Just need to talk to my friends (189)

ronald71111

Loveskitties, have you considered suggesting home therapy for your mom. That would get you out of driving her and also someone to talk to while she's exercising. Dont know what else to tell you.

Lou and I are going out for lunch with a group from church. Last night I fixed steak, baked potato and salad. Tommorow we will go pick Lou out a new spring outfit to wear Friday for our anniversary and Thursday rest our bellies for Friday. 

You rockers with medical background.....I need advice. I sent my PCP another message yesterday stating I would like to see a cardiologist and also need a consult for sleep study. The nurse responded she would send it to PCP for review. I just feel like they dont consider mild concentric LVH serious. I am correct that this is definently something they should be following up on, especially since I was taken off blood pressure medicine last December when I was having fainting spells.

Ron

Lorita

Morning,

It's a bright, sunny morning but the north wind is cold.  I left the gate open for the girls to go in north of the house to eat the grass that's there and there are several of them in there grazing.  They keep getting close enough to the driveway alarm to set it off and every time it goes off Stormy barks and goes to the window.  Don't think anyone could slip in on us.  I have another one that came in the set and have thought about putting it on the main gate or at least halfway down the driveway - that would really keep him going, wouldn't it.

Marie - Ron's suggestion is a good one if they provide that service in your mother's town.  My friend who fell and broke her ankle had PT at home after she came home.  I imagine your mother may be using this as a way to have you come and see her so often but driving that far twice a week is a lot for you to do when there are other solutions.  About the senior citizen thing - if your mother could get acquainted with one or two of the women who go there I bet she would enjoy it but that presents another problem with getting her acquainted.  Dealing with elderly, not well parents can be a problem - we want to do all we can but there can be a limit.  My mother lived a quarter mile from us and she still left home at night, got caught in a barbed wire fence a mile from home and was upside down when we finally found her.  Even being that close to her there were still problems.  

Have you talked with the therapist about whether the extra two months of PT would help?  You have a problem so take a little time and think about all the solutions.  I'm sure others on our thread will have suggestions that will give you other options.  You're a good daughter and want to do the best you can for your mother but there does come a limit.

Ron, enjoy your luncheon today.  Does Lou realize that your anniversary is this Friday?  I know you've told us but can you remind me how many years you all have been together.

Sad - You began your time with alz. about the time mine ended.  Charles was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2008 and I lost him in 2015.  I began this thread in 2008 because I had so many questions.  My mother also had alz. and I lost her in 2006 but still didn't know nearly enough.  My sister also had alz and at the time Charles was diagnosed I had no one to talk to about what was happening because it was also happening to my sister.  I had to find answers so this thread was started.  I learned so much from all the wonderful people who have come and gone and are still here on the thread.  If you have a question, no matter how insignificant it may seem, ask it and someone will have the answer for you.  I can still remember the first person who responded to my questions - her name was Dana and she signed her post Your sister in Alzheimers.  It made me feel welcome to the point I felt like asking anything and I did.  

There are so many wonderful, caring people on our thread and on the other threads and they're always ready to answer questions and just be there when you need to talk.  We're glad you've found us.

Marie and Beth, thanks for the information about the covid tests.  I've found I really don't need more.  I thought the ones I had were expired because I'd had them a long time but when I opened a box I found the expiration date - Sept. of this year.  Iris, I have CHAMPVA so getting more wouldn't be a problem - just thought ordering them on the phone would be easier.  I've called my bank and credit union and told them what happened so they'll notify me if anything unusual starts to happen on my accounts.  I think if it is a scam they're probably not going to send them but will charge Medicare.  It's a shame that we have to be so careful about everything because it might be some kind of scam.  As older people we're just not used to it and are more trusting.

Didn't sleep too well  last night - slept a while, woke up and watched TV a while, then finally back to sleep.  I still have my gown and robe on - may change a little later.  No one will be here so I'm comfortable and that's what's important right now.

Ron, be persistent.  If you feel you need further testing be the squeaky wheel.  We know our own bodies.  

Back later.

Lorita

HI agsin,  any ideas about those crumb cakes and if they're still safe to eat?  Probably baked March 20 and got to me March 27.   Unopened and individually wrapped but not refrigersted.  They are shipped at ambient temp.

ladyzetta

Lorita.

