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New here, looking for support
My mom has been on a steady cognitive decline over the past 2 years after a big fall and some medications she was placed on. We have not been given the diagnosis of Dementia due to the fact that she will not get tested and gets extremely angry when it is suggested. (She has always had anger issues and does not let anyone…
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Drastic Change in Posture
Hi all! My mom is 70 and I am her 27 yo daughter/caregiver. Over the summer we placed her in a memory care unit due to her FTD getting worse. Last month, within a week her posture drastically changed. She is hunched over and she is unable to move her head up (her chin is touching her chest). She was just evaluated by a…
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Mom thinks we live in an identical home across town
Mom (MIL) was diagnosed with dementia, most likely Alzheimer's, last November. My husband and I moved in with her about 2 months ago. Dad passed away last June. A number of months ago Mom would tell us about Dad working on a house across town that was identical in every way, inside and out, to her house. She marveled at it…
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Destroying Things
I care for my mother-in-law and she spends a lot of time destroying things. Tearing things apart (especially anything made of paper or cardboard) and writing on things (marble coasters, artwork, kitchen tools, anything), cutting things up (the corners of furniture). I have no idea what to do. I don’t give her a hard time…
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Not blame PWD, but blame myself for frustration
I'm sure most of you have figured this out, but it was so easy to blame the PWD for behavior. I would get frustrated and say (often to myself) "Why did you mix the salt with the sugar?" or "Why did you unplug the charger?" I realize that I would never think that way if a young child (or even a cat for that matter!) behaves…
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Lists
So yesterday I started a new job that is 100% work from home. I was so glad to get it so I can be home with mom during the day. Mom's doing so much better after this summer's problems due to her breaking her shoulder. She's nearly finished physical therapy. My question has to do with lists. Mom does pretty well when she…
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Caregiver Patience
I am caring for my husband who was recently diagnosed with moderate late onset Alzheimers. Not sure what that means as far as stages but recently it has become more difficult dealing with the various mood swings. He was fine most of the day and all of a sudden in the late afternoon he stopped talking to me. This happened a…
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Sister Refusing to Get Ready This Morning
This morning, my sister was having difficulty with the buttons on her pj top. She has gained some weight so the top buttons pop open. We need to buy her some different PJs without buttons. She & I are the only ones in the house so it rarely bothers her that she goes to the bathroom with some buttons undone. In the…
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Caring for LO when they're sick
Hi everyone, I've been absent for a bit -- we hit a semi-stable routine while we wait for our appointments with the new physician's group that was recommended to us. This post is one-part me venting/unloading about the Great Excitement of the past few days and one-part seeking wisdom. For those who don't want to read the…
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Won’t Go to the Dr./won’t get an assessment
I am curious what ideas people have for facilitating an assessment for someone who probably understands that something is going on, but refuses to go to the doctor, and likely doesn’t want to do that because she is aware an assessment would happen. (the phrase - “you are trying to commit me has come up quite a bit…
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Knocking on closed doors
Hi. I recently joined by referral of my Mom's Pcp. She's 94 and we recently moved in with her to keep an eye on her. Not yet sure if it's old age or mild dementia but she has a habit of scaring me half to death by knocking loudly on the door and when I open it she says she wasn't sure anyone was in there even though the…
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Using telephone
Hello, I am new to this forum and this is my first post. My mom who has dementia is living with my dad in assisted living. Prior to moving, she drove herself to a local salon weekly for hair styling. Since moving and at the direction of her doctor, she has stopped driving. There is a hair salon at her assisted living…
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Moms Incontinence on another level
I've had two incidents w mom having bathroom accidents when we are away from home. I was so distraught / on the verge of tears when I caught her handling her waste/ putting hands in toilet. Has anyone ever experienced this? When I react she's so nonchalant about it / trying to give me a reason as to why its ok. It's not…
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I Need Help - Early Dementia/Paranoia
