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How do I best help Mom, the caregiver?
Hello~ first post. My parents both turned 80 and Dad was officially diagnosed with stage 5 Alzheimer’s dementia the same week. His progression through early stages was very slow~ we’ve noticed little things for seven or so years~ but he had COVID in January, and the big slide began… I live 90 minutes away from them with my…
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Life update on mama (60) and me (25)
Hi everyone! I realized it’s been 4 months since I last posted in here, after receiving so much love and support for my last post where I was just venting all my thoughts and feelings. My mom is doing really well, she’s about to be 60! And in a few months my spouse and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, so…
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New fast progressing signs of Dementia
Hi new here and in search of helpful feedback. My 85 year old dad has not been officially diagnosed with dementia yet but his pcp and er doctors all agree that he is showing all signs of being that. His behavior has changed so rapidly. He started with spying on all of us, my mom, my boyfriend and myself. We thought it was…
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Resisting Move to Assisted Living
Dad has Alzheimers and Mom is wheelchair bound. They currently have 8x5 home care. It's becoming harder Dad to care for Mom when home care is not there. However, Dad doesn't realize this and thinks he's doing a "good job" taking care of her. Gets very defensive. Took them on tours of AL yesterday. Mom is willing to move,…
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Wife refuses medical help
After 3-4 years of increasing memory loss, Finlay was able to get DW to her PCP (prescribed sertraline for anxiety) and neurophysiological testing. Diagnosed with presumptive AD but she is in denial and refuses further follow up. Related: about 12 months ago she began to not recognize me. Not sure what to do
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Family Giving Me Conflicting Advice
Hi everyone! I (25) am the main caretaker for my mother (59) who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. Recently we've noticed some progression, she recently forgot my name for the first time so it's kicked my brain in to focusing on things like a will and POA. I was talking to my aunt the other night asking her…
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Online counseling for caregiver support and those dealing with a hoarder?
Hi all, new to the forum and appreciate that its here. Does anyone know of an online counselor for caregiver of family support - especially those dealing with lifelong hoarders? I prefer online/virtual sessions and timezone is not a concern. My Mom (72) has Alzheimers and I am her POA, Guardian and Trustee. She is highly…
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Refusing/protesting care from family members: what now?
I have been having more and more trouble with DH and anger and agitation. Yesterday he had a "meltdown" involving throwing objects around the room. It was awful for me. I was both frightened and angry myself. He's also had an episode where he turned something on (the self-clean feature, I think) on the range and called me…
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Mental Health Care
Hello everybody! I am currently looking for some mental health care options for myself (CG) and my mama (LO), but I am having a difficult time finding therapists/psychiatrists that have experience treating those with dementia/caregivers for LO with dementia. Every one that I've been in contact with either does have…
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desperate to help uncooperative mom
My mom is living in a different state alone. Over the past year she has let her life and responsibilities unravel. She has harrassed the banks to where they close her account, forgets to pay bills and now is delusional and hallucinates about a man living in her apartment. She calls the police over and over. I called…
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Troubles sleeping
My mom hasn't been sleeping properly ever since her surgery near the end of December. The first few days of the first week of her recovery I understood. She was taking meds that made her drowsy at times so naturally her sleep patterns are going to get screwy. However, she stopped those meds 3 days in. She leveled out the…
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Mom doesn't want to be cared for
Hi, My name is Stephanie and live near Albuquerque, NM. I'm new to this forum and dealing with dementia in general. I recently brought my 81-year-old German mom to the US as she cannot care for herself anymore (middle? stage of Alzheimer/Dementia). Back in Germany, she was hospitalized twice in Aug and Oct 23 and the…
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Safety when cooking
My 76 yr. old DH is becoming more and more forgetful. He has several of the symptoms of cognitive impairment. He hasn't been tested or diagnosed yet but agreed to have me attend his next medical appt. in February. I've told him I'm noticing more instances of forgetfulness, which he'll accept for the moment, but doesn't…
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Venting
It's been 4 months since my mom moved here to my neck of the woods. She moved away from her home of 40 years, her things, her friends, the sunshine, warmth and the ocean. She was worried that when the time came, when dementia was in full swing and she was stuck in SC, she would be all alone. Yet, she's so very unhappy…
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Surgery and possible progression
I already suspected that my mom was progressing from mild to moderate, but after a surgery, things have become even more noticeable, but it's also unknown whether the surgery was a factor. But now I'm also worried she might be going even further than moderate. Her sleeping got a little screwed up due to meds making her…
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A rock and a hard place with in-laws
Good morning everyone. We have felt so lucky to have found this site and this group of support. My wife and I have been together almost 22 years and I have been part of her family for the same amount of time. After losing my own father to cancer just less than 2 years into our relationship, her parents have always been…
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Seeking some solace and advice
Hello, my sister and I are in the proverbial weeds with our 79 year old Mom who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She has been showing signs of short term memory loss for the last few years and this past 6 months it has noticeably deteriorated. We have been at the mercy of a very slow diagnosis but finally had…
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New Here & Need to vent - Mom has Alzheimer's and Dad is stubborn...
