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Communication
I NEVER wanted to be my mother's "parent". From listening to her complaints, calming her fears, managing her bills, to bathing her (and more of course). My brother said that he simply couldn't- too much work, not emotionally capable etc... Now, when we're in the throes of it all, he is paranoid that I'm taking all of her…
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Support & Advice
Hi. My name is Kate & I am new to the forum. My mom has been living in a memory care facility for a little over two years now just a few months after my dad died abruptly. The last two years have not been the easiest with losing a parent & losing a parent to dementia. My siblings and I relationship has been estranged since…
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Ending Medication
My mom was taking 5mg of donepezil- a very small dose. 10mg gave her terrible hallucinations and 5 mg just gave her various stages of bad dreams. (That's why she was in 5mg) She absolutely hates taking medicine and I hated her taking it unnecessarily. The doctor, actually 2 doctors, suggested that 5 mg probably wasn't…
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Visiting my dear friend in Florence, AL35630 next week: How to adress the topic?
Hello, I am Kerstin from Germany. About 35 years ago I stayed with a family near Chicago for while to take care of their disabled son. I returned to Germany but we stayed in contact ever since, we are like family. The mother (age 76) has now been diagnosed with dementia, but is in denial. At present she lives at her…
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Venting
It's been 4 months since my mom moved here to my neck of the woods. She moved away from her home of 40 years, her things, her friends, the sunshine, warmth and the ocean. She was worried that when the time came, when dementia was in full swing and she was stuck in SC, she would be all alone. Yet, she's so very unhappy…
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Are there things that helped you cope?
Hi I'm new here, my mom had been showing signs for over 2 years now. This summer they finally diagnosed her with dementia, I forget the exact type but they believe it was caused by her sleep apnea and not controlling her diabetes which decreased blood flow to her brain. Regardless it has definitely progressed quicker than…
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Surgery and possible progression
I already suspected that my mom was progressing from mild to moderate, but after a surgery, things have become even more noticeable, but it's also unknown whether the surgery was a factor. But now I'm also worried she might be going even further than moderate. Her sleeping got a little screwed up due to meds making her…
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MIL taking advantage now that FIL can no longer control spending, spent $19k on clothes last year
My FIL has mid stage dementia and my MIL has a long history of substance abuse and untreated mental health issues. She's been better since they moved to their retirement community but she still has her moments. We've been taking over the finances. The FIL long ago determined that he'd never have dementia and would never…
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Don't Know what to do
My mom has had Dementia for a few years now and it is overwhelming at times especially when she says things like I (her daughter) or my aunt (her sister) are trying to harm her when that is not true. She doesn't even remember my name or that I am her daughter but I know it is just the disease but it still affects me at…
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Tiempo disponible
Soy la unica a cargo del cuidado de mi papa. Estoy cansada, agotada y de muy mal humor. La enfermedad de mi papa se llevo mi vida social, y los pocos amigos que tenia. El vive conmigo y lo cuido de dia y de noche. Se que no soy la unica pasando por esto. Que hacen para tener paciencia?
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Struggling with a solution
Hello everyone! My name is Michael. I live in South Carolina about 4 hours away from my parents. My mother has dementia and her cognitive decline has been rapid over the past few months. My father has health problems and hearing issues, but is able to take care of himself. However, my mother requires a lot of monitoring.…
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How to hold a conversation with a relative who has dementia?
I have a relative who was first diagnosed with dementia a few years ago and over the last few years I have noticed it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a two way conversations with her. I feel awkward about asking too many questions as I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable and she is quick to hang up the…
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Repeating the same story
My brother is in an assisted living facility and I provide in-person care 2 or 3 times a week for about 3 hours each visit, and talk on the phone daily. He repeats the same stories every time we talk (nearly word for word). For example, he will say "did you know they found salt on Mercury (slight pause) who cares!!!" Other…
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Constantly Arguing
Does anyone else argue with their spouse/ partner regarding care of a parent with dementia? If so, have you found anything that works to help alleviate the stress on your relationship?
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Home Help
Hi, I am a 21yo and I live with my Grandma who is late stage in dementia. I need help finding homes. I am in constant therapy for PTSD from the abuse and need guidance. I feel like either I go into a psych hospital or find her a home. If there's any recs that someone can give me I would be most grateful.
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My spouse has early dementia
:o :/
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Am I going crazy...
