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Memory Care transition
Well it has been 2.5 weeks since my DH has been in memory care. Prior to this, he spent 3.5 weeks in the hospital. The first couple of days he was there, I literally slept like a log. My bed didn't even look like i had moved a muscle. But as the days wear on I'm finding my big old house so quiet. It's sad. The facility is…
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1st night in MC tonight!
The move went well from her AL which was 20 minutes away to MC only 6 minutes from me. She seemed okay. Until I had to leave and she realized I was leaving. Rookie mistake - she has her cell phone. Right after I got home the director called me to inform me that everything is ok and it’s normal but she is upset that my…
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Painful Delusions
For about 7-8 years my step dad and I were the main caregivers (we luckily eventually had in home care almost 24/7, but we still managed a lot) for my grandma with dementia, my mom completely checked out and couldn’t face it. It’s been about 8 years since my grandma passed and now my mom is showing signs. We are still…
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Recent Diagnosis
I was just diagnosed yesterday with early stage Alzheimer’s. I am overwhelmed with fear. I go from being hopeful to having very little hope at all. I’m afraid of who I will become and what my illness will do to my partner. I came here for emotional support and guidance regarding how to move forward.
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High Anxiety / Anger Issues
I am trying to help my 81 year old father who is my mothers primary caregiver. They still live in the house they raised 3 boys in for the last 56 years. I work two jobs one of which is caregiving for seniors in the evenings and weekends. I am the only one able to help my father as my younger brother has passed and my older…
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The Fall
Probably the worst situation possible…91 year old with Alzheimer's now with a broken femur… http://simplebender.com/2024/08/17/joy-in-alzheimers-episode-47-the-fall/
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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Medication Help
A few years ago before my mom had a confirmed diagnosis of ALZ, she was started on Lexapro 20mg, then namenda and aricept. She’s been in AL for 3 months. Geriatric Psych at the facility added on Wellbutrin 8 weeks ago bc of depression/apathy. 2 weeks ago she started Xanax .25mg 3/day bc of her aggression/anxiety. She…
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Medication Difficulties
Hello everyone. I can’t say I’m very new here, but this is my first post. I’ve been (what my husband would say is “lurking”) in the background - reading and learning from all of you who have travelled this path before me. Thank you so much for your comments and candor, it’s already made my life better by knowing you’re…
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Personal Stigma
Why is the stigma associated with mental health, dementia, Alz, etc. so pervasive? It affects all of us, even those afflicted……
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Obsessions
Hey dear people, again, new to this and can't imagine this journey that I'm on and how long it will last without losing my mind... I'm not being disrespectful, it's just where else can I voice my frustrations and worries~ so my DH seems to find a topic (finances, an old worry, etc.) and fret for hours on end, going into…
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Early onset: navigating caregiving AND parenting simultaneously
Lately, I've been feeling more ready to wander around these forums and read about the struggles and heartbreaks of other caregivers. We are fairly new to this reality and I'm finding acceptance of our circumstances little by little. I recently found the Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT) and it's given me such a…
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Mother not cooperating with maid
My mother ,aged 66,is not able to go to washroom by herself We have maid,who helps her, recently she is not cooperating with her as well. Other than my sister,she does not allow anyone else to be with her. Need suggestions....to deal with mother Also,she is hallucinating....she looks at herself in mirror and gets hyper...…
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Grieving and Planning
Hello All- My first post ever. I am 40 years old and moved in to help my father 78 who was diagnosed with alz in 2020-- but had been declining for over a decade. He has really progressed and is incontinent, very weak, and disoriented. He recently had a fall in the shower and we had to call 911 for a lift assist-- it was…
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Therapeutic Lie
Hi everybody! I was looking for some advice on how to explain to my mom (60 with ALZ) the idea of starting to go to an adult day care program. There’s this wonderful program that’s 5 minutes away from us, in a senior center that my mom is familiar with already because her mom used to go there. I’be recently heard the term…
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I'm so tired.
My great grandma recently moved in with me. I knew there would be an adjustment period, but months later the behavior is only getting worse. She doesn't ever sleep a full night and is just never happy. She is 94 and acts like the biggest diva. Almost like the entire would should be ready to serve her and nothing is ever…
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Mom is hitting; is it reasonable to expect an action plan?
I'm new here, struggling to find some info so any help is appreciated! - also, sorry for how long this is. Last fall, my sister and I convinced our dad to put Mom in memory care. She's advanced enough that she can't manage personal hygiene or communicate her needs effectively. Mom has this fun thing where she often has…
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Never Dealt With Alzheimer's Before and Need Some Guidance
Hello. I have never been close to someone who had Alzheimer's before (I'm 54) and I need some guidance, please. My father (Jamie) passed away in 1988 at age 50 from brain cancer. His best friend, Charlie, has been close to me ever since. He gave me away at our wedding. He's now 87 and has been in good health his entire…
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Unsure about my diagnosis
I had a brain scan that showed my hippocampus is at 5%, but no tau tangles so it’s not Alz. My speech is slower then it was, I forget things all the time, I have trouble with thinking things through. My emotions are ridiculous. How long before I’m lost?
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New fast progressing signs of Dementia
Hi new here and in search of helpful feedback. My 85 year old dad has not been officially diagnosed with dementia yet but his pcp and er doctors all agree that he is showing all signs of being that. His behavior has changed so rapidly. He started with spying on all of us, my mom, my boyfriend and myself. We thought it was…
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New paranoia- Passenger Seat
It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…
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Need advice--meds, good days, bad days, anticipatory grief
Hi, this is long but I don't know that it can be abbreviated. My mom is 86 and has been having symptoms of dementia for the past couple years. I don't know which kind she has because she has not been formally diagnosed by a neurologist. I suspect it is lewy body. Anyway, it has gotten really bad last November after having…
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Fed up from the life.
Previously i posted about me feeling that i am forgetting things and losing my memory. I don't remember any happy memories seems they are somewhere in the dark and as much as i know I had many happy memories with kids, family and with the person I love. I am in love with a person, i am going through many things, having…
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Feeling Attacked by Well-Meaning Friends
My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost a year ago now. She lived alone and was really not doing well and she lived 100+ miles away from me. I took some advice and found a really nice MC facility and (thank goodness) put a deposit down. I dreaded the thought of driving my Mom 100 miles to the MC I had reserved for…
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Trust is gone..
I'm just kind of thinking about our relationship because it's Valentine's Day. After his outbursts of screaming and throwing objects last week, as well as telling me he's going to "leave me" I'm not sure what to believe. This week is a whole different ball game with multiple requests that I forgive him. I do forgive him…
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Calming meds for anxiety?
Hi, when music, diversion, soft textures, fresh air•••golf kart ride etc won't comfort Mom's agitation, sundowners type intense anxiety. Are there any prescribed medications that work well in anyone out there's situations Thank you
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Incontenence
My 96 year old father refuses to wear pull-ups but he can't make it to the bathroom fast enough with his walker. He wets himself all day. And he makes a mess when using the bathroom for #2. Also, he refuses to bathe or let anyone wash him. He's very defiant. We were thinking of giving him an anxiety medication to help him…
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Support & Advice
Hi. My name is Kate & I am new to the forum. My mom has been living in a memory care facility for a little over two years now just a few months after my dad died abruptly. The last two years have not been the easiest with losing a parent & losing a parent to dementia. My siblings and I relationship has been estranged since…