Just need to talk to my friends (196)

JeriLynn66

Good Morning Friends,

I slept like a rock. Thank you for all your responses re: Dear FIL.

I already had DFIL's uniform and all new accessories in the guestroom closet. We go to the funeral home at 11:30 to review arrangements. I'm trying to think where to put his ashes until we can get him to Arlington National Cemetery. (isn't that crazy? but really, what do you do? I'm not an ashes on the living room mantle kind of girl).

I had already written his obituary, so only have to type that this morning. I spent last evening calling his friends around the country. I spoke to his Catholic Nun friend. She has moved to NH from Maryland due to advancing age and her Order has a home that she has been assigned to. She told me she is having a difficult time adjusting but will "await the fullness of time". I hadn't talked to her in over a year. Though I've never met her, I felt guilty that I had not stayed in touch. So I've made a note on my calendar to call her once a month. Bless her. I have a stack of thank you notes here to write the next couple of days. Then next week begin the notification process for all the business stuff that has to be done. And finish cleaning out his AL apartment. Most of it is packed up for donation, just needs to be hauled off. And donate the furniture. But, that one picture… my late husband's grandmother. There's no one left to give it to except the one BIL that made a fuss over it when she died. MIL and he didn't get along and I don't much like him either. But, I guess the Christian thing to do is send it to him. I never met the Grandmother so it isn't like it's something I want to hang on my wall. Again, crazy thoughts running thru my head this morning.

All this has brought a very sore topic to the forefront. DH still has not completed a will. Still dillydallying over who he should give which screwdriver, truck, backhoe, etc. That piece of work will absolutely be done within 30 days. I put my foot down because if something happens then I am left with a mess to deal with among 3 brothers, a sister and 21 Grands and Great Grands. Not gonna happen.

Well, I've carried on this morning. More rain today.

Lorita, so glad to hear to about Darwin. He probably shouldn't cut wood for a while.

Back later, I've got to catch up on all the reading here. Have a good day.

ronald71111

JeriLynn, Lou and I will be buried in the northwest veterans cemetery. I has already decided if Lou goes before me, I'll hold on to her ashes and we will be buried together.

This could be me or any if us!

Ron

harshedbuzz

@JeriLynn66

Inurnment at Arlington is going to take some time. My best friend's brother's ashes were recently placed in a niche in March. He died early last summer. It was a lovely ceremony. Dad was inurned at a local National Cemetery; the funeral home held onto the ashes until the day of the burial which was about 3 weeks after he died.

I hear you on not wanting them as a decor item. My parents (now mom) have toted my sister's ashes around since 1994. She's spent time in 5 homes and 2 rentals. She used to travel up and down I-95 when they "snowbirded" in FL each winter. She's currently in mom's linen closet next to her nebulizer. Mom has tried to engage her now adult daughters in making a decision, but neither is interested.

HB

JeriLynn66

@harshedbuzz I love it. Actually, we would travel 95 to get to Arlington. FIL will be familiar with the route.

Ron, I'm saving that cartoon and printing it for my wall.

Lorita

Morning, bright and sunny here today. Going to be a hot weekend. My side is hurting this morning and did before I got up. Took my Flagyl and acetaminophen so it will be better.

Had my 8 am. call from Darwin. He had already been up walking. Had not seen the doctor but thinks he will probably come home this afternoon.

I ordered groceries last night with a pickup time between 10 and 11. After I get things inside I'll take a nap. Stormy has gotten in the habit of wanting out around 3 am so I let him out, go back to bed, then he wants in, So get up again for that.

Just got a text from WM that my order had substitutions so they're getting it ready. Subs, not many, have always been fine.

Hope all of you are well this morning. I'll be back later.

Lorita

Sandy, will you please call me. I can't find my phone in the LR. Please let it ring until I find it. Thanks.

Lorita

I'm going to go pick up my groceries and hope I don't need the new phone. I know it's in the LR because I heard the message signal. Will do it when I get back.

loveskitties

JeriLynn, regarding will and distribution of individual items.

My folks had similar issues and their wills were set up for all to go to XXX except those items on a separate signed list maintained by them but included with their documents. You might check to see if that is possible for your situation. It also allows you to change your mind, add or delete items without changing the will.

