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Moving home
So, I’m moving back home to help out. I’m an only child and my dad is having trouble taking care of my mom on his own. She fell at the beginning of this year and broke her foot and her shoulder. I ended up taking FMLA to help through her healing. I’m hoping that moving home will help me feel less exhausted. I went back to…
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On the advice of my therapist
I have a habit of minimizing or stuffing down feelings and emotions. My therapist has given me the assignment of telling someone about something I am struggling with. Not to look for a solution but as a way to validate the experience. And so… I have a great deal of resentment and a feeling of loss of self. DH was diagnosed…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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Develop a live support group for people living with dementia
I live in senior housing and have discovered that many folks here, like myself, are victims of early or moderate-stage dementia. Many don’t have relatives, so we are our only support. Does anyone have a manual on developing a live support group for people with dementia, or do you know of one? There are groups in this area…
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Mental Health Care
Hello everybody! I am currently looking for some mental health care options for myself (CG) and my mama (LO), but I am having a difficult time finding therapists/psychiatrists that have experience treating those with dementia/caregivers for LO with dementia. Every one that I've been in contact with either does have…
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My Mental Health
Hello, my mom is in the final stages of Alzheimer's. I still go see her at the NH and it still is so painful to see such a vibrant woman deteriorate for the past 7 years. I don't know if she knows who I am or who she is at times I say to my self "why go"? It's good when I see her and she is still in bed, her hair is not…
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Caregiving Burnout
Hello everyone. I’m new here. I could really use some advice. Can anyone recommend someone to talk to about how to handle severe dementia and sundowners? I’m single and live with my parents…only one is suffering from dementia. But it just feels like everything is in my shoulders. Clean the house. Do the laundry. Take care…
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Incontenence
My 96 year old father refuses to wear pull-ups but he can't make it to the bathroom fast enough with his walker. He wets himself all day. And he makes a mess when using the bathroom for #2. Also, he refuses to bathe or let anyone wash him. He's very defiant. We were thinking of giving him an anxiety medication to help him…
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respite discussion with my spouse
I am going on a 8 day trip out of the country and want to have a positive conversation with my dementia spouse. Because he gets frightened at the thought of my leaving, and because he does not have a sense of time, I've decided to let him know about 4 days before I leave. What positive experiences/advise can you give me to…
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I’m. Just. So. Damn. Tired.
I have been caring for my mother who has been declining with grace for years. Now, at 92, she is very frail, and often doesn’t remember how to stand or sit. She can communicate sometimes. She can feed herself but eats little. Lately, she has been getting up without assistance and has fallen. Now I sleep with her to keep…
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Newbie here.....how to cope with my dad
My dad, unoffically, has alzheimers. He does not want to be tested. I am 52. He is 88. My mom passed 6 years so just him and I. He lives with me. I have my own business and work lots of hours. He has a part time care giver just so she can take him to doctor appts and get him out of the house for a meal. My entire life…
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LO Actively Refuses to Socialize
Hi everyone! I hope you all had very happy holidays, and a happy new year! My mama (diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's) has always been a social butterfly. However, due to Covid-19 and her diagnosis, has become quite sheltered. I've been told multiple times how socializing is key for a person with Alzheimer's/Dementia…
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You might be a fulltime caregiver if...