Are they supposed to be kept refrigerated? if they don't need to be refrigerated, I think they should be OK. I buy packaged cupcakes and I don't refrigerate them, and they are good. Does the box have any warnings on it?  Maybe I should be refrigerating my cupcakes? 

Lorita

Zetta,he says to put them in the freezer when you get them or put a couple in the refrigerator if you will eat them soon.  Freezing is supposed to make the moister.  I never refrigerate cupcakes either.

ladyzetta

Is there a number on the box you can call.

Mint

Good evening

Marie I know that feeling, except my mom uses repairmen for socialization.  At home PT sounds good.  Is there an area agency on aging in your area where you could get transportation set up for her.  It would cost way less than what you are paying in gas costs.

Lorita I would read the side of the package.  Guessing they have plenty of preservatives in them and will be ok but don’t know.

Steak, baked potato and salad is a favorite meal of mine.

Had a nice work day

jfkoc

Lorita...you can make these in your gown and robe, put them in your freezer and not have to worry about delivery again.

https://www.thepioneerwoman.com/food-cooking/recipes/a42134532/crumb-cake-recipe/

Lorita

Morning,  bright and sunny.  Little cool but it will warm up to the ,80s next week.  Guess spring is here.

Hope everyone is well.  Lots of bawling going on here,- girls are being fed.  Grass north and west of the house has been mowed,- by the girls.

Back laTer time for juice.

harshedbuzz

loveskitties wrote:

I need some advice and I don't know anyone wiser than my friends on the porch. 

I mostly lurk here, but your post really spoke to me. I am living a version of this as well. Mom is 85 and while medically complex at this point, she is able to live independently with my help. My parents moved away from this area in 2000-- the week my son was diagnosed with ASD. After years of ignoring my concerns about dad's obvious cognitive issues, the other shoe dropped dramatically which led to me moving them back here in 2016. I have been supporting mom through dad's dementia, death and continue to do so. I'm my parents' only surviving child and mom has no friends or family local. I'm it and the emotional burden I feel to keep her well and happy feels tremendous at times. 

My mother is 98 years old, lives alone since my dad died last year, refuses to consider going to an independent living or AL community, and lives 1 1/2 hrs from me, still drives locally and has had no falls or major health issues for several years. 

I, too, failed to convince mom to consider a very nice Quaker CCRC near me. I did find her a nice carriage house in a 55+ community with all manner of amenities and activities and nice shopping a mere 1/4 mile walk away. Alas, you can lead a horse to water...

My problem is that the sessions were to be over Thursday this week, and now all of a sudden they have been extended thru the end of May.  I have checked her my chart and find nothing outstanding in the way of issues.  There is no cure for PV, but there are exercises which can be done at home to help...don't see any indication that this has been taught to my mother.  I have not observed any significant increase in abilities.  In my opinion she gets around very well for her age. 

Are you attending these sessions? I attend every appointment. In your shoes, I would ask to see the written goals for the PT and discuss options for meeting those goals. Could she do PT at home? She'd still get the socialization but without you being there.

Could she get there another way? I have occasionally used Gogograndparent for my mom's transportation needs. It's a concierge service that contracts with Uber and Lyft but stays in touch during the process for an additional fee. I even get a text/email when she gets picked up and dropped off. I have suggested to my mom that she call them to get to her indoor pool or to the thrift shops she enjoys prowling around but she is loath to spend money around this despite pissing away vast sums on clothing and fine jewelry. 

I think that my mother is using this as an opportunity to have someone/anyone around for company...she even has the PT therapist talking about her personal life.  While mother enjoys socializing she refuses all efforts to get involved in anything.  There is a senior center less than a block from her house.  She complains that any activity is made up of "younger folks".  I told her she will not find many folks in her age group. 

I know what you mean. My mom loves to go to any medical office. She's got a lot going on and saw 14 medical specialists last year which is down from the year prior. She gets all dressed up and, with the exception of her phlegmatic PCP, the docs and staff dote on her. She gets all kinds of positive feedback for being the cool little old lady with the adorable shoes. And I get to hear how lucky I am to have such a creature in my life which only makes me feel like the Grinch because they are right. I just found out that a new medication has been approved for Dry AMD that will consist of a series of injections every 23-60 days. She could have this done 2 miles from her house at a satellite office of her ophthalmologist but has already stated she'd be more comfortable going to the eye hospital office an hour away by train.