For the past 3 weeks my DH has been sleeping all day long. He hasn't been eating and has lost a lot of weight. He was diagnosed with Dementia about 6 years ago. If he gets up, it is usually about 5 pm and he rarely gets dressed. BUT now, for the last two days, he has gotten up around 3 pm and gets dressed? He has actually…
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New to the forum-Questions
I am new to the forum. My wife has Alzheimer's and was diagnosed officially a couple of months ago. She is 71. She has balance issues, difficulty getting up and standing, very poor appetite, and is sleeping a lot. Pretty much all day today. She complains of pain--sciatica, although I think it is something that is happening…
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PWD over-estimating their abilities - any strategies for coping?
My 94 yo mother was diagnosed with dementia last July. She is in stage 4. She lives in a CCRC. She's been there 6 years in a cottage living independently. Now we have a succession of aides coming in for various tasks, like medication management and general supervision. She complained about that a lot at first, but seems to…
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New here, looking for support
My mom has been on a steady cognitive decline over the past 2 years after a big fall and some medications she was placed on. We have not been given the diagnosis of Dementia due to the fact that she will not get tested and gets extremely angry when it is suggested. (She has always had anger issues and does not let anyone…
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hospice, meds, changes, etc.
Hi y'all. Just checking in and updating on the progression of things. I'm positive my dad (83, general dementia diagnosis) is transitioning to a new stage. Sleeping more, shorter attention span, eating less. He doesn't chit-chat with me like he was before. Things moved quickly with our switch to the new PCP & health group.…
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Go Home Gone wrong
have not posted for a while, spouse with moderate dementia, diagnosed two yeas ago. 11/6 somewhat normal day, trip to the store for bananas, daughter and grand kids visited to jump in leaf pile, spent more than normal amount of time out doors. had a great time. around 4PM I was taking the dog for pre dinner walk, when she…
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Adjusting to the decline & hospice
Hi everyone, we have a nurse practitioner coming to the house next Friday and then the week after that we'll be having a virtual visit with his new physician. I've also been in contact with a hospice/homecare group for about the entire time he's been home. She checks in on how he's doing, and she recommended this new…
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Destroying Things
I care for my mother-in-law and she spends a lot of time destroying things. Tearing things apart (especially anything made of paper or cardboard) and writing on things (marble coasters, artwork, kitchen tools, anything), cutting things up (the corners of furniture). I have no idea what to do. I don’t give her a hard time…
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Driving - got Mom’s doctor to have “the talk” - I feel so guilty
This is my first post. I apologize it’s so long. My 94 y.o. mother was diagnosed with dementia in July (mixed ALZ/vascular). I’d say she’s gone from stage 3 to stage 4 in just a few months. My brothers and I have been trying to get her stop driving. We encouraged her to take advantage of the on-call driver in her CCRC…
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Replacing hearing aids
My mother is in skilled nursing facility with mid-stage dementia. She has hearing aids and has lost one of them. It is normal for her to have them come out during the day and need to be put back in. We had them on a cord attached to her shirt but she still managed to lose one. My quandary is- to I replace the missing aid?…
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Caring for LO when they're sick
Hi everyone, I've been absent for a bit -- we hit a semi-stable routine while we wait for our appointments with the new physician's group that was recommended to us. This post is one-part me venting/unloading about the Great Excitement of the past few days and one-part seeking wisdom. For those who don't want to read the…
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My 83 years old Mother thinks the Male Neighbor is stalking her & she now thinks he is in my room
My Mother was diagnosed with Dementia in June 2023, she is a retired teacher (55 years) & hold 3 master's Degrees, she was extremely attractive, but she was always unkind, selfish, and focused on men. My father was not good to her, they divorced when I was a baby (he was also a very Dark Black man, and for light-skinned…
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I Need Help - Early Dementia/Paranoia
Hello to all! I am currently the grandson of my nana who I am led to believe that she is getting the early or moderate stages of dementia. She lives alone at a senior living apartment complex. However, for the past year or so - she keeps claiming multiple things. From someone drilling into her apartment, People are after…
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Struggling with my stress
Hi. I’m new to this group. My father passed away a few years ago. He had Alzheimer’s. We had full time live in care for him. Last year my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She is getting worse rapidly. She has a flat that is part of an independent living community. However she is now struggling to live…