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Auto Response
I am a caregiver and I need some communication help. How do I respond to my client without making her feel like she doesn't remember. For example when she tells a story and she just told me I don't say anything about it. I usually ask the same questions or some what different to make her feel engaged. But what do I do if…
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Type of humor that works with PWD
Doctor gave me a handout on things that helps with brain health for PWD, and it included humor. I realize it depends on the person and stage, but I suspect that "juvenile" humor works with PWD, compared to clever things that may be hard to grasp. So this may include things like simple puns, knock knock jokes or even potty…
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Does speech therapy
I asked about occupational therapy, I should perhaps have asked about speech therapy. DH with ALZ most noticable problem is lost words.
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Out of ideas
My Mom has been in memory care almost a year now. It will be a year the first week of September. She was in AL at the same facility for about six weeks before they insisted she be moved to MC. She was wandering at night and anxious most of the time. Once in MC, there was a transition phase, but it didn't have anything to…
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Making prompting or cueing work
Prompting or cueing is defined as "Prompting refers to giving a verbal, physical, or gesture cue to indicate what the person with dementia is expected to do next". https://www.brookdale.com/en/brookdale-life/blogs/2021/use-the-prompting-technique-with-loved-ones-with-dementia.html I try to use that with a PWD when…
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Should he know he has Alzheimers?
My husband was in the doctor's office when we received the diagnosis over a year ago. Now he doesn't seem to remember that he has it. He's gone through several tests and it was confirmed. Last week he mentioned that Alzheimers must have skipped him (his mother, brother, aunt, and cousin had it). Should he be told again…
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How to redirect on a phone call
I posted this in general, but then saw the option for "long distance care", so reposted it here: My mom is in a memory care facility 3 hours away from me. Often, we have very pleasant conversations over the phone. Recently, she has been saying she is trying to call her mom/dad to pick her up and take her home (they have…
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A real conversation between MIL and DH
The movie Yours, Mine and Ours is blaring in the background. MIL is very hard of hearing so everything is always at 90% volume. ********** DH: I want you to try this cookie. It’s not too sweet. MIL: (suspiciously) What is it? DH: it’s a cookie. MIL: What? DH: A COO-KEY MIL: What’s a COO-KEY? DH: You know what a cookie is!…
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Therapeutic Lie #2
Hi everyone! This is kind of a continuation of my last post. I am trying to get my mom (60 with ALZ) in to an adult day care program, and it did not go well. Well, we didn't even get to the day care place. I took all of your guys' advice about saying it's a place where I volunteer at and have some friends I want her to…
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Separating Parents in AL - How to handle the physical move itself?
Suggestions for Thursday's move? We have to: Tell our mother (stage 6a/6b with anosognosia) we have decided that she and Daddy need separate rooms in order to receive the care they each need Respond to her confusion, frustration, fear, and anger (her symptoms manifest with great anger) Support our dad (who already knows…
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How to truly block spam phone calls
My father has dementia and is eager to talk to every telemarketer. This has the phone ringing dozens of times a day, with him wasting lots of time talking to people selling services he doesn't need. Worse, the caller is sometimes a scammer, and Dad is gullible enough that he's given away his credit card and other sensitive…
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DH is still very capable, but I am focusing on the diagnosis which frustrates him
My DH and I have been to a few doctor appointments and have been told he has some form of dementia. We're waiting on a couple more tests (hearing & sleep) before a follow-up appointment with the geriatric dementia specialist. DH says he just wants to live life and enjoy it as best he can. He admits he has memory issues -…
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What do I tell Mom when she asks to go home?
Hello, I'm new here, and new to caring for my Mother who is middle stage with dementia. Long story short, my Dad was her primary care give until he passed away suddenly about 2 months ago. He hid from the family his illness (cancer) and the extent of Mom's dementia. I live out of state, so that was pretty easy for him to…
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My mother keeps asking if her parents are alive
my mom, 75, is in the early stages of Alzheimers. She recently has been asking if her parents are alive (they both died over 25 years ago) and my dad told her that yes, they died a while ago. He didn't want to lie and didn't know what to do. My mother started crying that she didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her father…
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Mom is hitting; is it reasonable to expect an action plan?
I'm new here, struggling to find some info so any help is appreciated! - also, sorry for how long this is. Last fall, my sister and I convinced our dad to put Mom in memory care. She's advanced enough that she can't manage personal hygiene or communicate her needs effectively. Mom has this fun thing where she often has…
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Virtual Reality Experience
has anyone had any positive experiences using VR headsets with their loved ones?
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Sex is not my friend
DH has been quiet about this for several months now. All of the sudden now he wants it again (he also has ED and things were not going well before). He grabbed a beer when we got home from church and then wanted to get all frisky. Unfortunately, I made the remark that he looked like he was more worried about getting a beer…
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Unsure about my diagnosis
I had a brain scan that showed my hippocampus is at 5%, but no tau tangles so it’s not Alz. My speech is slower then it was, I forget things all the time, I have trouble with thinking things through. My emotions are ridiculous. How long before I’m lost?
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Develop a live support group for people living with dementia
I live in senior housing and have discovered that many folks here, like myself, are victims of early or moderate-stage dementia. Many don’t have relatives, so we are our only support. Does anyone have a manual on developing a live support group for people with dementia, or do you know of one? There are groups in this area…
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"lost in current time"?
Tam Cummings lists this as a late stage 5 characteristic. But I’m not quite sure what it means? Also, recently I’ve noticed that when MIL refers to “my family”, she always means her nuclear family as a child. Is this just an indication of her older memories being stronger than more recent memories? We had a recent…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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Sadness for my MIL
It’s been an emotionally tough day. Nothing out of the ordinary but it’s been close to two years MIL has lived with us. And I was particularly tired of not having any time alone; cooking, cleaning, entertaining and listening to her talk, talk, talk. But as I was sitting here mentally listing the 101 things I have to do…
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Early Stages: assessment, support, education
Hello, I am in the early stages of needing to get my LO a neurological assessment and get educated as their child on the best ways to support them moving forward. It's hard to know if they are in early stages or if aging and isolation and depression are the culprits. (want to acknowledge that i know they will exacerbate…
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Diagnosis needed ASAP
My dad is showing signs of dementia. He forgets things so quickly. He’s very short-tempered. This has been going on for years. He’s in denial. His mom passed away in 2011. She suffered from Alzheimer’s. How do I go about getting him some help? Do I reach out to his doctor?
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Memory care transition and selling the house
Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum and I am finding it so so helpful. My dad was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2021 and it has gotten progressively worse. His new diagnosis is VD. He is 76 and in very good physical health. My mom passed in 2020 after an extended health struggle, and my brother moved in and…
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How do I answer the question, "Why can't I remember?"
I have been a caregiver to a lovely woman in MS of Alzheimer's since April 2023. One thing she's been doing more of here lately is asking me why she can't remember things. For example, just today, she was talking about her father and how she wasn't sure whether or not he was still alive. When I confirmed her suspicions of…
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How Much to Tell
I am an 82 yo caregiver for my 84 yo DH who was diagnosed with dementia by a neurologist in 2023 and I estimate is now in stage 5. He was just diagnosed yesterday with pulmonary fibrosis, but seems already to have forgotten most if not all of the doctor's visit. The mean survival time for this is 2-3 years, and DH also has…
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Dealing with nonstop silliness
My DH has moderate to severe dementia. A few days ago he started speaking fluently in gibberish and he has kept at it for several days. He uses very little normal language and spends his waking hours with nonsense words and rhyme. It was kind of humorous at first and now it has become somewhere between annoying and…