David1946

Hello everyone I had another "nightmare" last night if I can call it that. I don't really remember what it was the only thing I remember is that I woke myself and my wife singing " Amazing Grace" . I would rather wake up singing rather then screaming and crying.

Iris L.

I'm up.

jfkoc

here…

Lorita

Thanks, Sandy. Why in the world I forgot I had put the phone on the charger I'll never know.The older I get the more forgetful I get. Hope your throat gets better soon. I bet it is the smoke causing it.

Ron, that cartoon fits me exactly, especially this morning.

D had called about the time I left so hurried and called him. He was still waiting for the doctor to make rounds to discharge him. I doubt he'll be cutting wood for a few days but then he will back out there.

Got the groceries taken care of so that's done for another month. Lifting the heavy sacks didn't help my side much. But I'm okay now . I'm going to take s nap this afternoon.

JeriLynn, I have to get my will made. I have one from the early 70s but nothing in it applies now. Sarah has her mothers and grandmother' s ashes and wants them put inside her casket when she leaves us. She doesn't want to be cremated. I'm glad I have my arrangements made with the headstone in place. Still need to get my clothes to the funeral hone and write my obituary. No one else to do it.

Back later. It's hot outside with sunshine and calm winds.

JeriLynn66

Lorita, I wrote my FIL's obit, sent it to my kids and to the funeral home. He will be cremated tomorrow. We know the owner and the guy who does the cremations. So, they let DH and I visit in one of the prep rooms after they had dressed him in his uniform. He looked smart and at peace. I'm glad that's over. I felt I just HAD to see him before the cremation.

It's been a very long day and I'm too tired to read so I think I'll take a hot bath and put on a nightgown for the evening. See you tomorrow. Big hugs.

Lorita

You've had a rough few days, JeriLynn,so put on your gown and relax. You deserve that I remember when I was dealing with all of that, first for my daddy, then 13 months later for mother. It takes a lot out of you..

I took a nap and am hungry now. Seems like when I had this before I was on pretty much of a liquid diet for a while. Do you medical people know if I can have sherbet and gelato. I have. Vegetable broth and applesauce and yogurt which I believe is good. Also think I can have potatoes. It hurts!

Lorita

Darwin just called. Said he was home in bed with his woman where he should be. Said he was tired- it's been a long day for him. I told him if he needed anything to let me know. At least he's not taking care of cattle and he said he would not be cutting wood for a while. Doctor told him everything is okay now.

Caro_Lynne

Lorita so glad to hear Darwin is home "with his woman" 💙 Are his children still with him? I'm not sure if I remember his wife Donna has dementia? He sounds like he is in great shape for his age (80 if I remember). So glad you have each other!

JeriLynn just read about your FIL; you can rest easy knowing you always did right by him xo

jfkoc

Lorita… https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/nutrition/diverticulitis-diet-10-foods-to-include-during-flareups/ss-AA1l6kfc?ocid=msedgntp&pc=DCTS&cvid=e9dc39eb104240a48c6867dad4fb48af&ei=108#image=11

Lorita

Caro Lynn, he was 85 two or three weeks ago. Not a big man by any means. May have been 5'7" but is stooped and unsteady on his feet but still strong. Has been a big farmer and rancher all his life. Best neighbor a person could have. He's helped me with calves many times. When Charles was here he was son good to him and brought him home a few times when he would take off. His wife has alzheimers. He Said she' functions at a four year old level. Sad because she was a very good cook and homekeeper. She loved to bake banana bread and give it to people. Funny thing though, she was afraid of cows. I imagine one of his daughters will be with them a couple of days.

Thanks, Judith. I'll try to stay on liquids mostly a couple of days. This is my third attack and it's no fun. I didn't know Vit D deficiency is a contributing factor. Better keep taking that on a regular basis. I have juices and got some broth today. Just takes some time to recover, I guess.

Big game 6 between Thunder and Mavericks n a few minutes. They're playing in Dallas tonight.

Thanks again, Sandy for calling to help me find my phone.Take care of your throat. Will call you in a couple of days. Was going to take Stormy for a ride this afternoon but didn't feel like it so took a nap. So did he.

Mint

JeriLynne hope you get a good nights rest.

