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Newbie here.....how to cope with my dad
My dad, unoffically, has alzheimers. He does not want to be tested. I am 52. He is 88. My mom passed 6 years so just him and I. He lives with me. I have my own business and work lots of hours. He has a part time care giver just so she can take him to doctor appts and get him out of the house for a meal. My entire life…
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LO Actively Refuses to Socialize
Hi everyone! I hope you all had very happy holidays, and a happy new year! My mama (diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's) has always been a social butterfly. However, due to Covid-19 and her diagnosis, has become quite sheltered. I've been told multiple times how socializing is key for a person with Alzheimer's/Dementia…
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Feeling Conflicted and Guilty about moving on…
My wife is in the mid to later stages of AZ and is struggling to communicate, she sits quietly most of the time. In addition to AZ she has a genetic eye defect that is incurable, she is legally blind and needs help with everything. I am her caregiver and have given up most of my exercise and outdoor activities to support…
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You might be a fulltime caregiver if...
I am trying to find humor anywhere I can. Yesterday I was standing in a short line at the bank and it occurred to me how nice it was to just stand there quietly without (really) worrying about my LO for a few minutes. it occurred to me that we full-time caregivers have a slightly different view of our "free time": Standing…
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New & desperate in need of advice
Hi, I’m new here & after scrolling through some of the posts and comments here I’ve got to say I feel so much better to know I’m not alone! I can relate to feeling resentful, frustrated, overwhelmed and all of the many (MANY) emotions that come along with caring for PWD. My mom does not have an official diagnosis but many…
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Caregiver Burnout Direct Link to Injuries
I've posted about burnout, needing a break, etc. but never thought this would happen. On 11/6 while clearing leaves, mulching I tried to clear leaves from the mower's shoot and partially amputated 2 fingers on my dominant hand. Surgery on 11/10...left me in pain, unable to use one hand, completely care for myself never…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 10/14/23
Hoping all my friends here are strong in the Holy Spirit. Hugs to all, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) FORGET THE PAST & PRESS ON Philippians 3:12-14 New Living Translation “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection…
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Caring for Yourself
This is for anyone who is in the condition of doing more for others than you are doing for yourself. The following is a paraphrased summary of a message sent to me. Hope it helps. There is and will always be unmet needs and no matter how many hours you work, how strong/gifted/smart you are you will never be able to handle…
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Newly Diagnosed Mom
Hello, My mother was recently diagnosed with moderate dementia. It seems to have accelerated once she moved into AL, which was her decision. She is well cared for however is requesting that my brother and I call her multiple times a day. Any tips for setting reasonable boundaries while at the same time helping her as much…
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How to Deal With Angry Ex Spouse
My daughter and I are Co-Conservators for her Father (my ex-spouse). He has always had an angry and resentful attitude. He now has mid-level Alzheimers but denies it. He blames us for "putting him in prison" (assisted living). She lives in another state, and I am his only local contact. How can we best deal with his…
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Self-care and decompressing after a day of caregiving
Caregiving for PWD can be like walking on eggshells, as many of you know. Sometimes, late evening is the only time to decompress. I want to share some things that helps keep my mind off of things. If worrying or other things create anxiety and prevents a good night's sleep, it's not good. I realize that everyone's…
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First Post (Mom's Caregiver) - It's a long one but please read if you can
This is my first post so it's going to be lengthy and I apologize in advance. I don't know why tonight I got to the point that I felt the need to reach out but here we are. I am my mom's caregiver and it's just hard. I'm a 45 year old female, married to my husband of 21 years and we do no have children. I'm one of those…
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Resources for scheduling respite
Hello! I am new to this group but look forward to getting to know you all! I personally feel that one of the hardest parts of caregiving is making/finding time for respite. Does anyone have any suggestions for resources they like to use to schedule respite?
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Strong maternal genetics to Alzheimer’s
I am 29 and recently lost my mom to Alzheimer’s. She had early onset around 50-52yo. I was the one who got her diagnosed but was not around for the worst/later stages. She didn’t make it to 60yo. As a baby, I remember my maternal great grandmother had late onset Alzheimer’s as well. And within the past couple years my…
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Conflicted In Feelings
I love my mom dearly. I find it an honor to take care of her as she moves into the mid-stages of Vascular Dementia. But lately, when her mood shifts, and she is very much out of character I find myself screaming inside "Who are you!" In those moments I try to shift the mood and put on light music - she was a classical…
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Helpless & Angry about husband's loss
Hi folks, Im just in the beginning of this challenging journey, so please indulge me as i come to you for help. Im vey overwhelmed, so hope this makes sense to you. My 86 yo mom, the most important person in the world to me, has mild - mod dementia and is currently in a rehab place following a hospitalization. That's is…
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The meaning of "Taking care of yourself"
I see a lot of messages about taking care of yourself, and I think I have a better understanding now. It's not just being selfish, but also to help yourself so you can continue being a caregiver, especially if you are a sole caregiver. Many people say not getting enough sleep is very important, but here are a few things…
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It’s lonely on the other side
My mom died a few months ago. It was so shocking. Even knowing ALZ is a leading cause of death, I didn’t really get that it would kill her, especially because she was otherwise in good health and still had abilities I assumed she would lose first (walking, talking, recognizing loved ones). But she fell and never walked…
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MC for my mom soon. Anticipating the guilt, worry, fears, & overwhelm will increase.
Haven't posted or read for a while. No excuses, but a lot of reasons. Honestly, life has just gotten really hard. My mom ( early - mod dementia) will likely be moving to MC soon and i need to share my fears. (She is in rehab community now.) Ive been told that it's the right move, AND that the responsibilities, feelings of…
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caregiver needs
After six plus years of caregiving, my DW public behavior changed to the point that I sought counseling to emotionally handle these changes. The counselor asked me what things I did just for me. I believe that he suspects that everything I do is related to my wife and the disease. He suggested that I contact my support…
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Another Shoe Dropped - May need to start working in the office
Hello Again. Thanks to everyone who offered support and assistance on my recent transportation conundrum. Today, another shoe dropped as we were informed that, starting in September, anyone living within 50 miles of one of our corporate offices must start working in the office 3 days/week. This is after being told many…
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Balancing Act
90 year-old mom's in SNF for short-term while I am on medical leave. Her glucose levels are always elevated when she goes to SNF (the cons of the stay) and it's a long road back to decrease her #s when she comes home. She's been there since 4/8 and I learned yesterday her #s are very high, so I sent the doctor and director…
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My Dad
My dad of 90 has dementia and is getting worse very quickly, he’s aggressive and short temperedTwo days ago he went into hospital for edema and now his care home won’t take him back so he has to stay in hospital until we find him a place. how do you all cope with the verbal abuse and threatening to punch your face when all…
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Mom with Mid-stage AD, dad running on empty - Is this our future?
I have been on this site for a few years. I started visiting as I realized mom has AD, and dad will not admit it. They refuse to get tested. I needed to know what to do with this new dynamic, and how to care give to parents who will not acknowledge any decline. Dad handles every aspect of their lives. Mom is 85 and dad is…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 4/15/23
TOO WONDERFUL FOR ME * Job 42:1-3 New Living Translation Job Responds to the Lord 42 Then Job replied to the Lord: 2 “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too…