I hear her on the paucity of potential friends her age. Last summer I made a concerted effort to get mom to her outdoor pool several times a week in hopes of getting her more engaged with neighbors. Most of the people there were super friendly with65-year-old-me; her, they ignored. It was like she was invisible. 

My feelings on the extended PT are this...I feel mother is using this as her socialization.  I do not feel at her age and abilities that more PT will have any positive impact on her balance or the PV.  I think the PT therapist is taking advantage of the situation.  I am also conflicted with mother thinking I should be willing to do this for 2 more months with out even asking me (I found out about the extended visits on her my chart).  I feel mother is manipulating me and the therapist. 

She probably is. But I can certainly understand why she enjoys the attention. If you are feeling used, maybe you could make the outing as minimal as possible saying you don't have time for lunch or shopping. Sometimes, I do this. She'll call with a plan for me to take her to buy something and I'll offer to have it shipped from Amazon or Chewy. Or I'll pick her up takeout and take her home to eat it. 

I love my mother, but I am having a hard time with this.  She says "this is what I had you for"...  I also hate driving!

Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Sorry this is so long. 

If you land on anything, let me know.

HB

Mint

Hi HB,  Glad you pulled up a chair.

Went to coffee  cafe with a guy I used to work with and his wife.  We had a nice visit.  Did not wear my mask, hope I don’t live to regret that.  Was not crowded at all at first, few more people came in later.  Anyway we had a nice visit and his mother has no dementia, but her husband died  two years ago I believe.  He said she calls him every day to do something.  He realizes it is for socialization.  It’s hard on everybody.  My mom refuses to see a doctor or take a pill but calls repairmen on a regular basis.  Laugh out loud my mom called the lawn mower guy the other day and was going to ask him to come and hang her clothes out.  She has a dryer.  He put her new clothesline up guess he should have figured out what would follow.  He didn’t answer his phone.  Guess she will try  again soon.

Fairly decent day here too in my part of Ohio.  If I have time this afternoon will try to pick sticks up again.

Take care

Lorita

Hi again,

Sara, you didn't wear your mask!  Hard to wear a mask and drink coffee or eat something though, isn't it?  I'm sure you'll be okay.

Picking up stick - you should see our  yard.  Some of our trees are really old and the limbs break way up high and when the wind blows they come down - some are as big around as my thigh - that would hurt if you happened to be under it when it fell.  I can't really bend over long enough to pick them up so maybe Bryon can do that for me.  I need to find a time when it's not rainy or just rained because of how wet it is and in the spring it's sometimes hard to do.

Put some brown beans on to cook in the slow cooker.  I usually cook two cups and have to freeze at least half of them.  This time only cooked one cup -  no room to put them in the freezer now.  I've thought I could make it with just the freezer in the refrigerator and most of the time I can.

It's chilly here this morning and windy.  Weatherman says this will be the least windy day of the week - supposed to be sustained winds up to 40 mph on Friday so fire danger will be extremely high - glad it's greening up.  They fed this morning - or at least I saw one truck.  I think they only set out one bale and fed the grain.  There are some girls around that bale but most of them are grazing.  The washer repairman is coming tomorrow so I'll wait two or three days to let them back north of the house and the grass will grow some more, too.  

Carol sent me a picture of her wild violets yesterday - they're so pretty - purple and white.  I checked mine and there's only three or four clumps - no blooms.  There were so many of them last year but where they were there's lots of those short weeds with tiny purple flowers.  I know I watered them some of the time so hope they come up later.

Had a call from Jimmy the Baker's bakery this morning.  The woman says the crumb cakes are all right to leave sitting on the counter for up to two weeks before you freee them,  so these will be okay.  I did put them in the refrigerator as soon as I got them.  I think I may make one of those wacky cakes this afternoon - haven't had one of those in several weeks.  