Sorry Lorita I don’t know anything about diverticulitis.

Good for Darwin, that’s cute. He can relax now.

Ron I enjoyed your poster.

I had a nice day. Got all my plants put out today except for my alyssum and Lobelia. Hopefully maybe I can get them Monday. We’ll see because I have mom on Monday and it’s also my day to get her groceries.
I watered everything again this evening that I’ve just put out because tomorrow I take care of mom in the morning and then the afternoon I go to the bridal shower, which is about an hour away from here. They’re giving it very warm again tomorrow and no rain again. Which is OK we really don’t need rain but you know how it is when you first sit things out. Kind of takes a little extra water for a bit. See a few of my seeds that sprouted have gotten either cut off or eaten by something that’s always a little bit of a battle when you raise seeds. Don’t seem to have trouble with it in the grow bags, it is when they’re in the ground.

See my peonies started blooming out today and my irises are blooming. Glad I was able to save a few of the irises. The lady I bought from had them around the two big locust trees in the front which I had cut last year. So I had to take up all the irises and my brother-in-law took most of them. I saved a few though, and planted them. Took the irises up two years ago so the first year which was last year they did not bloom. This year, the front group has a lot of blooms, but the back group only has one. I wanted to save a few as she told me I believe they were her grandmothers irises. And the lady I bought from was an older lady. They smell so good. I would kind of call it a grape smell.

I enjoyed the graduation party. The graduates dad and my brother-in-law worked together and we’re friends. So when the kids were young, they went camping together. So me and my other sisters would always go down to the campsite in the evening and stay several hours and eat bring food. Also, it happened that two of my sisters had went to school with his wife. So that’s how we all became friends. My one sister always has a cookout on July 4 at her house and she’s always invited them. So I had had the thought either yesterday or today that I wondered if it will be the last time I ever see him because I figured maybe he wouldn’t want to come to July 4 anymore . Guess I thought he would find us old folks boring. Then I thought well if he gets married and has a wedding we’ll probably get invited to that lol. And here it was the funniest thing we were talking to him and he said are you still going to have July 4. That just made me so happy when he said that and my sisters too. And my sister says yes I am and he said I want to still come . It was just great so if it’s the good Lord’s will we’ll all get together July 4. He doesn’t graduate till next weekend but he went to vocational school during high school and has already got a job as an electrician at some type of industry as soon as he gets out of school, so that’s great. He was disappointed that neither of my nephews were there. My oldest nephew now lives about an hour from here just got moved into a new apartment there recently, and is getting married in a month and has to work some weekends, so I’m not sure he could’ve even have been working. Then my younger nephew worked night shift last night so he was probably sleeping. We all need young people in our life. It’s really good for us, I feel as we get older it is good to have young people in our life. That was one thing I enjoyed about teaching clinicals was the young people. I think they’re good for you.

I see the cotton trees have started blooming, those are the messiest trees. I just dislike when they start blooming. And it lasts I’d say a couple of weeks. And it just gets all over everything. I don’t think they’re in someone’s yard. I have a feeling they’re in the woods back behind my house. There’s some around where my mom is living at too but it never created the mess that they create here. They’ll get my air conditioner unit just covered in it and my plants get covered in it I just don’t like it. I don’t even know what the tree looks like.

Hope each one gets a good nights rest.

Lorita

Mint, sounds like you had a nice time. We don't have any cottonwood trees but I know they can be messy with the cotton blowing everywhere. I had a bunch of tiny maple seedlings growing under the holly and something ate them, probably Rusty.

I'm really getting the metallic taste from the Flagyl- hate that. Darwin sent everyone home and he has been straightening up this afternoon. Said Donna didn't take any medicine while he was gone. She's beginning to act normal again. I told him he was her security blanket and she had been without him for almost two days. They told him not to lift anything heavy but to walk. He does that anyway.

I just saw an ad on tv for chips and salsa. Guess what I want now but I'm drinking berry blend Splash. Just not the same. Really a good ballgame. Thunder leads by 16, I think.

Sleep well, everyone.

Iris L.

Lorita, when I was in Tulsa, we saw a large group of young people dressed in all black, they said they were going to a Future Farmers of America convention. They looked more like young executives than farmers. I was thinking young farmers would be wearing dungarees and overalls and boots, not high heels (for the young ladies). But they all looked very serious, like our future farms will be in good hands.