I am trying to find humor anywhere I can. Yesterday I was standing in a short line at the bank and it occurred to me how nice it was to just stand there quietly without (really) worrying about my LO for a few minutes. it occurred to me that we full-time caregivers have a slightly different view of our "free time": Standing…
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New & desperate in need of advice
Hi, I’m new here & after scrolling through some of the posts and comments here I’ve got to say I feel so much better to know I’m not alone! I can relate to feeling resentful, frustrated, overwhelmed and all of the many (MANY) emotions that come along with caring for PWD. My mom does not have an official diagnosis but many…
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Caregiver Burnout Direct Link to Injuries
I've posted about burnout, needing a break, etc. but never thought this would happen. On 11/6 while clearing leaves, mulching I tried to clear leaves from the mower's shoot and partially amputated 2 fingers on my dominant hand. Surgery on 11/10...left me in pain, unable to use one hand, completely care for myself never…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 10/14/23
Hoping all my friends here are strong in the Holy Spirit. Hugs to all, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) FORGET THE PAST & PRESS ON Philippians 3:12-14 New Living Translation “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection…
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Caring for Yourself
This is for anyone who is in the condition of doing more for others than you are doing for yourself. The following is a paraphrased summary of a message sent to me. Hope it helps. There is and will always be unmet needs and no matter how many hours you work, how strong/gifted/smart you are you will never be able to handle…
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Newly Diagnosed Mom
Hello, My mother was recently diagnosed with moderate dementia. It seems to have accelerated once she moved into AL, which was her decision. She is well cared for however is requesting that my brother and I call her multiple times a day. Any tips for setting reasonable boundaries while at the same time helping her as much…
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How to Deal With Angry Ex Spouse
My daughter and I are Co-Conservators for her Father (my ex-spouse). He has always had an angry and resentful attitude. He now has mid-level Alzheimers but denies it. He blames us for "putting him in prison" (assisted living). She lives in another state, and I am his only local contact. How can we best deal with his…
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Self-care and decompressing after a day of caregiving
Caregiving for PWD can be like walking on eggshells, as many of you know. Sometimes, late evening is the only time to decompress. I want to share some things that helps keep my mind off of things. If worrying or other things create anxiety and prevents a good night's sleep, it's not good. I realize that everyone's…
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First Post (Mom's Caregiver) - It's a long one but please read if you can
This is my first post so it's going to be lengthy and I apologize in advance. I don't know why tonight I got to the point that I felt the need to reach out but here we are. I am my mom's caregiver and it's just hard. I'm a 45 year old female, married to my husband of 21 years and we do no have children. I'm one of those…
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Resources for scheduling respite
Hello! I am new to this group but look forward to getting to know you all! I personally feel that one of the hardest parts of caregiving is making/finding time for respite. Does anyone have any suggestions for resources they like to use to schedule respite?
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Strong maternal genetics to Alzheimer’s
I am 29 and recently lost my mom to Alzheimer’s. She had early onset around 50-52yo. I was the one who got her diagnosed but was not around for the worst/later stages. She didn’t make it to 60yo. As a baby, I remember my maternal great grandmother had late onset Alzheimer’s as well. And within the past couple years my…
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Conflicted In Feelings
I love my mom dearly. I find it an honor to take care of her as she moves into the mid-stages of Vascular Dementia. But lately, when her mood shifts, and she is very much out of character I find myself screaming inside "Who are you!" In those moments I try to shift the mood and put on light music - she was a classical…
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Helpless & Angry about husband's loss
Hi folks, Im just in the beginning of this challenging journey, so please indulge me as i come to you for help. Im vey overwhelmed, so hope this makes sense to you. My 86 yo mom, the most important person in the world to me, has mild - mod dementia and is currently in a rehab place following a hospitalization. That's is…
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The meaning of "Taking care of yourself"
I see a lot of messages about taking care of yourself, and I think I have a better understanding now. It's not just being selfish, but also to help yourself so you can continue being a caregiver, especially if you are a sole caregiver. Many people say not getting enough sleep is very important, but here are a few things…
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It’s lonely on the other side
My mom died a few months ago. It was so shocking. Even knowing ALZ is a leading cause of death, I didn’t really get that it would kill her, especially because she was otherwise in good health and still had abilities I assumed she would lose first (walking, talking, recognizing loved ones). But she fell and never walked…
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MC for my mom soon. Anticipating the guilt, worry, fears, & overwhelm will increase.
Haven't posted or read for a while. No excuses, but a lot of reasons. Honestly, life has just gotten really hard. My mom ( early - mod dementia) will likely be moving to MC soon and i need to share my fears. (She is in rehab community now.) Ive been told that it's the right move, AND that the responsibilities, feelings of…