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Overwhelmed with guilt & grief
It was a long road but my father in law has been living in a memory care facility close to us for about 6 weeks. Even though I know that my husband and I would be unable to care for him safely in our home because he would mostly be alone, I still feel so guilty for this major decision. When family and friends ask about my…
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Early onset VD/Alzhiemer’s
Hi all, glad I found this community. I haven’t met anyone I can relate to about my situation and it would be nice to have someone to talk to that understands. I brought my mother to the hospital the day before her 59th birthday because she was barely able to walk, could only move one eye, stroke-like symptoms. When she…
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When he can't stand up anymore
My dad is 81 with dementia and heart failure. He is in hospice at home. My mom (81) and myself ( I'm 50 and have severe treatment resistant depression and physical disabilities) care for him. Twice a week a nurse comes to check on him for 15 min. He is no longer able to walk; he can stand briefly with a walker so we can…
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New behaviors from mom
Hi all I am new here. I live 5 hours away from my mom. She recently threw away her wedding rings including her beautiful 50 year wedding anniversary diamond rings my dad gave her. He passed away 12 years ago. She said since he won't come home and doesn't care about her she doesn't care either....the entire family is…
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How to become a provider for my Dad
This is a long story short. New to this. Dad has Dementia pretty bad and wife kicked him out 2 weeks ago. Us kids have been trying to care but super hard with this new lifestyle for him. The other day he fell at my sister's and we were in the ER for 2 days. He was transferred to a rehabilitation facility. He hates it. I…
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Books that were recommended to me
The Social Worker, Tessa, at The Memory Center Clinic (Dept of Neurology) at the University of Chicago Medicine recommended these 2 books to me, at Ray's appt last Fri. Have any of you checked these out? I read the reviews over at Amazon.com. I ordered these. I'm a retired dinosaur RN. "Travelers to Unimaginable Lands" by…
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Recently Diagnosed MCI - Questions Posed
Invite your thoughts on my take on MCI diagnosis: having been diagnosed with MCI and experiencing what seems to be a downward progression, having researched pretty thoroughly it seems to me that the best thing(s) I can do are: (a) exercise daily; (b) stay engaged with others - i.e. don't isolate; (c) pursue natural…
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Personal Stigma
Why is the stigma associated with mental health, dementia, Alz, etc. so pervasive? It affects all of us, even those afflicted……
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Father in law early stages , and visiting him soon
Hi everyone! So glad I found this website right now. What a relief wow. Story goes , my husband went to visit his parents in a different state last week. When he arrived, his brother pulled him aside and told him there father is starting to forget things, ask where he is, fighting with his wife and more. Side note : My…
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Seroquel
I’m new to the community. My dad has dementia these past 5 years on namenda and donezepil. Lately he has started so sundown and will start having these episodes of looking for his wallet and blaming my mom (main caregiver) she’s stealing his money. Our doctor said to try seroquel but I’m scared as when I’m reading about…
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When to go from AL to Memory Care?
Wondering how we determine when the right time is to move mom from Enhanced Assisted Living to Memory Care. The plan is to move her to the Memory Care wing at her current Sr Living bldg where she is in the Enhanced Assisted Living setting. She has always been an anxious person, is currently on Zoloft and…
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My great grandmother passed away
My great grandmother passed away due to dementia. Since she was very old, we didn't take her symptoms seriously, which I believe prevented us from detecting dementia early. Looking back, early diagnosis of dementia seems to be the most important thing. She had symptoms of delirium, but we didn't think much of it. It wasn't…
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My sister is revising all my parents plans - I just can't deal with it
I moved both parents to an ALF three months ago. They both have gone downhill rather quickly. Mom has stage 5-6 dementia. Dad has COPD and was recently diagnosed with CHF. Both are double incontinent. Dad is showing signs of dementia too. Their living conditions are challenging. Ten years ago, they did their Wills, DPOA…
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Losing my mom...
