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"Bed Cane" (support handle) to help with transfer from bed
Hi, it's been suggested I order a "bed cane"/support handle for my father (he has pretty advanced dementia and lives in assisted living. Those I see online look good, and I know there are medical supply companies with these as well. Has anyone used one of these, and is there a best, most secure brand (that doesn't slip out…
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The New Car
This shows that even the most "routine" or necessary change can really throw things into a tailspin. I am my mom's primary and only caregiver. She lives with me. I'm waiting to hear about an appointment for a Medicaid assessment, but they are pretty stretched and backed up, and I've been told it could take several weeks to…
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HOW to finish the diagnosis for a very unwilling patient?
My mom has been suffering with memory lapses for some time, but it was absolutely unacceptable to talk about these memory lapses! However, less than a month ago, she had a major episode in front of us where she didn't recognize my stepfather (her husband of 44 years) and was convinced we were trying to steal her money.…
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Siblings Who Care More About Their Inheritance Than Mom's Care
Greetings, I came across this article and it almost exactly describes my situation https://www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/133713 Does anyone have any experience with this?
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Working with aids in memory care
Hi everyone, Not urgent, but I am curious: what are all of your relationships like with the aids in memory care? I am a people-pleaser with a tendency to over share: working on this, but it’s pretty entrenched in my personality. I have become overly communicative with the aids, who feel they can share their opinions with…
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Doctor appointments
Hi all, My mom (69) was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I (28) am her caregiver. It's difficult being so young and trying to figure some things out on my own. I don't have any experience and no one in my family does either. I am learning as I go. Since my mom has started her diagnosis journey, she finds every…
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How to become a provider for my Dad
This is a long story short. New to this. Dad has Dementia pretty bad and wife kicked him out 2 weeks ago. Us kids have been trying to care but super hard with this new lifestyle for him. The other day he fell at my sister's and we were in the ER for 2 days. He was transferred to a rehabilitation facility. He hates it. I…
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mini moments and self talk / inner dialog
Hi community, I am reminding myself that Alzheimer's is what has changed dad's living situation and opportunity for more freedom. It's Alzheimer's that he's actually upset about. That anger and frustration just gets pointed at me. Alzheimer's is why he didn't realize the help he needed. It's also why he couldn't organize…
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Need immediate support
Hi everyone, I am in need of some immediate support, advice and good vibes! Today was the day that I was to move my dad into the very nice AL community that I had secured for him. However, he has had a few people filling his head with BS, and further convinced him that he is fine and they will "take care of" him, which is…
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Alternatives to Driving
Hi Everyone, this is my first post here. I read a lot of the past conversations on driving, but have what I think is a twist on the question. My best friend's husband was just diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimers in his 50's, and like many is having problems accepting that he can no longer drive. My question is about the…
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How to Parent a Parent: When They Need Help But Think They Are Fine
Hi, all, My mother has always been a huge extravert. But as her Alzheimer's progresses, she's starting to become more socially isolated and doesn't like meeting new people. She's also kind of "moody" at times and sometimes doesn't even want to talk with her friends. We're no longer comfortable with her being home by…
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Decisions
so my dad has a general diagnosis of dementia. Friends are telling me I should bring him to a neurologist. I believe he’s in a moderate stage. I don’t see the purpose of discovering what kind of dementia? It’s so disruptive to take him out of his home in memory care and to appointments. Weighing the pros and cons.…
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LO keeps asking how long he will be visiting
Hi everyone, Traveling with my LO and he has asked several times how long he will be visiting. I said about a week. He will actually be staying permanently. I am trying to come up with a go around but need some help. Anyone?
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Additional ‘care’ still needed in memory care?
My father is likely entering ‘early-late’ stage. He is still mobile with a walker but increasingly unsteady with difficulty getting on his feet. He can get to and from the bathroom and is primarily continent during the day though he can often have accidents. Incontinent during the night. But the biggest change I’ve noted…
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Things to keep my LO moving
Hello all, Recently brought my LO back home with me. We made it! Then I got sick and haven’t been feeling great but getting better. I wanted to know if anyone has any ideas to get my LO moving. I work from home and because I have been sick we haven’t done much. My LO doesn’t generally get up early so once he does I would…
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Early stage Dementia - Advocating for PT and OT at home
My mom was diagnosed with early stage dementia (March), neurology scan, neuropsych testing done. Balance and coordination are changing quickly. Despite outpatient Physical therapy (19 sessions btw January to July), she continues to have wobbly balance issues, particular when stepping onto gravel surfaces or going down…
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Behavior
I am so confused on how my dad can appear so “with it” and remember certain things and then be totally off in the next sentence?! Seriously, I have beaten myself up many a time for placing him in memory care but can now see VERY clearly he needs to be there. But I leave scratching my head sometimes!