The Diet for diverticulitis is a low fiber diet. So you are on the right track.

Iris

Mint

Good morning

ronald71111

Morning

JeriLynn66

Morning. Very foggy this morning but supposed to be sunny and hot until the rain begins on ?Thursay thru the next week. Looking out the office window, my front flower beds look like a jungle but something new has sprouted up and bloomed. I really have to stop just throwing random seeds everywhere out there🙄😏

I need COFFEE before brain fog overtakes me.

harshedbuzz

Good morning.

It's damp and gray here again this morning but supposed to improve. DS and I will go pop a couple of annuals in mom's garden later. I may bring her over for dinner as I'm making a real dinner. Braised short ribs. A first for me. I have really been phoning it in a dinner of late— last night was a cheat day for DS so we went out for yummy burgers, the night before we had hoagies, and the night before that I got them both Indian take-out which is at least super healthy after I had a massive lunch and didn't want to think about food. Tomorrow is Mom's eye injections which means dinner will be "simple" as I'll be hitting the house around 6pm after the rush hour drive to drop mom off and then get home.

My BFF finally told her DD about her upcoming colectomy. She put it off as she didn't want to share the news until she knew whether she had the heritable familial condition (she does not) so as not to stress her needlessly. And she waited for a weekend when she could 1) do it in person and 2) have DD's husband around for her. It went even worse than she'd expected. DD freaked out, started crying and ran out of the room and disappeared for almost an hour. BFF and the DH couldn't find her. Friend explained that this is a big surgery but something to keep her from getting sick in the future and explained the concrete ways in which she will need help and left it there. The kid did call back late last night to apologize and promised to help as needed. BFF and I talked and both thought if there's a silver lining to this ghastly surgery, it's that her kid (34 tomorrow) will likely grow with the experience and be better prepared when she's faced with something like this in the future.

@Mint Gosh, I'd forgotten about the cotton trees. We don't have them where I live, but DH and I used to drive to Indianapolis to visit his family for Race Weekend. That would be Memorial Day Weekend for regular folks and Decoration Day for my dear MIL whose vocabulary was from another lifetime. Driving through Ohio in late May was like being in a snow globe; the first time I saw it I was amazed.

HB

JeriLynn66

Decoration Day! I’ve already put new arrangements on all the graves we tend. It was also a day for “dinner on the ground” ( an outdoor potluck”. I miss that.

Lorita

Morning, pretty day coming up but in the low 90s. Not ready for that.

Put GL up and fed her. Still hurting. Not sure Flatly is going to do it. I had this happen in 2019 so will find that journal and see how it went that time.Also had it sometime before 2015 because Charles was here.

Last night when I was asleep I thought I heard my phone ring. Checked and no recent calls. Worried me about D. I didn't want to wake him in case he was sleeping so anxious to hear from him.

I guess I can have mom for breakfast, I'm hungry and my mouth tastes like a brass doorknob.

BethL

Memorial Day for us, when I was growing up, was about 2 things: decorating family graves and a horse show. I showed horses for several years growing up.

ronald71111

Just did video calls with both boys during one of Lou's brief half alert moments. I believe it's good for her to see and hear their voices.

Ron

Lorita

Pretty horses ,(think it's two). Bet you miss that.

Our Decoration Day was on Mother's Day. The older people would bring chairs and visit with old friends.

Called several times and no answer from Darwin. Changed out of robe and just opened the front door when my phonerang. It was him. Said he didn't sleep much last night. Donna is just now getting back to herself.

Still hurting off and on and that awful metallic taste is still there and will Be for a few days. I found the journals where I had this ,in 2014, and 2019, e very five years.Had toast and applesauce plus juice for breakfast. Not supposed to have caffeine so found some herbal peach tea which was good.I can have scrambled eggs- maybe tomorrow.

Ron, glad you and Lou got to talk to your kids.

Stormy is on his back kicking his legs up like he's riding a.bicycle Does that quite often. Sunny, windy and 86 right now. Girls went in the barn about 8:30 this morning. Good thing I went to the store yesterday. I'm hungry. Enjoy the rest of your dsy.