Slept well last night - went to sleep before MN watching Barney Miller, then woke up about 1:30 and turned off the TV and went back to sleep.  Woke up at 7 and got up not long after. Even the GPs slept through the night.  Saw a little bit of the Pioneer Woman this morning and she was making her mother's recipe for white sandwich bread.  Looked really easy and made two big loaves.  I wrote down the recipe so may try it in a few days.  I used a fresh jar of bread machine yeast this last time and the loaf was softer - texture was looser (not sure that's the right word) but it was good.  I like a texture that's a little bit firmer.

Ron, the weatherman is showing the area for severe weather Friday - looks like you're just out of the worst area and it's just east of us so maybe it'll be okay.  Hope Lou and you are doing all right this morning.  How many years did you say you all have been married?  The 52nd anniversary for Charles and I is coming up on April 22 - hard to believe it would have been that long ago. 

They're making fettuccini alfredo on our noon show - one of my favorites.  She said it's about $18 a serving in restaurants.  Carol talks about how expensive eating out is now - they do it almost every day but usually bring home enough for another meal.

Enjoy the afternoon.

ronald71111

Lorita, Friday will be 56 years for Lou and I. Monday I cooked filet mignon, baked potato and salad. Tuesday we went to Monjounes Italian restaurant. Today I bought Lou two new outfits to wear and had lunch at Red Lobster. Thursday we will give our bellies and check book a rest. Haven't made my mind up yet about Friday, I did order her a corsage. 

Nice outside today until the wind blows, than it's a little chilly. 

Ron

Lorita

Ron, you and Lou are celebrating the whole week!  I know she will enjoy wearing those two new outfits.  Love Red Lobster-  bet you all do, too.  Wind is chilly here, too.

Lorita

Beth, forgot to ask earlier - did you get to see the planets in alignment last night?   Hope you did.  They said it would be 2040 before it happens again.  I tried but there were too many trees in the way.  I think it said we would be able to see them for two weeks?  But, best night was last night.

Very quiet day here.  I did cook those beans with carrots and potatoes - really hit the spot.  Also made one of the wacky cakes - had to taste-test it - twice.  

Haven't been able to get in touch with Sarah so don't know if she went to the hospital or not.  Maybe I can talk with her tomorrow.  

Rest well tonight.

BethL

Ron, wishing you and Lou a very happy 56th anniversary! You are such a loving husband. She is blessed to have you.

I went out the past two nights to try and see the 5 planets. I only saw Mars and Venus. Jupiter and Mercury were to be on the horizon, and there were trees obscuring my view of those two. And Uranus, I think you may have needed binocs or telescope to see. 

I made a stir fry today. Cooked rice and topped it with stir-fried chicken and California mixed vegetables. Very tasty, and healthy too. 

Lorita, I see that the little owls have left the nest. 

Beth

Lorita

Beth, the little owls had been flexing their wings a couple of days so I thought they were about really to fledge.  They are so cute!

Also see there's snow on the eagle's next agsin, All that work and about time for eggs agsin.  David said about 48 hours after mating there should be an egg.  Hope so.

Guess we will miss the 2040 realignment at least I will.

Love stir fry and it is healthy.  I can make a meal on fried rice!

Joan, where are you?  Hope you're okay.

See you all tomorrow.

ladyzetta

Hello All,

Beth.  You got my mouth watering for stir fry, what all did you put in it? Was it a bag of frozen vegies that you added? Did you have a stir fry sauce?

Sara.  I had to laugh when you told us about your Mom calling the lawn mower guy to come over and hang up her cloths. Hopefully she is safe about letting people in her house, this must bother you a lot. Iam glad you had a good visit over coffee. I would love to have a coffee friend. 

Lorita.  It's nice your crumb cakes are still good, being separately wrapped probably helps a lot. Sounds like you are having some nice weather. Iam still dealing with snow. 

It has been funny watching Jackie she has been bringing in big sticks and messing up all the nice work that Shadow has been doing on the nest. They seem to be mating a lot lately so hopefully some eggs will show up soon. 

Ron.  I would love to see a picture of you and Lou in one of her new outfits. I bet she will be beautiful. What a wonderful time you have been having celebrating your upcoming anniversary. Congratulations to the both of you. 

Its time for me to be going to bed, so Good Night All, Hugs Zetta 

ronald71111

Been up since 1:45 this morning! Seems like with daylight saving time I would be sleeping later!! Besides wanting answers on my heart issues, I believe the sleep study could give some of the answers I need. Hopefully I'll ear something soon, I keep pressing my dr for answers with very little feedback. 