Hello. I'm 100% new around these parts, but I was encouraged by the counselor I spoke with at the Alzheimer's Association to post my story here in search of those with shared experiences. I (53) live in Texas with my wife, and my mom (83) lives in Miami, FL. Since moving to Texas in late 2012, I've traveled back to Miami…
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Dad with dementia, COPD, CHF now in renal failure-wants no treatment
I moved both parents to an ALF three months ago. Both with AD. Dad has COPD and had been hospitalized to treat new onset CHF three months ago. When he was released from the hospital we moved him straight into an ALF with my mom. The ALF called last night saying dad now shows signs of beginning stages of renal failure. They…
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Argumentative
Hi new here my mom has had dementia for 2 years she thinks she can do whatever she want .she cancels dr appointments when she knows they Important and she argues with me she not going she does have other health issues I don't know how to help her understand how to get her to go without a argument
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How can I care for my mother on my own without losing myself?
My mother is 61 and has been diagnosed with dementia. I'm young - 33 and dating. I have a life to live but I am also the only person who can care for her. My father died 10 years ago and my living brother refuses to support her care as he "has done enough in this life" after my grandfather had dementia and father died of…
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WRONG DECISION
My 88 year old mom has dementia, age related memory loss, depression, stubbornness, and selfishness. She lives 1000 miles away from me and decided to try to live in the same town as me. She moved from her home with daily care to a supported living apartment. She's miserable being here and I'm miserable having her here but…
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Mother not cooperating with maid
My mother ,aged 66,is not able to go to washroom by herself We have maid,who helps her, recently she is not cooperating with her as well. Other than my sister,she does not allow anyone else to be with her. Need suggestions....to deal with mother Also,she is hallucinating....she looks at herself in mirror and gets hyper...…
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Contented Dementia Book
My husband was just diagnosed and I am reading about SPECAL care. This has helped tremendously. The book uses the metaphor of “old photographs”….. things in long term memory. When considering this, why would my spouse do odd things like put the tuna can in the freezer? Wouldn’t that be in your long term memory? Please…
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LO in memory care asking for credit cards, cash and driver license
I moved both parents to assisted living two months ago, and they are now saying both parents need to move to memory care. I am planning for that move shortly. Since they moved two months ago, both parents have been confused and disoriented. I have been holding my dad's wallet that contains a credit card, cash, both of…
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Need advice
My 94 year old father just passed away and my soon-to-be 94 year old mother has been with me for the past 3 weeks. She has dementia. My dad and I had shared caring for her. Now it’s just me, with no family nearby. I’ve had very little sleep while my father was hospitalized and then here in hospice. I’m hoping I’ll have…
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Dealing with the soul-sucking nature of witnessing this disease
I guess somewhere along the line I read that your LO with AD becomes somewhat unaware of how much they have actually declined. The unawareness protects them from fully realizing the impacts and the toll it takes. For those around them however, we do see it. We are aware of it. We also deal with the reality of watching…
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Navigating Family Dynamics: Post removed
Post removed
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Parents in AL, likely moving to MC soon and too hard to visit them
I moved both parents to AL five weeks ago. That was difficult enough. Then last week the DoN called saying both parents seem like a better fit in MC. We met at the facility and agreed to try an increased level of care in AL "for now". After only five weeks, I did not want to disrupt my parents and with another move so…
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What rights do other siblings have that aren’t in charge of guardianship
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Alzheimer's/Alcohol Dementia, Alcoholism, Hoarding and Medication Refusal - what to do?
Hello, My mom has been a lifelong alcoholic who has refused most medical care in her life. She lost her home, was asked to leave her independent living situation due to hoarding, and she is in assisted living now for the last week but seems to have declined. She is physically weak, uses a walker, and is essentially blind…
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My Parent Has Become Aggressive
Immediate need for advice! My parent suffering from dementia has progressed to the point of needing care at a facility full time. My stepparent is doing all possible to provide my parent with the best possible care. My parent has been to three different facilities in the last six months. My parent left the first facility…
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Are these common signs your LO has to move from AL to MC?
I just moved both parents to Assisted Living last month. The Director of Nursing called today and told me that both have declined rapidly since her initial assessment when they moved in and that both should move the Memory Care section. First, how likely do you think it is that both parents declined so rapidly in six…