Hello

vhthomas

Good afternoon. After reading my Alzheimer’s devotional this morning, I was led to connect with other caregivers. My mother has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. My sister and I care for her in her home along with two paid caregivers. It’s hard. Mom was officially diagnosed in 2020, and she is steadily regressing. I feel overwhelmed, stressed, but I know this is part of the disease.

I’m glad I found this forum because I know we understand what each other is going through. I look forward to connecting and reading about our journey.

harshedbuzz

@vhthomas

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but happy you found this place.

HB

SusanB-dil

Hi vhthomas - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Also dealing with MIL with alz and vasc. Yes, it is hard. Lots of good advice and commiseration here. I found that the folks here understand more than friends and family. We have rather understanding friends and most family, but they aren't 'living' this.

Rae4

Hi vhthomas- I too would like to welcome you here. I have been reading and learning over the past few months on this forum. It has been very helpful to me dealing with my mom who also has VD and AD. Although she doesn’t live with me, she is in AL, I am her POA and only involved child. It can be overwhelming at times, but the good knowledgeable people here help put things in perspective and offer good advice and share their stories. You mentioned an ALZ devotional, would you mind sharing where you found it?

I’m glad your here.

tritac72

Hi there

I am new to this forum also (just signed up an hour ago lol).

My father has vascular dementia. He will get further testing at a memory center next month. It’s been hard because my brother lives 8 hours away in another state so it’s only me that has to care for my father who thinks nothing is wrong with him because he is 85 and healthy other than the dementia with agitation/anger.

jbc

Hi, thanks for responding. I’m trying to find my way thru both dealing with my wife’s dementia and this support format. I do have good family support near as well as friends who are understanding and supportive. My wife has not been diagnosed. She recognizes she is having memory problems but always has a “reason”. She is able to function normally but slower and comments about being tired and not having energy, so some things don’t get done. I think I am doing pretty well dealing with the situation and coping with the repeated questions as long as I can be patient. The agitation/angst is indeed challenging. Plan to call the help line and find out what suggestions and guidance they have to offer. Hope you find the help and support you need.

jbc

vhthomas

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/195642#Comment_195642

Hey. Thank you for the sweet welcome. The name of the devotional is titled, “Grace for the Unexpected Journey: A 60-Day Devotional for Alzheimer’s and Other Dementia. It was gifted to me, but I gifted one to my sister and I purchased it from Amazon. I love it.

Rae4

Thank you vhthomas! I’m going to order the book right now. 🙏

jbc

I thought I was handling the memory loss and frequent questions fairly well but the last few days have been frustrating. DW’s memory span is getting shorter and the questions more frequent. She doesn’t remember what is in the refrigerator without looking and even looking at something wrapped she will forget what it about a minute after being told. Probably a more significant source of my frustration is my taking more time the past couple of weeks to be on my I-Pad and making phone calls while she is on the computer or resting. This is a comfortable routine for me and I’m not doing well shifting gears when I’m with her - think I’ve slipped back into a mindset of what is comfortable for me can be the “norm” for US. That is not the way the disease works.

I perceive my wife’s time on the computer is becoming more of a problem and I don’t know what to do about it. It has been her normal routine for years to get on the computer in the morning to read e-mail, pay bills, review charges, check book etc. Now with her memory being worse, everything takes longer and she goes over the same thing 3 or 4 times. She has developed a pattern or marking items unread when she is not sure what she wants to do about them. Then, when it shows up again, she doesn’t remember she has already seen it once or twice. I use to think I should just let it go but it is wearing her out physically and emotionally but she not ready for me to take over. I do go on the computer before she does to remove irrelevant emails and spam but that is not helping. Any suggestions?

JeriLynn66

What is it she “needs” to see if her short term memory is so limited? And I would question if there are safety issues

Emily 123

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/197614#Comment_197614

Hi jbc,

You'll get more responses if you post your question on its own as a 'New Discussion' so that more people see it. Use the 'New Discussion' button on the upper right part of the page.

Once the short term memory gets bad the person with dementia will rely on visual cues to remind them of tasks. Removing those visual cues (like bills, mail, etc) will help.

jbc

Thanks for both suggestions. I’m new at this.

M1

Jbc, you probably need to be strategizing for way s to wean her off the computer. If it's primarily email, a graNdpad might work temporarily, where you can limit email access. Regarding bills and the checkbook, i wish I had an easy answer. Would it work to change the wifi password and feign ignorance, saying that her computer is "broken" and has to be fixed, part is on backorder?

My partner was never very computer savvy and her computer days ended abruptly when i came home to find her on the phone with "Microsoft" having just given the scammer remote access to her hard drive. A very astute business woman, she resented my taking over the bills, but i kept it lighthearted and told her i was now her executive assistant. I got credit cards away from her but never did completely remove her checkbook, though i routinely opened outgoing mail and tore up many checks she wrote unceasingly to solicitors. It's not easy, and I don't envy you.