Was watching the news this morning and was saddened to hear about the Fort Campbell helicopter crash. Fort Campbell was where I was stationed when I met Lou and Cadiz, KY is where she was born and grew up.

I've noticed the last few times I've taken Lou out to eat that her feeding herself habits are getting worse. I now cut her meat up into bite size for her and a few times when she is having difficulty putting the food on her fork, I'll do it for her. That's ok though.....eating is one of the few things she still enjoys, if I have to feed her I will.

Ron

Mint

 Good morning, 

Lorita, I wish you had a friend to have a cup of coffee with too.  I had tea but water would’ve been OK. It’s about probably a 45 minute drive for them. I’ve told them that I will come to their place too. I don’t feel they should have to do all the driving.  They live in a very small town, guessing there might not even be a coffee shop.

I had tea but water would’ve been OK. It’s about probably a 45 minute drive for them. I’ve told them that I will come to their place too. I don’t feel they should have to do all the driving. They always come here. I have a feeling they live in a very small town there might not even be a coffee shop.

Violets are beautiful, but they’re pretty invasive. Here the dandelions and the violets bloom at the same time and if a yard is full of them, It’s really beautiful.

Really like stirfry too. Don’t make it very often though, not sure why.

Zetta there were times when I lived there it bothered me regarding people my mom messed with or tried to mess with. Mainly now it’s just all the different repairman and neighbors.

Joan hope you are OK too 

Take care everyone

BethL

Zetta, I used a bag of frozen stir fry vegetables. I fried that with cut up chicken breasts and served  it over rice. My husband puts on soy sauce but I just use seasoned salt (like Lawry's). No sauces, although you could. I think it'd be good with cashews too.

We will get groceries today. Normally that is a Friday thing but there are warnings for severe weather on Friday. I also want to get gas and go to a phone store and get another, spare iPhone charging cord. 

You may recall I got 1/4 beef and that included a flat brisket. I've never cooked one. I found a recipe for cooking it in the oven. It is cooked at a low temp over many hours. I am thawing it. I will apply a rub (dry marinade) tomorrow and cook it Saturday. I will have to let you know how it turns out. 

I got some Cadbury eggs and Reese's peanut butter eggs for the grandkids. Of course, Ron and I will eat some too (and already have). Yum! 

I have a few blooms: winter aconite and crocus. It's always good to see the first flowers of the season!

Lorita

Zetta, the nest is filled with snow!  If she laid an egg in thst, it would freeze!  I watched Shadow trying to find the right place for that big  stick yesterday.  He really worked at it.  

The washer repairman  is supposed to come today.  

Pretty morning ,-warm but cloudy.  Better eat a bite before he comes.  Back later.

Iris L.

Ron, congratulations on your 56th wedding anniversary.  You have been giving Lou a wonderful week.

Beth, do you cook your chicken or use rotisserie chicken from the market?

Iris

Lorita

Day, I'm watching the second two-hour show of Denim &Co. With Jane Brown this week.  She's really good with Gary.  Thoroughly enjoying it.  I hope she'll be with him each Tuesday.

No water repairman yet but time is 9-5.   Cloudy and very windy.

loveskitties

Thanks friends for your suggestions regarding my mother's situation.  Unfortunately she won't consider in-home PT.

Another 8 hr day today for another PT session, travel and lunch.  Therapist told her she needs 10 more sessions.  Said that while the positional vertigo is not very bad, 10 more sessions will either fix it or it will stay at current level (which is only occasional and of very short duration.  She is in denial that the PV can't be fixed...apparently she "knows people" who have had it go away...guess Mayo Clinic hasn't gotten the word on the "cure" since they say it is not curable without surgery.

I found an organization local to my mother that will do companion services, including taking to appointments.  Caregivers are insured and bonded.  Showed web site to my mother and she had me place a call.  Got voice mail and left message for them to call mother.  Of course they called while we were out and left number to call.  Mother told my daughter she couldn't understand the number.

I guess I will contact them myself tomorrow and have them call me.  Mother wants brochure...which I doubt they have...if not will just have to set up an intro visit to the house and try to get her on board with the service.