Hi Everyone - I am so happy to find this community as I am definitely struggling with many things! I mostly just need to share and vent and I appreciate the space to do so. Here goes. My parents (married 60 years) live together in a 55+ community (independent - no outside help except family) about 30 minutes from me. My…
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Mom Was Served
Good evening/morning/afternoon everyone! Yesterday was kind of a shock and I'm looking for some guidance. My mother got served court papers for a dental procedure she had never paid for. Long story short about 5 years ago she was told prior to the procedure that it would be covered by insurance, however once the procedure…
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How to communicate with a parent in denial
Hello! Rather abruptly it has become clear my mom will need to be in MC for at least the immediate short term, or even longer. She had an episode of delirium after attempting to travel solo to a family member, and while she has largely recovered, her baseline is way worse than before this episode. She was released from the…
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Won’t Go to the Dr./won’t get an assessment
I am curious what ideas people have for facilitating an assessment for someone who probably understands that something is going on, but refuses to go to the doctor, and likely doesn’t want to do that because she is aware an assessment would happen. (the phrase - “you are trying to commit me has come up quite a bit…
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How to Start Part Time Help
Hello, My mother has (undiagnosed) Alzheimers and lives at home with my father. I live about 4 hours away and visit once a month, but my father has been dealing with the day today and it's beginning to be too much for one person. We think it's time to hire a part time companion/health aid. The problem is how to present…
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I have just joined today!
Hi everyone, My name is Barbara, and my husband was diagnosed with ALZ 6 years ago. He is 74 years old, I am 72 years old, and we have been married for 52 years. I met him when I was 14 yrs old. One of the main reasons our marriage has lasted so long is her is the funniest person I've ever met. He's also very stubborn and…
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Making changes to routines better sooner than later
I read in the forum that it's better to make some changes sooner than later, since a PWD can still adjust to it. Examples: use of a bidet, use of safety equipment, senior's telephone. Thus learn to use those before you're unable to learn. I was under the impression that a PWD can only/mostly recall things from many years…
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Mother in law- and supporting my husband and brothers to best support her
My MIL recently moved close to us from our of state. Since she has been closer we see increased memory impairment and getting lost while driving. I would like to chalk up some of it to learning a new area, however a few weeks ago she came into a restaurant disorientated and confused and the waitress called for a welfare…
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How to Deal With Angry Ex Spouse
My daughter and I are Co-Conservators for her Father (my ex-spouse). He has always had an angry and resentful attitude. He now has mid-level Alzheimers but denies it. He blames us for "putting him in prison" (assisted living). She lives in another state, and I am his only local contact. How can we best deal with his…
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What preferred solutions do you rely on to care for AD, early to late stage?
Hi everyone, I am on the younger end of the spectrum but my grandma passed last year from AD and my mother (70) is starting to have some cognitive troubles (forgetting, stopping mid-sentence). I want to do everything I can to help her and have recently moved back home with her and have put her on a regimen. I was wondering…
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Managing Paranoia from LO
Hi all, I'm new here and just needing support. My step-dad started experiencing some memory loss a few years ago. Things like forgetting details of conversations or that the conversations even took place, forgetting the words for things, or needing to hear things repeated. He had pretty good self-awareness about it too. We…
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Caregiving & College?
Hi everyone! I’m a new poster but long time lurker. I haven’t seen any threads on this topic so I thought I’d ask. I’ve been caregiving for more than a year for my grandma with dementia (taking shifts almost with another relative). I started caregiving when I was around 18 or 19 and I had to drop out of college, there was…
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Memory Care Discussion - Financial Exploitation
Looking for suggestions on how to encourage a family member to go into a memory care facility. Although she is very good with her activities of daily living, she has been exploited financially by someone posing as her best friend. I think we now have that situation under control, however, we feel she can no longer live…