-
DW recently put in MC facility
My DW is 82 , and has middle stage Alzheimer's. After being a 24/7 caregiver for 2 years, I had to place her because I just couldn't do it anymore. She has been there for 3 months now. I visit her often, and she knows who I am and that we are married. However, she seems to be attracted to several men in the facility, and…
-
Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race
Sailing was what we did, always together, we started sailing joined our 1st Yacht Club in 1971. This is what I wrote on Boxing Day with a very sad heart. The Sydney Hobart Yacht Race All morning he’s said to me. What time is it on, I don’t want to miss it, I must put it on The cricket was going, the time ticked around,…
-
Short term memory and spouse
I am 56 and started having memory issues this year and seems more prevalent recently. I dont have a diagnosis yet and see the neurologist in Nov. A recent example is my wife and I went on a hot air balloon ride in Africa. 8 days later she told friends we took the balloon ride and I interrupted her and said no we didnt. I…
-
What to Do When My Grandmother Brings Up Her Dead Brother
Hello all. My grandmother has undiagnosed dementia (probably stage 4 or 5). She seems almost fine in the morning, but is a major sundowner and can't hold a conversation after about 6:30 PM. Her brother died in May, but I'm not sure if she remembers. Her long-term is usually fine, but she hasn't brought it up once since the…
-
How to handle angry people?
I am 74 and have been married for 52 years. I have been slowly declining since 2020. I was happy that I maintained an abiliity to craft a sentence. I have a husband, 74, and two sons, 50 and 48. THe 50 year old is very kind and generous. My husband keeps complaining because I talk too much. My 48 year old son thinks I am…
-
Did I Give Up Too Soon?
Following a violent outburst (mom attacked her in home caregiver) when she had a UTI, I made the difficult decision to place mom in MC. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. She is more lucid than the other residents in her MC, but 'loops' verbally a lot, and it is clear that there's significant decline within the past 3 months. I am…
-
New here
Good morning everyone. I finally took the step for myself. Talking to someone else about what is happening in my life right now and them knowing how I feel. It’s hard to tell someone who don’t know this disease to every understand. Hopefully I can remember this tool and utilize it. Well, my name is Mia. I been caring for…
-
My Dad has gotten aggressive and totally opposite of how he used to be
I know so many are dealing with this horrible disease and know it is a struggle!! I stay with my parents to help my mom with my Dad and she doesnt have the best health herself and I am also a single mom to a 10 yr old boy. I feel as if I am trying to carry the world on my shoulders as between work and taking care of…
-
Rapid Progressive Dementia/Covid19 Related
MY DW passed on 12/06. After a relatively short, but intensely difficult journey. We did not have a confirmed diagnosis, as the tests were all negative and normal for her age. Her health eas rest of a healthy 45 year old, had not had any hospitalizations, rarely sick with a cold. Sometimes allergies. P. She wa sky…
-
Defusing unkind behavior
My mom has Alzheimer’s my father is her caregiver. They live in DE, I am in NJ. For several months she’s been annoyed at my husband and i think it’s because she misses me. He is always kind to her and even physically helps her in person. Whatever the reason, she’s just not kind when I mention him. I try not to react to…
-
Having a baby in six weeks, dad is declining
I moved my dad into memory care a little over a year ago. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but he adjusted amazingly well. I moved him a few states away to be near me and I see him a few times a week. The MC he is in is really nice, the staff are amazing and I feel really lucky. But I don’t have any other local…
-
How to support my stepdad as primary caregiver
Hello. I am new to this platform. My mom is in Stage 6 of Alzheimer's. My stepdad is her primary caregiver. I can see that he is in over his head and is stressing out. But he is shutting out ideas for support, saying that he can't handle any more information. He is trying to do everything himself, and I can see the…
-
For Older Unmarried Couples, Caregiving Obligations Can Be Murky
Gifted link from the NYT. An article about caregiving issues specific to older unmarried couples. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/10/health/elderly-unmarried-couples-caregiving.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZE4.JvyT.QUUSabGS4hNM&smid=url-share
-
BIGGEST FEAR, DW MC and what about the whole SEX in MC with others?