Hope this place works out because 10 more runs in the next 2 months is not what I want in my future!

Thanks again for your thoughtful replies.

Mint

Good evening

Marie so hope that service works out for you.  

Beth so hope your weather don’t get too crazy.  Suppose to be windy and rainy here Friday and Saturday.  Let us know how the brisket turns out.

Did your repairman show up Lorita?

telinde

Hi everyone.  I’ve been reading but haven’t been posting. I thought I better let you know I’m ok.  I’ve had cataract surgery on one eye. It’s so nice to see how bright everything looks.  I’ll have the other eye done later this year.  It was so fast and so easy, and the results are amazing. I’m back in physical therapy for my back. I have stenosis and it is causing me to have trouble walking and keeping my balance. I have felt better doing PT, but don’t know if I’ll ever walk normal. I’m praying I will because you all know how I like being on the go. 

We have snow again today. Winter has been hard and cold this year, and is hanging on tight. Our side of the state is out of the drought, and our snow pack is above average this year. We’ve had a few days in the 40’s and get a tease spring is here, then more storms and back to that 30’s. 

I had a sewer backup in my basement recently and have been dealing with repair people and insurance adjusters for a couple of months.  I’m thankful that is almost finished. What an awful thing to deal with, but everything will be new and clean when finished.

Sounds like I’m being a downer, but just letting you know what’s happening here. I’m actually ok and can continue doing what I want, but at a slower pace for sure. I need to get moving better so I can chase my grands and watch them play their sports. In June I’ll get to watch granddaughter retire her FFA jacket after her year as a State officer.  I’m looking forward to that. 

I’m still on a hunt for a smaller house with no stairs.  I put an offer on one recently, but got outbid, so will keep looking.  In the meantime, I’m getting rid of all the extra stuff around here that I don’t need and nobody wants.  I have bedding, table linens, and a lot of dishes and serving platters and bowls we used when we entertained a lot.  I’m making a dent, so that is good.

Sounds like you’re all keeping busy.  I hope winter gets out of here soon and we can all enjoy warmer days.  Lorita, did you say it was going to be 90 there this week?  I’ll be on your porch rocking away and enjoying the company. 

Have a good rest of the week and I’ll check in after the new platform comes out next week.  Stay safe.  Joan

Lorita

He did come, Sara, and put in the new part.  I haven't tried it so hope it works.  Two things fixed this week to take off my list.

Marie, really hope this works out for you.  Those two trips in a week is a lot to do when there may be other alternatives.  Hope your mother is receptive.

It's been raining here with some thunder which scares Sheena.  There's a lot of heavy rain between here and OKC.  Most of it will be east of us.  Hope there's not bad storms again tonight.  Looks like there's some bad weather in Iowa, too, Beth.  Be careful.

Looked out just now and the lot was full of cattle.  Guess they headed for the barn when it started raining and are waiting to see what happens before they go back to graze.  They head for the barn when it starts to rain and they think it'll last a while.  Pays to watch what they do.

Been a quiet day here - didn't put my foot on the ground that I remember.  Oh, I did, too, I went out and got Sheena in early this morning and checked the water tank.  There's water everywhere so they don't even have to go to the ponds to get a drink.

Better stop - laptop is pretty low on power and is on power saver.  Hope everyone east of here - and north - is safe tonight.  Listen to the TV or weather radio.  Also think the phones give warnings, too.

See you all tomorrow.

addendum:  the rain's over here for now. I normally go out and check the barn to be sure everyone's out but it was too wet this evening.  I went out on the porch and saw a cow hurrying up toward the barn so I thought her calf was probably still in there.  She got to the gate and must have said something really low (or the calf saw her) because he bawled - then she bawled to get him to come out.  She waited a couple of minutes and he came out and they went on up with the others.  Amazing how they seem to know where the babies are and go get them  and they make them come to them instead of going to the baby.  They really make them mind.  Just wanted to tell you that cute thing.  

BethL

Ron, Hearty congratulations to you and Lou today! Enjoy your day!

Iris, I buy frozen chicken breasts (bagged) and when I have a recipe to use them in, I just pull out how many I need and thaw them. 

Have a good weekend, all! Forum will be changing after the weekend. Hope we all can figure it out! 

Lorita

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LOU AND RON!!