab them.  They buy low, rehab and then sell at a good price to make a profit.  Jack is in no condition to manage such a complex set of dynamics to fix his home for open market sale, and it sounds as though his daughter has mental health problems (?) and would not be able to manage the complexity of doing a house rehab and hoarder remediation to get the house on the market and sold either.  Real Estate Offices have knowledge of investor groups; one can call several of such offices and speak to the primary Broker at each to gain information re the process and which office one would want to deal with.  

Here's hoping for the very best move with no hiccups and that all will be a very positive fresh start for Jack from which he strongly benefits being he will be once again safe, secure and hopefully happy.

The idea of him getting to an ophthalmologist to have his cataracts addressed to help his vision is a good idea once all is settled and he is adapted.  The ALF staff should be able to assist with that. Of course his primary care MD probably has names of ophthalmologist's he refers his patients to.  That is in the future of course.

It's odd; I have never met the gentleman, but I am truly sincerely hoping for success for his new adventure to hopefully, a much better quality of life.

  J.