Hello to all! I am currently the grandson of my nana who I am led to believe that she is getting the early or moderate stages of dementia. She lives alone at a senior living apartment complex. However, for the past year or so - she keeps claiming multiple things. From someone drilling into her apartment, People are after…
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Caregiver Burden and Lack of Support with Loved One with Dementia (Behavioral)
Hi All, My grandma was diagnosed with bipolar in her 40s, and since her 70s has further been diagnosed with dementia. She is an Italian immigrant with little education, but has lived in the US since the 1960s. Her spouse passed years ago, so her support system includes my mom, and only a few of her siblings (my mom is my…
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Mom hiding diagnosis
Hello everyone. I'm new and I have a tricky situation. My grandma had Alzheimer's, so I know the signs. My Mom is 74 and has been having symptoms for 2 yrs. Repeating questions, forgetting things, not remembering places we've been, pets, etc. She gets super angry out of nowhere and she sleeps all day long. She has always…
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Mom forgets that Dad has passed
We helped my mom move from her home of over 45 years into a retirement community last December. I'd say she's in Stage 5 of Alzheimer's, but still in independent living. She doesn't love it and hasn't embraced being around other people, mostly because she knows her memory is not good. She recently started forgetting…
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Delusions
I am struggling with my mom. She has had mental health issues since her 20’s- diagnosed with schizophrenia in the 60’s. Who knows if that’s accurate, she refused to get any updated diagnosing since. Now she has AD mild stage diagnosed in 2019. She is taking Seroquel for the paranoid delusions and I thought they were…
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How to Deal With Angry Ex Spouse
My daughter and I are Co-Conservators for her Father (my ex-spouse). He has always had an angry and resentful attitude. He now has mid-level Alzheimers but denies it. He blames us for "putting him in prison" (assisted living). She lives in another state, and I am his only local contact. How can we best deal with his…
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tamper-proofing machinery
My Dad has Alzheimer's and frequently checks the oil on his car, lawn mower, etc even when it doesn't need it. He often forgets to put the filler cap back and has ruined some equipment this way. Does anyone have suggestions on how to tamper-proof machinery so he can't damage it? We don't let him drive the car, but he likes…
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Father continually tells me how beautiful/gorgeous/wonderful I look.
:s We just moved my father in to our house this weekend. Part of me thinks he is mistaking me for someone else since he seems to be so obsessed with telling my how beautiful I am. This is not new behavior--he actually got kicked out of the residential living he was in because he was inappropriate to other residents on many…
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Repetitive Sound
My 95-year-old father was diagnosed in 2018 with moderate-sever Alzheimer’s (at that time primarily in the medial/temporal lobes) and lives with my 96-year-old mother in an independent living facility. He is on Memantin (5mg) an Donepezil (10mg). Over the last year or my father began to rub his tongue along his cheek and…
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When is the right time for AL?
Hello. This is my first post. My 87 year old MIL was diagnosed with dementia (Alzheimer’s +) in March of this year. This brought clarity to the cognitive and personality changes we had been noticing over the past couple of years. Memory changes are really the least of her symptoms. She does have trouble with memory recall…
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Time portal!
Does this happen with anyone else? My mom, mid stage, literally forgets where she is if she walks out on to the deck of our home like she is entering a time portal. She has been in the neighborhood for 50 years and in this house for 15 years. As soon as we step outside to get some sun she wants to know when she is going…
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Grandma refuses to see psychiatrist
I'm primary caretaker to my Grammie, who has multi-infarct vascular dementia. She's still in early stages and very present, but has recently developed compulsive behaviors, heightened anxiety, and obsessive thinking. I'm not sure if she has anosognosia or is uncomfortable with acknowledging these issues, but she refuses to…
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Elderly Mother having episodes
Hi everyone I am here with a sad and heavy heart. My 74 yr old mother who lives quite a distance from me is having episodes with what I believe is Dementia. My younger sister is with her and she has health issues of her own. in the past three months my mom has been getting worse. This morning I spoke with her and she told…
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Jekyll and Hyde - Is this normal?
My dad was diagnosed with VD this year, he moved into a nice AL facility in February with, on the whole, good aids and nurses. I'll start off by saying my dad has never had a sunny disposition. Many times a week when I call him or visit, he tells me how miserable he is at his AL, and when I ask him what's going on, he…