Help me navigate the negative thoughts I am feeling. Let me start by stating. I am feeling a tremendous amount of grief. The person in my wife’s very fragile frail body is not the woman I married. I must now consider placement In a memory care home, but I cannot shake this. I have been taking care of her 24/7 now for over…
-
Parent with Early Onset Alzheimer's
Hi, I'm looking for a support group specifically for adult children of parents with early onset alzheimers. My mother is in her mid-60s and was diagnosed a couple years ago. As she is beginning to decline more and more I want to connect with others in a similar set of circumstances. Most people I speak with are dealing…
-
Parallel living
Not sure how else to describe this but DH constantly refers to our "Other house"? Which he says is identical to this one, but he wants to take his belongings there. I'm continually putting things in our car for the "morning" to be taken there. After he goes to bed I take them out of the car and put them away. Sometimes…
-
Difficult and lonely
I had a friend disable DH truck. He went berserk. He is still upset after 7 days of trying to get me to have it fixed. Now he is upset over some scam. All his cards are locked. Our retirement money was moved to a brokerage firm. Thank goodness. I took him to the bank to withdraw cash, he randomly walked into a bankers…
-
Challenges over Loss of Control
Good afternoon! I'm a brand-new poster and am an only child to my 79-year-old mom with VD. She's in memory care and has been in decline for years, with bigger deficits after stroke-type symptoms and multiple falls. Over the past year, she's become more paranoid and accusatory about my not visiting enough, the management of…
-
She is the Love of My Life, will she come back for a moment?
My DW, first showed signs of mild cog impairment during covid, July of 2020. Sill very mild what everyone thought was stress related. Then in 2/2022 we both were infected with a severe. Case of covid with brain fog, that I have been able to recover from. Not so luck has been my DW, although I have made many efforts since…
-
Support for the spouses or partners of dementia caregivers!
:/ Is there any information on support groups for the spouses or partners or the caregivers or info on what it can do to a relationship or marriage? Any information is greatly appreciated!
-
DH seems to hate me now
DH diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2020 still drives well and manages independently but lately he refuses to return from our mountain cabin or even see me because he says I’m too controlling. It doesn’t matter what I do or say; he finds everything controlling. He’s essentially run away from home (with the dog). Is this…
-
Memory Care or Keep trying at home
Is there some magic way to know when the time is right to have your loved one in a Memory Care Facility? A tipping point? I don't want to, for some reason. But I'm exhausted . I feel it would be more for me than him if he went there. Is that the right reason? He is still considered early stage. But the care needed is…
-
New to this forum. Diagnosed over 4 years ago
Not sure if this is the place to introduce myself; but I had Encephalitis twice - from West Nile Virus and Powassan Virus AND Lyme Disease 7 times. Dr. told me the viruses started this ball rolling. I was doing well, dealing with changes in my life, except not driving. I haven't accepted that well. I've been going between…
-
Mother-in-law with Alzheimer's diagnosis refusing treatment/diagnosis
Hi all, I am new to this forum. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's about nine months ago. Since then, it has been an uphill (upmountain?) battle. She has refused to accept the diagnosis and will not return to see her neurologist despite MRI and cognitive confirmation of the disease. She has…
-
From The NYT: The Ethicist- Spouse with Dementia
I have so many thoughts on this starting with "has this columnist ever lived with a PWD?" https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/magazine/husband-dementia-divorce-ethics.html?unlocked_article_code=1.z00.2GoA.8KLGpmxh2ufJ&smid=url-share
-
Navigating Family Dynamics: Post removed
Post removed
-
How do you process your thoughts, feelings, and slow burning grief?
Hi everyone. I’m new here. So glad I found this online community. The last three years have been super intense. From my mother getting diagnosed to losing her job to hiring at-home care, and the moving to assisted living in Jan 2023. This is a short summary, of course. But now she needs 24/7 supervision and it’s just SO…
-
Not Diagnosed yet
I have been left with the responsibility of caring solely for my grandmother who is showing very progressed signs of dementia. My issue is, how do I get her a diagnosis and help, if she refuses to go to the doctor and her son (who is states away) has POA over her and refuses to acknowledge there is a medical need? I am so…
-
Separating Parents in AL - How to handle the physical move itself?
Suggestions for Thursday's move? We have to: Tell our mother (stage 6a/6b with anosognosia) we have decided that she and Daddy need separate rooms in order to receive the care they each need Respond to her confusion, frustration, fear, and anger (her symptoms manifest with great anger) Support our dad (who already knows…