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Viscious Cycle
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. My mom, with moderate MD, is a handful. I don't know what's an MD symptom anymore or not. My mom has 40% bilateral hearing loss (probably much worse, actually) and cataracts in both eyes. Yet, she will argue with me and the doctors about how she "knows" she doesn't and has never had hearing or…
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Mourning my mom
Hi everyone. My mom has been diagnosed with alzheimer's disease for about 10 years now. Last year, had to place her in a memory care facility(the hardest thing ever). She has been doing well there and they are taking great care of her. She is still declining tho. She is in the the final stage of alzheimer's. So she can't…
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Need advise
New to this platform. My mom has been living with me for 5 years. I discovered all the symtoms of memory loss almost two years ago. I have 4 siblings but receive very little help from one and help when needed by the other. Two siblings refuse to have contact with my mom. I am heartbroken bc of this. I don't know where to…
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Personal Stigma
Why is the stigma associated with mental health, dementia, Alz, etc. so pervasive? It affects all of us, even those afflicted……
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Can Anyone share positive stories of your LO moving to Memory Care?
I am curious to hear positive stories about Memory Care, if anyone here has any? I am waiting on that phone call from MC to move my mom into the facility. Mom is having big delusions that really stress her out at home and I wonder if she will benefit from the activities and positive distractions at MC ( I am trying to be…
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Need to vent
So mom moves into ALF tomorrow. She just called me screaming and crying. She said I can't wait to lock her up in a home and get rid of her. I know this is coming from fear, but still not easy to hear. The ALF is gorgeous, looks like a hotel , I would live there! Tomorrow is going to be worse. I just hope she doesn't give…
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Just needing to rant
Since my stepmother passed away a year ago, husband and I have been caring for my father with early onset Alzheimer’s. We are his only caregivers because my sister lives out of town. I have really been struggling lately dealing with the way my dad talks to me. As my husband says, “he stays on your a**.” Any time I try to…
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How to support my Father who is caring for my Step Mom with Alzheimers.
Deep breath, and here I go. My Father turns 67 in 2 weeks. 10 years ago he decided to take early retirement because my step-mom [will call her Mom past this] was starting to show signs of memory loss, the doctors said it was too early to diagnose anything, but he wanted to get as much fun and travelling in while they could…
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working at dad's house and sorting through things
Hello dear ones, We're going to dad's to work on things at his house beginning tomorrow. This time my spouse is joining me, thankfully. It's a buddy system task, for sure. I think it was HB who explained it as a uniquely sad task. Agreed. And several of you mentioned having someone with me if possible when I posted about…
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CT Scan Finally
So, here are the results from my dad's ct scan: FINDINGS: The ventricles are normal in size and configuration for age. Enlarged bifrontal extra-axial spaces secondary to bifrontal cortical volume loss. There is no acute hemorrhage or mass effect. The gray-white matter differentiation is preserved. There are no extra-axial…
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My dad is 63 with Early on set
Just wanting some support. My dad was diagnosed with Early onset Alzheimer's in September of 2023 and it seems that it is progressing very fast. He now needing help putting on clothes, seeing things that are not there, moving his hands like he is fixing something in the air, bothering well, and struggling with holding…
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Tips for What To Say
So…..my mom has failed to recognize me as her daughter. She refers to me in the third person, "Daisy," does this or "Daisy," does that. When she asks me what "my" name is, I say, "Daisy." When I give her my last name, of course, it's the same as "her daughter's." When she asks me about my birthday, I say the same one as…
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undiagnosed
My MIL exabits many symptoms of dementia. None of the adult children have medical POA. The FIL and MIL have medical POA on each other but that is all. Both are just under age 80 and FIL has physical ailments while MIL has dementia symptoms. I communicate with their primary. Due to HIPPA it is a one sided conversation. All…